Depression

So I've been reading up a bit on different things about depression online. And some of it I thought I would share.

Signs of Depression: Five or more lasting at least two weeks
*Persistent sad, anxious, numb, or "empty" mood
*Feelings of worthlessness, helplessness, guilt
*Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
*Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that you once enjoyed
*Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
*Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down" or feeling sluggish
*Increased appetite with weight gain, or decreased appetite with weight loss
*Thoughts of self-injury, or attempting to injure yourself
*Thoughts of death or suicide, suicide attempts
*Restlessness, irritability, nervousness
*Difficulty concentrating, remembering things, or making decisions
*Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, backaches, etc.


Pretty much all of them with the exception of suicide attempts apply. And to be honest, when I try to really sit and think for how long I've felt this way, I can't really remember a time when I didn't. I fantasize in my head of a time when I was honestly and truly happy, but I can't put a date to it; I think it's more a sad longing for something that never really was, as opposed to something I once had. When I look back, I think I've spent most of my life in one form or another of depression. That's sad. And wrong. I think I got too much of the "oh, just cheer up" feedback growing up and I never had a chance to really address my feelings and deal with this ball-and-chain sorrow of mine. Which leads me to my next thing to share...

Things you should NOT say to a person who is depressed:
* "You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear."
* "But it's all in your mind."
* "As you get stronger you won't have to wallow in it as much."
* "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps."
* "Why don't you just grow up?"
* "Stop feeling sorry for yourself."
* "There are a lot of people worse off than you."
* "It's a beautiful day!"
* "What do you have to be depressed about?"
* "Happiness is a choice"
* "Maybe you should take vitamins for your stress."
* "Lighten up!"
* "Why can't you just be normal?"
* "Oh come on now, things aren't that bad"
* "You need to get out more."
* "Take a hot bath. That's what I always do when I'm upset."
* "Well, everyone gets depressed sometimes!"
* "You never think of anyone but yourself."
* "You're just looking for attention."
* "Have you got PMS?"
* "Why don't you smile more?"
* "The only one you're hurting is yourself."
* "You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it."
* "You brought it on yourself"
* "Snap out of it, will you?"
* "You want to feel this way."
* "You have no reason to feel this way."
* "Its your own fault."
* "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
* "Just don't think about it."
* "Just try a little harder!"
* "Believe me, I know how you feel. I was depressed once for several days."
* "Just pull yourself together"
* "Oh, perk up!"
* "Try not being so depressed."
* "Quit whining. Go out and get a job and you won't have time to brood..."
* "You don't like feeling that way? So, change it."
* "I want the old (Insert name) back. I don't like the way you are now."
* "Why don't you just get a part time job: you would feel so much better."
* "I know others who have overcome the same illness and they are holding down jobs: so what's holding you up?"
* "Keep your chin up!"
* "You're just being immature."
* "You are your own worst enemy."
* "That is life, you have to get used to it."
* "My life isn't fun either."
* "Maybe it's because of your diet."
* "A walk always cheers me up."


What not to say
Well-meant comments like 'you can't be sad, you've everything to live for' and crass ones such as 'pull yourself together' and 'snap out of it' are totally unhelpful. A depressed person does not have the ability to 'snap out of it'. Nobody chooses to be depressed or gains anything from the symptoms, and if they only could just 'snap out of it' they certainly would. Sensitivity and patience are paramount.


Things like "it's just in your mind" and "just feel better" or "just get a job and you'll be happy again." All that crap that doesn't do a thing to make me feel better, just belittles the reality and the depth of the situation and shows just how little she really understands what depression is. So what is it really?

What Is Depression?
A depressive disorder, or depressive illness, is a whole-body illness, involving your body, mood and thoughts. It affects the way you eat and sleep, the way you feel about yourself, and the way you think about things. A depressive disorder is not a passing blue mood. People with a depressive illness cannot merely pull themselves together, or snap out of it and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months or years.

Depression is an illness. It's not just made up, it's not just someone who has a bad day. It effects everything from your mood to your outlook on life, to how you feel physically to how much you eat and sleep. When I find myself struggling to complete simple tasks because I'm tired and distracted and don't have the focus to follow-through, that's depression. When I can't fall asleep until I'm dead tired and then sleep for ten hours, that's depression. When I pick at my food and eat less then a child per day, that's depression. All these things are like eye-openers to me. It's realizing that things are the way they are because of how I am; because I'm sick in a way I didn't fully understand. A sickness that's stronger and more debilitating then I thought.

Here's info on getting help yourself:
How To Get Help
Call the National Foundation for Depressive Illness, Inc., 1-800-248-4344, for up-to-date information on Depression and Manic Depression, for nationwide referral lists of university medical centers and physicians who specialize in the treatment of Depressive Illness, and for patient support groups.


Some sources for further reading: WedMD Center for Depression, Depression @lliance Online (UK site), Depression @ About, National Institute of Mental Health. There's plenty more with a quick google search.

Just some info and some personal thoughts on it all. That's it for now.