31
year old Pagan female who lives in Florida with her guy and two
cats, loves Disney, reads fanatically, tinkers in photography and
believes growing up is overrated
Help support Pet Cancer Awareness
I lost my beloved cat,
Kush, to cancer in 2003. Cancer is the #1 disease-related
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"welcome spring -
daffodils" ver. 20
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There are people on
the net that have nothing better to do with their time then be nasty
to other people online. They post rude comments, spend hours a day
talking about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a
day talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for
their opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone
to fit into their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw
a temper tantrum.
To these people I
say
grow up.
Here's a bit of
info people...the web is a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say
here, or who I am, or what I do, or talk about, or what I look like,
or the color of my hair, or whatever asinine thing you dwell on,
go somewhere else. It's really, really easy. Honest. You just
click the little "x" in the corner of your browser and *poof* the
offending, big, mean and nasty site has disappeared.
I pay for this
site. It's mine. That means I can use it for whatever the hell I
want to. Don't like it if I'm bitching about something in my life?
Oh fucking well. Go somewhere else. Think I'm stupid for expressing
my thoughts? Too fucking bad, don't read them. Somewhere along the
line, someone forgot this simple fact: Live and let live
Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care. This
journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or
fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to
write and express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So
read or don't, it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours)
bitching about it.
*gets off soapbox*
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Thursday, July 03, 2008
Sicker than Sick Forget the whole, "why do I have a sore throat?/Might I be getting sick?" thing. It's WAY official. I am dead-on-my-feet sick. Still a sore throat over 24 hours later, my entire body feels like I've been bludgeoned by sledge hammers and I'm alternating between sweating and being so cold I shake so hard I can't hold a glass of water.
I asked Love if he ran me over in the car then carried me up and put me on the couch without telling me, but he's not confessing.
I even had to sleep for an hour before dinner. (Which was the most delicious splurge of pot roast that I ate about four bites of.)
I'm going to bed. Wake me in a week when it's over.
When It Rains, It Pours Incidentally, it did that yesterday too. (Rain and pour that is.) Turns out "leak" in my car's a/c not so much a leak as a need to replace the entire compressor unit.
I got up and got ready to head to Mom's yesterday. I was heading up to meet her so we could go to the place by her that "fixed" the a/c in my car last time and drop the Buick off. I say "fixed" in quotes because they said there was a leak but couldn't find it. So they put dye in the system, recharged the 2lbs of empty freon and sent me on my way saying when it stopped working again, bring it back and they'd use the dye to track down where the leak was.
First off, it's about a thirty minute drive to Mom's. And the sky was a nasty shade of "it's about ready to pour." I made it about twenty minutes up, fingers crossed the whole way without any rain. The Buick doesn't have power windows and to wind up the passenger one means leaning as far over as I can possibly reach - not something safe to do when driving. So when I reached a traffic light ten minutes away from my Mom's and saw dark, dark clouds and lightning ahead of me, I rolled up the passenger window.
Sure enough, by the time I was getting into the turn lane to get into my Mom's neighborhood, the sky opened up. It was pouring by the time I got to her driveway. Got out, said our hellos and then got back in the cars and followed her over to the repair shop. (In a downpour, without a/c or defroster so my windshield was fogging over and her damned neighborhood floods like you wouldn't believe so I'm trying to follow her and can't see a damned thing.) Get there, explain what's going on and leave the car with the instructions to call us on Mom's cell.
Mom and I run a couple errands and then her cell rings. It's the repair shop with the fabulous verdict about the a/c. The compressor is shot. Sonofabitch! Two months ago, when I took it in, they assured me the compressor was fine. It was only a few years old because Nanny had it switched over to the new freon system in the recent past. But they said the dye looked like it "exploded" everywhere in and around the compressor. They seemed baffled that the a/c worked just fine for the past two months. I was baffled at why suddenly, it went from "there's a leak somewhere in the system we can't find" to "you need a new compressor."
*sighs*
So, I wound up driving back home in the heat - thankfully, the rains were done so I could roll the windows down - still sans air conditioning. They didn't have the part on hand that day and I wanted to call around and get some other estimates anyway.
