Just got a letter from Time Warner stating that "upon research" determined I still had a past due amount of $196.07 due from previous service (the cable at my old apartment April of 2001) and that unless it's paid within ten days of this letter my current service will be dissconnected. Arg. At the time I called to order new service I did in fact have the $200 to pay them but they acted like I didn't owe it and I certainly wasn't going to tell them about it if I didn't have to. I used that money to do things like pay for drinkdeeplyanddream.com and the hosting and such. Money much better spent on services and such for all.
I didn't know two months later they'd come tracking me down for it and that I would be in a position of having no income for the same amount of time and be behind on my current account's bill and ALSO be forced to pay this extra $200 as well. Oh yeah, I'm screwed. This SUCKS. Just another thing to fucking kick me when I'm down. How the fuck does this all happen this way? I mean, do people get together and plan to have all the bad shit happen to me all at once just for fun? Like, little committes that dance around and plot my spiral into fucking madness from it all?
Yeah, call me melodramatic if you want, but just read through my journal dating back from when it first started a year and a half ago...look at the sheer number of just horrible things that has happened to me time after time after time. The way I've had to just struggle over and over and just when one things looks like I might be allowed to get my head above water, another flood of bad shit comes pouring down over me.
I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. Everything right now needs ten other things to happen before I can accomplish any one of them. Like I need several hundred bucks to get car insurance before I can renew my expired registration before I can actually USE my car without threat of losing my license (again!). Or, needing to pay $70 x2 months plus $196.07 just to keep my cable and internet on so I can email resumes so I can get a job so I can pay my bills.
I just don't know what to do anymore. If I can't send out resumes and I can't search the net then I can't get a job and I can't pay my bills til I get a job. (Let's not even talk about the fact that we only have my Love's cell phone as our only telephone and we're past due on that bill as well meaning pretty soon we'll have no phone nor email for anyone to contact me even if they were intersted in meeting with me for a job.) Fuck.
I'd go buy a gun but I don't even have enough money for that. *fuck*
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 6/6/2002 02:52:32 PM ~
~
