given.eyes.to.see dot com | the ever changing status of m v6.0: spring in bloom

Let's see...had problems with my bank (well, credit union technically) today since my car payment is two payments behind. (anyone wanting to donate towards my return from the realm of all things non-broke ass poor can click the happy little button below)

...anyway....basically, what they were saying was I couldn't use my check card, access the ATM, or withdraw any of the money in my checking account since the loan is past due. Hello the few bucks in the checking account was all the money I had in the world and now I couldn't even access that. Forget those pesky things like gas or food, nah....let's just freeze her account since she obviously has all this money to spare. *brillant isn't it?*

After talking to them on the phone for almost an hour, they told me that if I wanted to drive to the branch office (mind you the nearest one is back where I used to live almost 30 miles one-way away), that I could make a withdrawl of the fund there. So, that's what I did. Hopping in my delinquant loan car and drove my happy ass to get the last of my money (a whopping $60). I get there, it's slammed busy, so I wait in the huge line. I tell the teller that I want to make a withdrawl, and she starts off the same way the damned lady on the phone did..."Are you aware that you're delinquent on your Ford Mustang loan?" It's at this point, I just want to say something like, "Oh really? I didn't know you guys kept track if I paid or not." Of COURSE I know I'm behind - I haven't paid it in two months, I think I'm aware of this obvious fact. *rolleyes* So, I say, "yes....I know....but...." and tell them what happened on the phone and how I drove all the way down there and now I need my money. Oh no, can't be that simple. There's no notation on my account that such a discussion took place and so I have to go sit and wait for a customer service rep to be available so they can look into the matter. By this point, I'm on the verge of tears - so damned frustrated and panicked that I'm going to be stuck with nothing but the $7 I had left in my wallet along with the half-tank of gas in my car. The member services lady calls me a few minutes later, and I, in full tears at this point, rattle off the WHOLE thing again. She gently tells me to take a deep breath and she'll call to the main office and talk to the manager in charge of collections. As I sit and recoup, she makes a quick connection with the woman, confirms what I said all along and then escorts me back to the teller line and confirms they can override the block on my account and give me the money.

*Whew* That was a close one.

Of course, the bad thing is they gave me the dreaded "R" word - reposession - when on the phone today. Eek! If I don't make a payment (of oh....$275) before June 21st, they're taking my baby car away. It was one of the reasons I was crying in the branch today - just too overwhelming of events and bad news. I've NEVER been this desperate before and it terrifies me. I've been doing everything I can, running in every direction any interested company is leading me, and yet all I've got to show for it is a lot of wasted time, wasted gas, and more waiting then I can account for. After all of it, I've got no hot leads and I'm stuck back at square one... On the brighter side, apparently the local Carraba's is hiring.....*sigh* Never done anything like wait tables before, but right now, I'm in no room to be picky...

So, anyone interested in clicking that "donate" button yet?

As a reward for all of those masses (yeah right!) who are kind enough to read and follow my ramblings and journal, I would like to present a collection of webcam shots from my sister's computer which I uploaded here tonight. Some are daytime, lighter shots, some of them are me trying to be dark and spooky (hee hee), and the rest are me candid or goofy Don't say I never do anything nice, 'cause there ya go! *laughs*

Ok, now that I'm done pleading (think donation....think donation....) and showing off, I'm going to go. My poor friend is bored watching me type this out. ;) Take care, and don't forget to leave me Feedback! I miss everyone's comments! (link's in the left-hand column)
Ta,
-m

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 6/8/2001 10:23:53 PM ~ ~

Like I need news like this....

Finally got the call today from the company I've been courting about a job since May 15th and it came back negative. They ended up - after three interviews, more then a dozen phone calls, several emails, and almost a month of waiting - selecting the other candidate. The only possible thing that might make it not a disaster is that they just opened a new position in the same company, same location, different division and different boss. But....I'm not getting my hopes up. Looks like we're back to square one.