It's an eighteen year old car. It's really not worth dumping money (that I don't have) into it. So it's highly frustrating to be told that a huge part which was supposed to be just fine, is now shot and needs replacing. And the quotes are not looking promising.
And if that weren't enough, I wind up with a sore throat. After I get home, soaked and sweaty, I change and we go out to the store to get some food. We have dinner (soup and sandwiches) and watch a couple episodes of Angel on dvd. My throat feels like it's fuzzy and coated in a film. I keep trying to clear my throat but it's just not going away. By the time Love's going to bed, my throat is no longer "thick" feeling, now it's just sore. And it's sore ALL NIGHT. I keep waking up because it hurts so bad to swallow it feels like my throat is half the size it should be. Meanwhile, poor Love who's still trying to get better from his bronchitis, is coughing all night - something he's been doing every day this week.
I wake up many times overnight and into this morning. And I just keep going back to sleep because it hurts so bad I want to sleep through it. I finally decide to get up for real around noon. It's doing a little better; still sore but not so tight. Love called his doctor's office and explained that he feels better mostly but the cough is brutal. (And it really is.) So they're calling in some more prescriptions for him. Poor guy just can't get past this. And I have no clue what prompted the sore throat from hell for me either. I almost never get a sore throat. Even when I get sick, I don't tend to get them. My voice is really broken today too and I don't sound like myself at all.
Anyway, it's just another fun couple days around the household here.
Briefly Oy! Busy day so far. I just wanted to touch on a few things real quick.
Mom made it back safe and sound from her vacation last night. I'm heading up to her place tomorrow to see about getting my car's a/c fixed once and for all.
Someone stole my idea! I came across an ebay listing last night for the "Tru Blood" sample I received and it's got two days left and is up to $71. So I said to myself I need to get in on this and list mine too. Hopefully, I can make some much-needed cash from it.
Getting ready to run out the door with my friend to get a book from the library and some kitty food. (Thanks to Steve for his order the kitties can eat!)
I may - may - have a lead on a potential opportunity for some work from home through a friend. It's way too early to get into it really, but just the fact that there may be something happening has me a little more hopeful than the other day. (When I felt more like debating which bridge to jump off of.)
I don't remember what else I wanted to touch on, but since my friend just arrived, I'm going to close for now. Just wanted to say a broad, "thank you" to all my friends who left encouraging comments the other day. It really means a lot and it's deeply appreciate more than you know just to get that kind of support and understanding.
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You've heard about it on the web. Everyone's talking about it. Well now, you too can get in on the ground floor.
Crap On TV When I flipped through the channels and proclaimed, "there's nothing but crap on tv!" I didn't mean it literally.
I guess sometimes the universe has a sense of humor after all. Sometimes you need a good laugh and this was certainly one of those moments. (Please note that not only is the History channel airing an entire program about poop, but that "All About Dung" two hours long. And yes, that is poop on the screen. Fossilized turd in fact.)
Online Garage Sale PLEASE check out THIS POST as I'm running an online garage sale. Need cash and want to clear out some stuff I'm not using at the same time.
Thanks for looking and feel free to spread the link around to anyone you know who'd be interested.
Just Down I haven't really felt like writing an entry lately. Mainly because I've got nothing but negativity and severe down things to talk about. (And who wants to read that?) Last Tuesday, Love's at work and the CFO of his company calls him to his office saying way back in September of 2007, Love had gotten an advance of $75 and somehow, it fell through the cracks until now and since they're closing the books they need the $75 that day. Neither the CFO nor Love remembered a $75 advance but it was in the books, so guess what? Had to pay it. The following day, Wednesday, Love had his doctor's appointment for his suspected bronchitis. It was over a two-hour appointment (and hour and a half of which I sat alone and beyond bored in the lobby until the nurse took pity on me and brought me back to sit with Love instead) and because Love's insurance just changed, instead of a straight co-pay for the visit, he now has to pay 30% of the total. Which we didn't know and weren't expecting. So, yay! His co-pay turned out to be $73.50 and then another $15 for prescriptions. (It was bronchitis.)
