32 year old Pagan
female who lives in Florida with her guy and two cats, loves Disney,
reads fanatically, tinkers in photography and believes growing up is
overrated.
Deals with several chronic health
concerns and worked part-time as an Admin Assist until the company
closed in November 2009. Looking once again for a part time job.
Also runs her own small business,
PhoenixFire Designs.
Help support Pet Cancer Awareness
I lost my beloved cat,
Kush, to cancer in 2003. Cancer is the #1 disease-related cause of death
for cats and dogs. With your support, together we can find a cure
ASPCA
The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
details
"seasons greetings 2009" ver.
25
originally created 12/7/09 and designed for 1024x768 or larger,
CSS capable browser Like
There are people on the net that
have nothing better to do with their time then be nasty to other
people online. They post rude comments, spend hours a day talking
about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a day
talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for
their opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone
to fit into their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw
a temper tantrum.
To these people I say
grow up.
Here's a bit of info people...the
web is a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here, or who I am,
or what I do, or talk about, or what I look like, or the color of my
hair, or whatever asinine thing you dwell on,
go somewhere else. It's really, really easy. Honest. You just
click the little "x" in the corner of your browser and *poof* the
offending, big, mean and nasty site has disappeared.
I pay for this site. It's mine.
That means I can use it for whatever the hell I want to. Don't like
it if I'm bitching about something in my life? Oh fucking well. Go
somewhere else. Think I'm stupid for expressing my thoughts? Too
fucking bad, don't read them. Somewhere along the line, someone
forgot this simple fact: Live and let live
Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care. This
journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or
fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to
write and express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So
read or don't, it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours)
bitching about it.
*gets off soapbox*
: : seasons greetings : :
my handcrafted jewelry, wearable
horns and more!
all hand made
M. Turner
Po Box 1484
Elfers, FL 34680
Dreamhost is a great webhost with a TON of bandwidth and features. I
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use MISSM25OFF
for $25 off!
Friday, February 05, 2010
Once In A Blue Moon Since I had such lovely feedback on my first Tree in this style, I've made a follow-up.
I will be making more in other themes and colors but this was the first new color I got my hands on. *grins*
Anyway, thanks for everyone's kind words of support!
Poor Love Love got an H1N1 Flu Shot yesterday at his work since they were doing them for free. This morning, he gets a horrible case of vertigo - dizziness, nausea, sweating, etc. - and winds up having to come home sick.
While the official CDC H1N1 vaccine safety page doesn't specifically mention vertigo, it does mention side effects including low-grade fever, aches, headaches and nausea. But a quick google search shows a lot of people seem to have reported various bits of dizziness/vertigo problems within 24 hours of their vaccination. Since he's never had vertigo in his life, I'm going out on a limb and attributing it to the vaccine. Clearly, he's just having a sensitivity or side effect to something in it.
He's been sleeping for the last 2.5 hours now so I'm hoping he feels better when he gets up. He never naps so the fact he's been out like this is a definite sign he's not feeling well. Poor guy though. Does what he thinks is a good call to avoid getting sick...and winds up missing half a day's work as a result.
Under A Full Moon I experimented the other night and made a Winter-inspired bare branch Tree of Life Pendant with a pearl disk to represent a full moon behind the branches. I really love how it came out.
Ok, now that's just funny. I JUST listed it and as I'm in the process of typing up this entry, it sold. WOW! That has to be the single fastest sale ever! Ok, I need to make more like this apparently!
Long weekend spending both days at Ikea. Saturday they had our mattress in the building but refused to take out the forklift during business hours. So we had to go back Sunday and then Love's parents and aunts came too and it became a big event.
Monday I had the interview and I told them that due to my medical issues I would only be able to work four days a week with wednesday off as a break between the days. He seemed ok with it and was actually really nice about it. The while interview went well but of course it depends on what other applicants I'm up against. I should hear either way next week.
Today I got an email from blogger that says in march they are discontinuing FTP posting and I would either need to move it off my domain (um not) or get this thing called "custom domains" where I would need to host it on google. So yeah not going to happen either. Bah. I've been on blogger since like 2001 so this really sucks. I need to figure out what to change over to now. I just need something that let's me type an entry, hit publish and have it show up on the domain I already own and already have a host for. Is that too much to ask for?
Bah.
Beyond that it was such a busy weekend it's weird that I have nothing else to do the rest of the week. But I've been wanting to do at least a brief update for the last few days and now that our wireless network is working again (the router died about two months ago) I thought I'd write a little update on my iPod. Love already went to bed of course and I just didn't feel like typing in the dark.
Anyway I'm sure there was more I was going to post about but I can't remember right now. Oh we got the "Sultan Hjelmas" mattress by ikea and it's pretty nice so far but the brand new one is SO much firmer then the display bed. Didn't really take that into consideration. Oops. Still anything is better then out twenty year old crappy one that was thin, sagging and generally crap that we had before.
