Just add it to the mounting pile of debt I already have gotten myself into this month.
We had to get Love’s car fixed yesterday – to the tune of $918. Which is better then the estimate of $1400 (+tax) that the first place gave us, but still…nine hundred dollars.
Love’s compressor was going bad. But it wasn’t a frivolous thing; we didn’t fix it because of the air conditioning part. In fact, the A/C was working fine. But internally, the bearings were going bad. And whether it’s turned on or not, the Element is a single belt-driven engine. Meaning that the same serpentine belt that drives the alternator and the power steering, also spins the compressor. And with the bearings going bad, it means that it was going to fail. Failing means it would seize up and stop spinning. And if the compressor stopped spinning, our alternator would stop working (meaning no charging the battery) and our power steering would go out. The car would literally be inoperable.
Not all cars are apparently single belt-driven. And in those cases, if the compressor goes, no biggie; the car keeps running. My compressor had blown out completely and I could drive my car because it didn’t affect the other systems. But in the Element, the compressor has to have functioning bearings or the car doesn’t work.
So, my repair three weeks ago was $640. (Which was done on credit.) Then on Saturday, we spent $265 in cash to replace a damaged belt pulley and flush our power steering fluid. Turns out, neither were the problem and even though they both needed to be done, we didn’t have almost $300 to spend. Then yesterday, another $918 for a new compressor and belt. (The old one had been damaged by the damaged pulley and breaking compressor.) This was done on credit as well.
And now we have another monthly bill to try and pay when we are already so sunk and behind on everything else that we’re having problems keeping up with the bare minimum bills we already have each month. For example, I have yet to pay cable or power and I have no idea where the $300 for the two of them is going to come from. (Because the $300 that went to the first repair on Saturday was bill money.)
I can’t even tell you how panicked and stressed I am about money right now. Somehow, we’ve just gotten in fucking quicksand and no matter what we do, we cannot keep our heads above the surface. We haven’t done anything, gone anywhere, bought anything to account for it. Hell, half of my migraine problems is because I haven’t had the $40 to pay for my monthly massage in almost two months now. How the fuck does it get this bad and what the fuck am I supposed to do when there’s only x amount of money coming in and I need x PLUS a whole hell of a lot more?? I’m getting zero sales on my site and even when I’ve tried to sell things, I’m getting nothing.
It’s like, what am I supposed to do?
So yeah, $918. Plus $265. Plus $640. We’re talking about like 3.5 months of my income here. Months of income, not weeks. How am I ever going to stop drowning?
Let’s not even get into the stomach upset, puking, headaches, migraines, depression, anxiety (which is making a comeback), and sleeplessness that are all part and parcel of my life lately.
I feel so alone and so helpless and just completely without hope.