So in the course of 24 hours, we wound up spending near $200 that we didn't have to spend. I mean, I don't begrudge him the need to go to the doctor for bronchitis. Not at all. But we were expecting it to be like $30 or something, not $90 including the scripts. And no one was expecting the weird $75 he had to pay his work. Suddenly, we went to absolute penniless state and we hadn't even paid on the car loan this month. Nor the $50 I owe my friend Rand for fronting me the cash to get the tag on my car.
Now we've got literally $6 total to our names until payday on Thursday (since Friday is a holiday) but payday won't matter because it's rent check and his check is going to be short from taking a day off when he was sick. When it's rent check week, with a full check, we pay rent and have literally about $100 left over to last us for the next two weeks. And since we're already behind and broke - out of everything in the house in terms of food and household supplies - and since his check is going to be short, I'm not even sure we'll meet rent, let alone rent and have anything to live off of for the next two weeks.
Oh yeah and somehow we're supposed to come up with hundreds and hundreds of dollars by mid-July because we have to drive up to North Carolina for his newly-discovered sister's wedding. (Which also involves needing a hotel for two nights AND a wedding present.) This literally isn't going to happen and yet, not going isn't an option either. But it's at the point where we can basically pay rent or go to the wedding for July but not both. I'm sorry, but I know which is more important to me.
I've put out applications everywhere around me. I've followed up with all of the businesses, trying to get five minutes of face time to "sell" myself and try to get an interview. I can't even get a call back let alone an interview. Supermarket, Target, Lowe's - you name it, I've dropped off an application. Nada. Nothing. No response. What exactly else am I suppose to do if I can't even get them to call me back?? I update my site regularly with new things - but most people don't have cash to spend right now either. So nobody's buying. I can't even count on the little $20 order here-and-there to help out like it normally does.
It's not like I'm not trying. I am. But nothing's coming of any of it. Meanwhile, we're just falling deeper and deeper in the hole and I'm just out of ideas and options. We can't get ahead because we can't even get caught up! Hell, the only reason I have the $6 in my wallet at all is that I found $11 laying on the ground on Saturday and I've got six left. Seriously. It's just that bad. We can't borrow money from anyone because (a) we either already owe them money or (b) can't get ahead enough to ever actually pay them back. I don't have a credit card, so if we don't have cash to buy something - like food - oh well, it just doesn't get bought. And it's not like we're blowing our money on all this extra stuff. I mean, neither of us even has a cell phone or anything! There's no credit cards, no cell, no debts (other than the car but that's a necessity not a luxury) so there's nothing to "cut back on."
I read these "ways to save money each month" articles and it's the most absurd shit like "don't buy a $5 coffee everyday and you'll be amazed at how much you save!" Well first off, no shit, Sherlock. Secondly, no one in this house is ever spending cash on fru-fru coffee like that. Even if we drank coffee, we wouldn't have the money for that much cost each day. Then it's things like "don't pay for dog walking or grooming - do it yourself!" (Yeah not an issue in my life either.) Or, "cut back on your weekly manicures and pedicures!" (What manicures or pedicures? I've had exactly ONE pedicure in my life and that's only because I had a coupon that got it basically for free.) All these "save money" articles expect that you're living high on the hog and not already wallowing in the muck. I'm sorry, I haven't even bought myself a new toothbrush head for my Sonicare (that the only reason I own is because I got it free in a BzzAgent kit) despite the fact that I've been using the same one for seven months (recommended change? every three) because it's $28 for a three pack of heads (can't buy just one) and I don't have $28 to spend on something as frivolous as my dental health. My last haircut was in January. Not exactly glamorous living here.
Hell, I owe $20 to Dreamhost because I haven't been able to even pay the $9.95 a month hosting charge last month or this month. They'll be shutting down PhoenixFire Designs any day now until I pay them. But I can't and once they suspend it, it's kinda unlikely I'll be making any money from the site to be able to pay it, you know?
So all of this is why I haven't written an entry. Why bother? No one wants to hear it and no one cares that I'm at a point in my life where I literally don't know where the money for my next meal is going to be, let alone how we're going to put enough gas in Love's car so he can get to work all week. It's disgusting and pathetic and I'm just so very, very sick of it all.
WAY Overdue Recap Entry - Part 2: The Rest of the Week So, Tuesday the 17th was Eddie Izzard which rocked. The rest of the week and it's week-long migraine fest? Not so much with the rock.