Alright well this time for real I think. Ta for now.
Memories and Migraines (6:09pm) The Memories -It's been a weird couple of days. Yesterday I went up to my Nanny's house about an hour away to help my mom sort through the items in her house. Nanny is 93 now with dementia and sadly, simply cannot live on her own, by herself anymore. So Mom - along with the consent of her siblings - put Nanny's house up for sale and is moving Nanny into an assisted living facility on February 5th. The house sold so it means my mom's been there all week packing, sorting and selling off the things Nanny doesn't need anymore. (And while yes, it may seem cold or mean to do this, Nanny is not of her right mind anymore and while she believes she doesn't need help, the sad truth is that she's falling in her own house and such and it's just not safe any longer. My mom hates to have to make this decision for her but it really is overdue and necessary.)
So yesterday I was up there and on sorting duty. Going through stacks of paperwork to weed out the good stuff to save and throwing away or shredding the things no longer needed. It was weird because we found so many odd and old things that no one knew were still around. Nanny had stuff stuffed in with stuff so you had to really examine everything to know what it was. Which meant I wound up finding all sorts of interesting things - things like items from the flower shop my Nanny had when my mom was a girl, and things like my mom's Dad's death certificate and such. (My maternal grandfather died when my mom was only 9 in a car accident so needless to say I never had a chance to met him. I tend to think of him as "mom's dad" more then "my grandfather" simple because I never knew him.) We also found his actual wallet which was weird. Interesting, slightly morbid and yet fascinating at the same time. I mean, it still had his driver's license and social security card and all sorts of things in there. Just...wow. No one knew it still existed.
I brought home a piece of furniture I always wanted of Nanny's - an Art Deco style buffet table that was apparently my Great-Grandmother's. Its from the 1920's and while it needs a little love - it's a little beat up from being over 85 years old! - I've always liked it and I always hoped some day I would inherit the piece. I also saved Nanny's records which I figured were worth researching and seeing if they were worth anything to sell, and a few old books that were interesting (a book on physiology from 1929 that was once a book in the New York Pubic Library for example.) It was kinda neat seeing all this old stuff and going through it. I mean it was sad that Nanny's not coming back to her house and that we had to go through it all because she's just getting very old now but it was a neat walk through many decades of history - both personal family and in general.
long break away from the pc
(10:04pm) The Migraines - Today at 1pm I was supposed to have that interview but when I woke up around 10am this morning, it was to an instant migraine already in progress. Things got even worse very quickly, so I called and feigned a "family emergency" and rescheduled for Monday at 10am. I don't feel too bad about it because the job is a long-shot anyway in that it will require them to come down on the number of hours. (Right now it's six hours a day, five days a week which is FAR too close to full time for me to handle. Unless they come down to no more than four days total, preferably Monday and Tuesday on, Wednesday off and Thursday and Friday on, I can't accept it anyway. And I doubt they'll be that flexible in their hours.)
So I spent the ENTIRE day today in absolute misery. My head hurt worse then it has for a long time. Even now, at 10 o'clock at night, I still have that "migraine hangover" feeling where it still hurts but not quite as bad but definitely not fully gone and still at the edge of serious pain.
Anyway, that's the sum of my last few days. I started this a few hours ago but stopped for dinner and other things so I just wanted to get it done and posted. I'm hoping by tomorrow the migraine will fully have broken because today was just a total loss and being in pain for that many hours is just hell. Let's hope for a pain-free weekend.
Job interview friday @ 1pm. Part time but 30hrs/wk 10 more hrs then last job. A little much but worth checking out. $10/hr 10am-4pm mon-friday. Text msg from M
TAMPA (January 22, 2010) Florida's unemployment rate in December increased to 11.8 percent with more than 1 million residents looking for jobs.
The jobless rate in the Tampa Bay area was even higher – 12.4 percent, the same as in November.
That’s according to the state Agency for Workforce Innovation released the report Friday. It’s the highest unemployment rate for Florida since May 1975, when 11.9 percent of the state’s workforce was out of a job.
Florida's unemployment rate is about two percent higher than the national average. The largest number of jobs lost were in the construction, trade and professional areas. The only growth sector was health care.
I am, for the record, within the Tampa Bay Area. So it's 12.4% unemployed right now. Awesome. Factor in my limitation of hours I can work due to health and see what I'm up against?
Yes a lot of other people are having a hard time now. I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier emotionally do know you're just not wanted.
Two Months Today is two months since I lost my job due to the business closing. And I'm the only one who hasn't found a new job. The therapists have it easiest since many of them were working somewhere else in addition already or had their own private clients. They really just needed to find another room to rent or another group to join.
The other front desk person, Doris, had a job within about a week of the closing and has since found another job that she loves which is ironically right up the road from me. (She doesn't live right around here so the fact she's coming back to my side of town for a job is a little extra depressing.)
I've sent out more resumes than I can count. I've been on two interviews. And the closest I've come to a job is an offer of less then minimum wage and being an independent contractor on top of the low pay. I turned it down.
