Went to change my mood indicator and I had a moment of kismet where the word I picked matched the feelings I feel exactly...

Bemused
..perplexed by many conflicting situations or statements; filled with bewilderment...

This is, myself at this time in a nutshell...


*sighs and stares at nothing some more*

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 7/20/2001 07:57:02 PM ~ ~

Yeah, yeah...no new entry in days.

It's just that there's not much going on that I feel like commiting to the journal. This week has been annoying on the homefront side - my mom and sister continue to harrass me on a daily basis about things that are (quite frankly) none of their fucking buisness. It's truly agravating when peons try to run the kingdom...they simply can not undertand my life or what it entails. They think on such small and meager terms that they can not see the picture as I see it...therefore they can not understand how it is that I operate. To them, it's simply a matter of why do I not submit to their will and take a job they deem worthy...they fail to see that grueling physical labor is beyond my physical body's ability but rather see me employeed and with torn muscles, the unemployed and healthy. In this, their sense of right and wrong are so deeply corrupted to the core I can not tolerate even listening to them any longer...

*sigh*

And you wonder why I do not post in days...it is things like this that fill my days...

On a brigher note, I continue to see small improvements in my non-mundane awareness and that pleases me. Even though there is not much I am activly "learning" just focusing on being Aware and maintaining positive strides forward, things are just more "there" for me...it's definatly encouraging...additionally, I slept WONDERFULLY the last two nights for the first time in years...it's just so splendid to wake up and feel like sleep was a useful thing instead of a bitter thing...

Anyway, that's the long and short of it. So sayeth M.
G'night all...more as it becomes interesting...

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 7/20/2001 01:52:43 AM ~ ~

It's official. I'm a red head.

Well....that is if you count burgandy as red and dammit, I do! *lol* So, I did it. Bought some PERM dye and made my hair the color that I temp dyed it last time. I did it all by myself. But MAN the perm stuff SMELLS! The temp stuff didn't have any scent, but...whew! the perm was nasty. And, oh, the 25 minute wait! Seemed like forever.

But! It's done. And it looks like it worked! (it's now dark out and there's not really enough light to truly see it, but enough to get an idea.) So...using my sister's webcam, I snapped a shot. The color is weird since the webcam has color problems, but it's a look anyway!



Hee hee! I'm a red head!

*giggles and giggles some more*

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 7/15/2001 08:47:36 PM ~ ~