Every day from Monday (16th) through Sunday (22nd) I had a migraine. Either I'd have it and it wouldn't go away and thus I'd wake up with it still there, or, it'd be gone when I got up, but as the day went on...BAM! it'd hit again. Normally, by Sunday, the hormone-induced migraines are gone as I start up the new pack of Pills. But noooo... this month had to be even more of a pain in the ass than usual. I had one Sunday night. By the time I got up Monday, I was beyond sick of being in pain. Thank goodness though it was the first day migraine free. And *knock wood* none today either. Last night, I had some sinus pressure from the storm fronts moving around, so I took a Sudafed decongestant and that helped. Still, it's such a relief to not have a migraine after just about a solid week of being in pain.
The Weekend Well, it rained Saturday. Like ALL DAY. Which was great, don't get me wrong. We need the rain. It's just really unusual. Florida's the kind of place where the term "scattered showers" has a whole new meaning. It can rain literally on one side of the street but not the other. And, typically, in about 20 minutes, it's all gone anyway. Saturday it just rained and rained and rained.
We ran out to Blockbuster and rented Fool's Gold (Don't ask me why, it wasn't MY choice.) It was so horrible that like 15 minutes into it, I was bored beyond belief. 30 minutes into it I got up and worked on my website updates instead. Terrible.
Sunday, Love wasn't feeling well and didn't even make it down to his folks for the weekly Sunday morning breakfast. I had a migraine again so we both basically slept the day away. Total wash of a day.
Monday & Tuesday So, poor Love still was feeling horrible on Monday but he had to go in because he's out of sick days right now and we can't afford for his check to be short. (Hell, we can't afford life with his check at full amount right now either. But I digress...) So he muddled through the day.
Tuesday, it was clear the whole sick thing wasn't getting better. And in fact, his chest was getting worse. So he actually called and made an appointment with the Dr. He goes in tomorrow (Wednesday) and they're pretty sure he's got bronchitis. Sadly, poor Love is prone to it. Whenever he gets a cold, it always settles down into his chest. So hopefully, with some antibiotics tomorrow, he'll start feeling better soon. Poor guy is miserable.
Today I also ran out to the post office (as reported in the last entry) and it was hot. Spoke with my mom for a little while today too which was nice. Hadn't heard from her since she left for vacation. She's up in New Jersey with her sister right now and they're going to be getting together with some of my aunt's kids in the next few days and making a run into NYC as well. Mom's from New York so she's really looking forward to that. She's also having a nice time and that's good too. She really deserves it.
Yesterday, I also sewed two little projects. Using the Easy Peasy Wallets tutorial, I made two of them. Neither perfect, but both pretty good for being such a clueless sewing newbie. (I had the perfect pink thread for the one but no real color thread that totally matched the blue tie dye one exactly.)
I'm proud of having gotten them to work and be pretty darn "finished" even if they're easy projects and I'm still perfecting technique. It's definitely harder to sew than I thought it would be, and yet, I'm finding that from one test project to the next, I'm seeing marked improvement. So it makes me hopeful I can crack this yet. *chuckles*
I think I had more I was going to mention, but at this point, I don't remember. I've also posted a few updates already as well (like the a/c going out in my car on Thursday) so in one confusing way or another, I'm pretty sure that's the gist of my week. Hopefully, without the migraines to totally sap the life out of me, this week can be slightly more productive than last.
Ok, well, Love laid down awhile ago to go to bed and I'm typing in here disturbing him, so I'll wrap here. Night all!
WAY Overdue Recap Entry - Part 1: Eddie Izzard First off, it's effing hot outside. I just got back from running a simple errand over to the post office. I had to drop an order off. Post office is like three or four miles away. But when you have no air conditioning and the feels-like temp outside is about 96F (35.5C) outside, you just sweat and sweat everywhere and don't dry off. I've been home like 20 minutes and I'm still hot. Ugh.
Anyway, that's not the point of the entry, I'm trying to play much belated catch-up on the past week or so, including my never-got-around-to-it write up of Eddie Izzard last Tuesday, June 17th. So let's get on with the show.