Everyone who knows me is like, "Oh, you are SO AWESOME and have SO MANY SKILLS and YOU'RE SO INTELLIGENT and ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE YOU so don't worry! You'll find something!" And yeah, I *do* have really good skills, personality and intellect - but what good is it that only the people who already know me know this? I need to impress blind, unknown, and random strangers via a quick email blurb and a one-page resume. And so far, I don't know, it's not coming through? Or maybe, the problem is that most of the ads I'm replying to are turning out to be credit report scams. (You get an email back from some hotmail account saying you're perfect but to click this link and fill out a credit report request first and then they'll be thrilled to schedule your interview. Yeah right.)
Finding a part-time job is just so difficult. It's hard enough finding a regular job but when you're me and you have health restrictions and you physically are unable to work 40/hrs a week (Or heck, even like 32 or something I see sometimes listed as "part time") it severely limits your options. It took me a damned year last time to find my prior job. I can't go another year without work and feeling this way either. Besides the money, my mood is just in the absolute shitter.
I'm so blue. I'm just feeling worthless and dejected and it all feels so impossible so why even bother no one is looking for me and no one wants me. It feels like it's never going to happen. The hardest part is that there are no leads. None. I have no promising direction or ideas. There's nothing out there that's even a "possibility" or a "maybe." I don't even feel like, well, there's job A and job B and job C and I feel like I've got a good shot at job B. No. There isn't even a job out there to go for! Every listing for a receptionist or an admin asst, or office worker or secretary or clerical, etc. is full time. Many of them I sent my resume anyway with a note of my part-time status and a summary of my skills. Of course I never hear back.
I just feel worse and worse the longer this goes on. And now we're at the end of January and I don't even have the excuse to tell myself that no one was hiring over the holidays. Because the holidays are over. So now what's my excuse?
It just sucks. I'm trying to keep up a good outward appearance but I'm really very broken inside right now. And it's getting harder and harder to even get myself out of bed, let alone trudge through the job listings just to find absolutely nothing out there again.
Two months. It's just a ton of bricks crushing me today. And I don't know how it's going to turn around.
IKEA, Gracie Update, Tax Return, Glasses and More (aka My Weekend Recap) Yesterday we wandered around IKEA for a couple hours, window shopping and planning. As I mentioned in my text post, we need a new mattress. Love and I have been together for over 11 years and he had that one before we met. So the thing is like at least 15 years old. And feels like it. We both wake up sore every single morning. This year, when we get his tax return back - in about two weeks since I just filed Friday night - we're going to buy a new mattress. We desperately need it and never have a large bulk of cash except at tax return time. Found one we really like so I can't wait to go back for it in a couple weeks!
My stomach's been cranky at me and my left shoulder was hurting so bad yesterday I couldn't even move it. And when I did move it once accidentally in Target, it stopped me cold with the BURST of radiating pain down my arm and back. Crap on a cracker it hurt.
Gracie's doing better. Her second antibiotic turned out to be a pill that I can crush into food so it's been easier to get her to take it than the liquid stuff and more importantly, no puking. Of course, she's supposed to go back for a follow-up on Tuesday but I simply do not have the money for it. Tuesday's visit would be over $100 and there's about $60 total left in the bank account. Which, given the fact we need food and gas for the week just can't go towards her appointment. I think she's doing ok though so I don't feel too bad not doing a follow-up but still. It stinks I can't. With only one income though, you can only do what you can do.
Sadly, while the holidays were wonderful on PhoenixFire Designs, since then, it's been dead. So I haven't even had any cash come in from that right now. There's normally some money in my PayPal account but these days? It's empty. :/
I haven't gotten my W2 yet but I know the approximate amount that I made last year and I should be getting back a little bit in Earned Income Credit. We've already earmarked that for my glasses since I've needed to replace them for literally three years now and they have actual, visible cracks in both lenses. Again, being blind like I am, glasses are WAY expensive because they HAVE to be the "ultra light" lenses unless I want to wear heavy, ugly Coke bottles. (Which, I don't.) I'm looking forward to getting new glasses though. It will be weird not to stare at cracks and chips 24/7. Weird in a good way. Of course, new Rx will take getting used to as always but hopefully it won't have changed too much. Adjusting to a new prescription is always headache-inducing the first few days. (To say nothing of a hyper light sensitive migraineur's response to having their pupils dilated...) All-in-all though, it needs doing and will be nice to finally fix the problem.
Alright enough random babbling. I need to go take a shower and other steps in the "getting more human" daily ritual, so I better get going. Hope everyone's having a nice weekend.
At ikea. Man prices are so reasonable. Already picked out new mattress to get with tax return to replace broken one we have now. Sweet! Text msg from M
Another exciting friday in the life of the unemployed. Broke and bummed I have things I need to get and no cash to do it. Happy friday to me. :/ Text msg from M