*sigh*

Make matters worse, I get to bed late last night - like 4:30am - and, my cell phone rang several times in the morning, waking me up from already broken sleep. It rings again, and this time I see it's my sister's home number. Remember, I LIVE at my sister's right now. I get out of bed, shuffle to the door and say, "Yes?" Turns out that yesterday afternoon the company called me and left a message. My sister was on the phone with my mother and remembers she never relayed the message. This prompts my mother to insist that my sister wake me that INSTANT to give me the message.

Which leads me back to the ringing phone. So, tired, groggy, and pissed, I tell her that not only did I speak to them ONCE yesterday, but TWICE. As I told my mom several times, they have my cell phone number and they actively call me on it. Which is what they did yesterday and thus, the need to wake me up was non-existant.

I was just pissed. It's just the latest in the continual agravating process of "Let's run her life for her" my family has undertaken. Grrr....I'm so sick and tired of everyone assuming that I need them to tell me what to do. Guess what? I don't. It's MY life. Of everyone, I'm the only one who knows what's REALLY going on since (guess what?) I'm the one LIVING it. There's a difference between being supportive and helpful and trying to run my life. My friends do the former. My family does the latter. It's the damned curse of being the "baby" of the family. My mom can't get past the fact that that does NOT make me perpetually twelve.

*sigh again*

So....when I got the call today, it was crushing. Simply wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I'm sure once I get home, I'll be doing some of that anyway. I tell my sister that I finally got the call and that they chose the other candidate and she says to me with scorn (because as a Bartender/Cocktail waitress for over 18 years, she doesn't know how Office/Corporate jobs work) "So are you going to get ANY job now or wait another month for them to call you for an interview?"

How cold is that? I'm trying my best to not sob and I'm getting scolded by my sister (who, I might add, just quit her job). Fucking nice, isn't it? Needless to say, this was just information I did not need today, nor the attitude. I'm so sick of being there I can't even begin go tell the extent of it. It's so horrible when you not only lose everything in your life, but also have to deal with a continual onslaught of insult from those who are supposed to be your family...

Anyway, it's getting late and I'm not getting anything productive done. Just another peg on the ladder of hell. More as I can get online...

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 6/6/2001 11:24:20 PM ~ ~

FUCK.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

DAMN YOU DEVILS! DAMN YOU BACK TO THE HELL THAT IS NEW JERSEY.

less then two minutes left and the damned devils score. 4-1.

Ok, I'm officially pissed at this point and I'm going to go pout.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 6/4/2001 10:57:07 PM ~ ~

Third period....time's ticking....tick, tick, tick....half the period's over and it's a battle, but one that's not getting anywhere for the Avalanche...

*bites nails*

tick....tick....tick...

*whispers*
come on boys....you can do it....

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 6/4/2001 10:38:34 PM ~ ~

uuugh.....this is turning out to be a painful game. Since when can't Colorado do something as simple as pass the puck?? Or, hell, hold on to it when already in posession of it?? I've never seen such a quality team have such a hard damn time do such simple things. At what point do you just want to yell out Come on guys, get it together!!?

Second period over. Twenty minutes of play left. Devils up 3-1. Grrr.....what a depressing game so far. Who forgot to notify the team they were playing tonight? Obviously the memo go lost somewhere because damn, they're just not playing.

*sigh*

Let's hope for a better third period.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 6/4/2001 10:02:57 PM ~ ~

Just a brief quickie update (at least until intermission on Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals!) to show off a few pics I took on my sister's webcam today...I got mail!

. . . a n d . . .

The ever cool Orb sent out a 56K modem for me. Yeah! So....one item down, just a phone jack, a second line, and an ISP before my computer can be online again. (*sigh*) But! It's something I didn't even have and it's a very nice start. Thanks dear!

Aside from that...still waiting to hear about the job. They didn't call me today, so hopefully they will tomorrow. He said either way Monday or first thing Tuesday he's call me. *fingers crossed* I need this BAD.

More later - distracted, watching Hockey. (GO AVES!)

hu? WHOO HOOO!!! GOAL!!!!! YES!!!!! Ok, this time for real. Game's calling. Ta!

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 6/4/2001 08:36:54 PM ~ ~