Cake Or Death? (Tuesday, June 17, 2008 This was the night I got to see Eddie Izzard doing his "Stripped" stand up show while on tour at Tampa Theatre. Let me first pause to tell you a little bit about Tampa Theatre. It was built in 1926 as one of America's "most elaborate movie palaces." And let me tell you, the place is weird. The decor is the most amazingly over the top you can imagine and yet it's really neat. Escaping demolition in the 1970's it went on to become listed on the National Register of Historic Places and a Tampa City Landmark. When it was opened, it was the first air conditioned building in Tampa. It's really a weird place and it's totally haunted. But it's a neat place just because of it's history and uniqueness.
(When he came out on stage, he turned around to look at the walls, and decor and everything and said, "Oh this is quite nice, isn't it?" He explained that he hadn't bothered with the sound check that day ("I told 'em to fuck off" said in that humorous Eddie Izzard style) so this was the first time he'd seen the stage.)
We got there and when I gave my ticket to the usher, he said, "Oh! Congratulations! You're in the front row!" And sure enough, yup! We had gotten the tickets through a co-worker of Love's. She's friends with someone who handles shows and such at the Theatre and had access to reserved block of seats.
Hard to see, but this is the view from my front-row seat. I didn't take any photos during the show as they specifically said no pictures.
The seating chart gives you a better idea of where I was lucky enough to sit!
He started late; about 15 minutes past the 8pm show time. Someone said that they were trying to finish up with the lines in the lobby though I don't know that for sure. The first 15-20 minutes or so when he came out, he just kinda chatted, joked and babbled about this and that. He asked what "Tampa" meant (and he kept saying it really funny, like "TAM-PA" all bold and with a big break between the two syllables) and then he pulled out his iPhone and Wikipedia'd it. He joked quite a bit about Wikipedia and how up until only like "two years ago" if you wanted to know something - like how to make jam - you'd ask your friends and if they didn't know, you just had to go on not knowing. And now, though, with wikipedia, well...you can instantly learn how to make jam! And the whole world will know how to make jam together! He also joked about how slow the internet is on the iPhone but how that should change in July. He started reading something about Tampa very seriously, then looked up and said, "no, I'm just shitting you; I just made that up. I'm still waiting for it to load." He also commented about the heat and we shocked him by pointing out that even us residents aren't use to the heat. It was really funny. He literally bopped and danced around the stage all hyper little kid-like and just warmed up the crowd and himself. At one point, he's like, "This isn't part of the show. I haven't started that yet." And we all laughed. (Of course, because he's fucking funny.)
The rest of the show was great. He said in the show, he'd talk about "everything" - and he was right. He started with the earth being formed 4.5 billion years ago. Joked about dinosaurs and the absurdity of people who dismiss all the amazing scientific facts about life on earth developing and randomly evolving and instead believing that the Earth is 7,000 years old. ("I have only two problems with 'Intelligent Design.' Number one, the 'Intelligent' part. And secondly, the 'Design' part. Other than that, I think it's brilliant!") Went through historical events and civilizations and such and there's just no way I can even begin to touch on all of it. I mean...he's crazy. But in a good way. We laughed for the whole show (which was over two hours long.)
When he finished up, we applauded and gave him a standing ovation. He came back out for another 10 minutes or so as an encore. We were hoping that we'd get a chance possibly to meet with him backstage as the co-worker's friend can normally hook that up, but I guess he was leaving right after the show and wasn't going to do a meet. I don't know what happened because he did another show in Tampa the following night and I think he did a meet after that show but, either way, we just exited the theater after the show and didn't stick around to find out if what we were told was right or not.
We had a great time. He's so funny. And he really hops around and dances about and stuff on stage just like I've seen in the dvd's. He's so hyper I don't know how he does it. And he's so creative because you can tell that while he has an outline of where he wants to go joke-wise, a lot of it he just makes up on the spot and runs with it. WELL worth seeing and I'd definitely so see him again if he ever comes back to Tampa.
Oh yeah! And I even got a "Cake or Death" mug. Which totally rocks:
Ok, this has officially gone on really long, so I'm going to make a part 2 with the rest of the recap after the show. So more in a bit!
Summer! Blessed Summer Solstice to all my Pagan friends and Happy First Day of Summer to everyone else. (Of course, to those of you in the Southern Hemisphere, Happy Winter Solstice.)
