By the way, in case you're wondering, the $800 I mentioned? Well, thats the cost of my cat's only chance to live. $786 to be exact, but who's counting? You know, some people would baulk and never pay it, but those people are not the kind of people who deserve to have a pet, and gods help us, should never breed themselves. See, it's not about price - at what cost do you put the live of your best friend? - and it's not whether that friend has two feet or four, it's that their life is worth something....and if he can't pay to live, then dammit, it falls to me. You'd never expect a child to pay their own way to a doctor, and neither can I begrudge my cat his tumor. His life is worth trying to save, worth helping to fix, worth my worry, grief, and aide...he posesses a soul like any other being and as such, feels love, pain, and hurt like any other being. I feed his hunger, share his love, and now I need to try to take his pain from him. It's what it means to be parental. It's what "maternal instincts" mean. It's not about who or what is suffering, it's about loving them enough to help... Part of this help I need to give is financial, and for anyone not paying attention, I don't have finances right now. (or for the last two months in case anyone's counting; I know I am anyway) And so enters the kindness of friends...people around you who know and see and share in the need to help....they need to help me and I, in turn, need to help him...it's a circle as simple and basic as any, and yet one that all too often in this jaded world comes to pass. I may not be happy knowing that I'm plunging deeper into owed monies and favors, but I do what I have to do and the best that I can do...those who help know how much they are appreciated and how much I will always remember their kindness....I'm not one to forget a favor and try always to return in like kind.
In short though.....thank you to everyone....for their words, support, help, aide, favors, and thoughts....it means much more then you can know.
+++ We're Off to See the Wizard...+++
Now, back in the real world, I await a return call from Gainesville. I was, originally, planning on driving up there today and working Thursday and Friday, with the approval to have off Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. The vet normally schedules all surgeries for Tuesday and, as such, I was planning to that end. When I finally spoke with the office today, however, they determined they could get me in Friday instead. So...now....I wait to hear if still I will be driving up there for at least one day of work (Thursday) or if they want me to wait until after the opperation on Monday... it'd be nice to know what's going on considering I've packed nothing yet and am facing an 2 1/2 hour drive if I am going. (not to mention the 38 mile drive just to get home from my friend's house where I am penning this entry!) Eeep! Call me back! *bites her nails*
In short, I did accept the job and am just waiting to hash out the final details...like when I'm starting and pesky stuff like that. Such a nerve-wracking time. So many things up in the air and waiting on other things to resolve. I can't stand this borderline of ....yes-but-no-but-sorta-but-almost-but-planning-but.... it gets tiring fast...
+++ Hide and Seek+++
In other news, yesterday was magick birthday number five for my little goddaughter, Rook. (damn, I need a current pic to upload!). We all gathered at my friend's house (the father) and had pizza, cake, and general mayham and fun. *whew* I learned the hard way that 5 year olds have far too much energy for this old lady! *grins* Although, what was nice is that her godfather lives in Phoenix, but was able to come here for vacation, and so was here for the birthday. He and I and Rook played Hide-and-Seek (inside nonetheless!) for almost 2 hours, having FAR too much fun, and making FAR too much noise. It was the best. We'd take turns hiding together, looking together, or any combination inbetween as she wanted it. I can't tell you how fun it was to just spend some quality time with her. I don't see her often and find it hard to believe it's been FIVE YEARS since I was in the delivery room with her mother, reminding her to breath....*soft smile* So much has happened, I can't even imagine....
+++Final Thoughts+++
Ugh. Need to go and call Gainesville. Getting far too nervous and anxious to hear what's going on. Panicked that I'm going to cause too much trouble with all these changes and such and that they'll decide, "Nevermind, you're just not worth the hassle!" [[*panic*]] Seeing as it's 3:30pm and I called this morning at about 11am, it's definately time to call back. If there is no entry for awhile, then sorry, but I'm stuck in Gainesville and/or dedicated a lot of time to my cat and his wellbeing. Both are major priorities and both require my direct contact. (and both are no where near my friend's house with the cable modem access!)
Be well, thank you for your kind thoughts, and I'll post as able through these coming days....
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 6/20/2001 03:43:01 PM ~
~
