A week and a half ago, you all may remember hearing me mention that after long, long last I had secured a new job...one that was relatively near by, paid ok, and while nothing terribly exciting, at least a would-be full time job. Flash forward to yesterday when I get a phone call informing me to "sit tight" and not go in. (the job was temp-to-perm meaning my placement agency got me the job and was technically paying me for the first 90 days when at that point, the actual company would take over as their employee officially) Needless to say, things like this are not the easiest nor the most comfortable things to hear.
But, what can I do but sit and wait?
Talked to my rep yesterday and she asked me how things were going and what was going on there and such and so forth. I told her I thought everything was going great-everyone loved me, complimented and praised me for my job well done. This was quite a shock that suddenly, there was this big finality of my employment there. She told me she'd be in touch and I went home mostly confused and quite thoroughly scared at the prospect of yet again being without a job...
Today I talked to her again-in person as I went in and picked up my things. "Something" is going on within the company she told me, something that she was not only not entirely 'in' on the situation, but one that she was unable to disclose at this time. In short, she knew something was up, but could not really tell me what. But, they insisted they were adamant over my discontinuation of employment there and so, that seems that. I've been let go in a cross between firing and laid off. Not so much me as something brewing there (or so my rep tells me).
It leaves me in this damned mess of a situation though where not only are we horribly struggling as it is (even with the promised checks of my newfound employment to come) but now, we are truly drowning. Rent is late already-due yesterday-along with cable, car payment, car insurance, phone, and a brand new surprise of a water bill. Rent shall barely make it (with the damned late fees) but nothing else. And I have no further checks to come. My Love gets paid tomorrow (which is the only reason rent is coming at all) but not again for two weeks. To compound this problem (when is it simple?), I have yet to make my COBRA payment for my health insurance for March OR April. This is bad for many reasons. Until and unless I pay it, my insurance stopped February 28th. All those lovely iron treatments (at $120ish a shot x 15 shots) came in March. As did the two Dr visits. Also, my follow up on April 20th is edging closer and I don't have the $400 for the two months of payments needed. I can't miss the follow up or I risk sliding into anemic hell again. Also, I am in desperate need to get a re-evaluation of my birth control pill. It's just not working. I'm runnning cycle-after-cycle without stop. I know that's just killing all the new blood I worked so hard to produce...making the follow up all the more critical still.
To add insult to injury...
I just spoke with my rep about a possible temp job. Just two months. Pays crap. But, it's the place that has me cringing. A local television station needs help with some aspect of their broadcast. Something about the data, records, and such. Anyway, they're interested in me. I, however, am not interested in them. You see, the station is a Christian network. "Faith and Glory" or some such. Oh gods, I could not endure two months in Christian Hell. (pun intended). And yet, it's money. Who am I to say no when so desperate is my plight??
Oh yes....and there's one further matter making it a nice, neat, package of shit. The fact that my lease is up on April 30th. I have yet to tell them either way. I'm already bad since I am supposed to give 30 days written notice. (oops, too late for that) What's worse is my Love and I are literally on the edge of ending our relationship. More specifically, I should say he's on the verge of ending it. This alone is a world-shattering notion. Add it to the fact that I have no job, no place to live past the 30th, no money saved, a car I can't pay for (the whole no job thing) to the fact that I may be alone very, very shortly...and well...I'm just not happy. (this is the point, I know, there is a collective "duh" forming on the lips of those reading this).
In any event, should I not be around, it is most likely due to the past due on the cable bill and the resulting disconnection of service.
You finally reach a point where things are just so bad that you can't really feel them anymore. The pain gets to a point where it's just so overwhelming that you simply can't take anymore. That's kinda where I am now. Numb but raw on the inside.
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 4/5/2001 05:23:28 PM ~
~