How the heck is it summer solstice already? Jeez. Where is this year going? It dawned on me the other day, it's already been over a month since my birthday! Holy cow.
So, today's the longest day of the year and while it's been summer weather since early May here in Florida, happy summer anyway.
Perfect Effing Timing So on the day that I have like 500 errands to run and the day that Love won't be home until way late because he and his brother are taking their dad to a baseball game as a Father's Day gift immediately after work the a/c in my car decided to die.
Let me back up a smidge. A couple months ago, the a/c in my car just stopped working. It wouldn't get cold, it just blew kinda lukewarm air at me. I didn't have the cash to fix it, so I just dealt with it. I drove up to see my mom one day and we dropped the car off at a place near her. They fixed my a/c for me. Kinda. See, it needed 2lbs of coolant in a reservoir that holds 2lbs. Meaning, I have a leak. But they couldn't find the leak. So they put a uv dye in the coolant and sent me on my way saying that someday in the not-too-distant-future, I'd run out of coolant again and to come back and they could run a blacklight under the car and find the source of the leak to repair it.
Today was the day I guess I lost enough coolant that it no longer blows cold. Today is also the day before my Mom leaves for vacation for over a week. Since the place is way up by her house (a good half hour drive from mine) I now have to wait until she comes back from vacation before I can get my a/c fixed again. Otherwise, I'll be stuck sitting in the parking lot of a car repair shop by myself all day. (As opposed to my mom and I dropping the car off and then being able to wait at her house or something while they fix it.) Which means I'm stuck being unable to drive my car for the next week and change. (Because this is Florida and you know that heatwave you guys in the Northeast were dealing with? That's nothing on our daily heat and it's pretty much physically impossible to be in a car in Florida without air conditioning because of it.)
Just. Fucking. Great. Of all damned days. I can't just have bad timing in luck in my life, I have to have horrible timing.
Anyway, I'm waiting to hear back from my friend Rand so I can maybe at least bum some automotive a/c enough to get a few of the more important errands done. (Like getting the cats food for dinner tonight seeing as they didn't have it yesterday and I really can't get away with not giving them a full dinner two days in a row.)
Day Three Ugh, this migraine just isn't going away. Most of the last three days, I've had a migraine, just in varying levels of strength. Last night, it started to get bad again and by the time I went to sleep, it was killing me. So I got ready and went to bed. But, oh goody!, it's still here when I woke up. Ugh, I hate that. Sleep should get rid of it, but sometimes it just doesn't.
Unfortunately, there's not a lot I can do this week but deal with it as best as I can because the migraines this week are hormone-based. It'll be better next week after Aunty leaves but in the meantime...ugh.
I'm going to go take a nice, relaxing shower and hope the Excedrin kicks in. Then I can spend some time telling you guys about Eddie Izzard.
New Items Teaser Ok, I WILL get around to giving a more detailed report from Eddie Izzard last night, but right now, I'm going to post some teasers of a couple things I made today. I'll be doing a site update later tonight or tomorrow, but I like what I made and thought I'd show it off really quick.
First up, a genuine Garnet Tree of Life pendant on a memory wire necklace. Man, I love these garnets. They're this almost plum-red color. And I don't have any more of them, so this one is it for now.
Next, I made a stand-alone hematite Tree of Life pendant after getting such positive feedback on the memory wire necklace I made out of hematite. This way, there's a pendant ready and available on the site.
Also, because I had so many people wanting the Garnet Czech Glass Gothic Cross Necklace, I made one with an Ankh. I've yet to find another pendant like that one, but I did have a cool ankh, so I made this:
And, last I made these for a swap. I make these little yarn balls for use in my Faerie Hutches and a swap partner does knitting, so I thought it'd be fun to make yarn ball earrings:
Love kinda looked at me funny when I showed them to him, but that's pretty normal on the quirky stuff. I think they're fun and cute.
Ok, off for now, but more actual posting forthcoming. Honest!
Eddie Izzard Does Tampa Had a great time. So funny. Laughed for two hours. Sleepy now, more details later. Not a lot of pics because they didn't let people take any. But man...he was great to see live.
"So....it's hot here, but I guess you guys are used to it." (entire audience at once) no "No?" (entire audience at once) no
