Fist off, I am currently freezing. Forgot how damn cold these office buildings can be. My hands are just numb.
Second, I am scared shitless of that trailer. It’s just evil and I spent literally about 2 hours on a horrible cell connection last night sobbing and crying because I was so scared. There’s no “logical” reason to be scared (unless you count being a small woman, alone, in a rickety old trailer, with a metal roof, in a horrible thunderstorm, in the middle of a field in the middle of unlit, literally barren land for miles and miles around dangerous?) but it doesn’t change the fact that the trailer is just evil.
Yes, it’s old and it’s icky and you can read up on that once I post the entry from last nigh, but for right now, I’m really stuck. I can not stay there in that trailer. I just can’t do it.
So…I talked to my boss this morning and told him that I love it here, love the company, am excited and want to make it work, but I was just TERRIFIED in that trailer and I really can't handle being in there. Told him I'm not used to being in the middle of nowhere like that and all I want to do is settle down and get my own place. I don't know how we can do that, but I really want to stay here but need to be out of that trailer to do it. I said I don't know if I can get an advance to pay the first month's rent or whatever, but whatever we can do I want to do because I am just too scared to be in there like that by myself.
He said he’d talk to the HR lady this morning and see what he can do. He said we certainly can't leave me terrified like that.
I'll let you know.
In the meantime….ugh…precarious. Everything is great, but again, one thing is horrible beyond belief. I just can not express the sheer, utter, and compete terror that place brings out in me. I think it’s haunted by some really pissed off spirits or something, but whatever it is, it does NOT want me there. (and I am more then happy to oblige and leave) This is the only thing that sucks about being 2 ½ hours away…I don’t know anyone, or have any place to stay.
I want to stay here. I like the company and all, but this trailer….*shudder* I just don’t know what to do…
Zzz…..damn, a night of panic, tears, and stress really puts a damper on ya. I’m so sleepy I could just pass out here in my cubie. The cold doesn’t help – makes me want to doze even more. (mmm…cuddling up under a warm, fuzzy blanket….)
Anyway, better run. More as I can.
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 6/27/2001 11:01:56 AM ~
~
