{"id":376,"date":"2010-09-13T13:52:44","date_gmt":"2010-09-13T17:52:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/2010\/09\/six-months-and-a-new-goodbye\/"},"modified":"2010-11-01T00:22:09","modified_gmt":"2010-11-01T04:22:09","slug":"six-months-and-a-new-goodbye","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/2010\/09\/six-months-and-a-new-goodbye\/","title":{"rendered":"Six Months and A New Goodbye"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='posterous_autopost'>\n<p>It\u2019s a sad day all-around.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Love\u2019s Dad has to put his dog, Red, to sleep tomorrow. Red is only seven and this is pretty sudden. He wasn\u2019t eating very well and had lost weight so they took him to the vet. Turns out he had tumors around his heart and some problem with his kidneys. Love\u2019s Dad is devastated; Red is totally his buddy. And Red is such a nice dog. He was so dedicated to Love\u2019s Dad. And the only other people he really liked near as much as Love\u2019s Dad is Love and I. It\u2019s everything I can do not to just start crying here at work.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>On top of the sorrow about Red, today marks six months exactly since our best friend, Rand, passed away. That was sudden and unexpected as well and really threw our lives into a tailspin. Some days I still haven\u2019t even begun to recover from it.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Six months and it still hits me like a blow to the chest at random, stupid moments. I don\u2019t know when it\u2019s supposed to get better. When will I stop getting a catch in my throat so strong I can\u2019t breathe for a moment over seeing a brown Jeep Cherokee in the supermarket parking lot (same as Rand\u2019s vehicle) or making a turn onto the road he lived on? Stupid things like a surprise plot on a TV show he used to watch or a movie or a commercial or whatever trivial, pointless thing that reminds me of him just kills me sometimes. The sheer finality of it just takes my breath away at those weird, random moments.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>So it\u2019s a hell of a sad day. Days like today I feel like I just can\u2019t make it. I feel like I\u2019m unraveling and there\u2019s nothing I can do to hold the pieces together. And part of me is angry; when do I get to stop feeling this way? When does it get easier?<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I have no idea and that not knowing kills me. <\/p>\n<p style=\"font-size: 10px;\">  <a href=\"http:\/\/posterous.com\">Posted via email<\/a>   from <a href=\"http:\/\/memoryanddream.posterous.com\/six-months-and-a-new-goodbye\">memoryanddream&#8217;s posterous<\/a>  <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s a sad day all-around. \u00a0 Love\u2019s Dad has to put his dog, Red, to sleep tomorrow. Red is only seven and this is pretty sudden. He wasn\u2019t eating very well and had lost weight so they took him to the vet. Turns out he had tumors around his heart and some problem with his&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-grief"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=376"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":479,"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376\/revisions\/479"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/giveneyestosee.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}