I don't really have anything to write about that I feel is worth sharing, but I feel the need to write nonetheless. Having girl problems again - either my body's gotten too used to my Pill, it's not working anymore, or my body really just hates me, but damn if I'm not sick and tired of being in pain from cramps and backpain. Not to mention being sick of it being that time of the month over and over without end. (three times in a row now and I'm WAY over it) My insurance started February 1st which is good, but I hate the GYN so much I don't know if I can make myself go in before my next anual is due (in August). It's just hell for me - one of those phobias that override your better, more rational judgement.
I'm also taking way too many painkillers now I've noticed...I keep a bottle of assorted pain relievers (over the counter shit like Excedrin, Advil, Aleve, etc) that I had to refill last weekend. Today, I'm down to like one thing of excedrin left after having to take more advil today just to try to make it through these cramps. It worries me because when I was in the hospital my liver enzimes were too high. There was no other reason they could find other then a minor overdose so to speak of painkillers. Normally, it's not a problem if you don't drink a lot - which, I don't drink at all - but apparently, I may just be too sensitive to it and/or have to take so many that it's past my body's safety limit. Oh yeah, another thing to worry about. *sighs*
I've not been feeling me lately either. Started a rambling thread about it on a message board, but I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or what. It just feels like something is wrong with the universe and it's causing me to get so outta center. Like, there's some change going on in the core basis of the way the universe is which leads me to be off balance which leads my body to start failing in these weird ways. Yeah, yeah...sounds crazy, but I'm very connected normally to Nature and such and right now, it's like it's so far away... The thing is that my friend is feeling bad/wrong/sick in the same sorts of ways that I am and so I fear there's more to this then what it seems.
Rainy days make me quite and withdrawn and I worry that there's more rainy days to come. For the first time I think I might actually miss the sun.
Anyway, I need to end my lunch now and get back to work.
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 2/7/2002 01:19:08 PM ~
~
