Ugh. My head hurts. I feel ugly. My cam is on but I think people will be just laughing at me today for looking so nasty. I feel stupid. I feel used. I feel worn out. I feel like I'm missing the big picture. I feel like everyone's plotting something behind my back that will just fuck my life. I feel like I'm everyone's toy. I feel like I'm just a big, stupid failure. I feel like everyone's just using me since I'm here and easy to be used. I feel like a doormat. I feel like crying. I feel like running away. I feel like sleeping for days. I feel like running away from the world. I feel like pretending I'm not me and never was me. I feel like everything's just off. I feel like everything's just wrong. I feel like everything's just weird. I feel almost nothing but when I do it just hurts. I feel like all I can feel is hurt. I feel like the bad guys always win in the end. I feel like the odds are always going to be stacked against me. I feel like it's just all a big pile of shit.


I don't know what I feel. I just know that today none of it is happy.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 1/15/2002 11:30:49 AM ~ ~