Let's see...update since the the other day when I wrote the last entry...
Austyn: how far downhill have things gotten since you lost net?
arg. well....today the car payment is due - I had to borrow money for it (and I don't know how I'll make the $70 additional due by the 30th)
Power bill was due two days ago - they're scheduled to turn it off. We're trying to borrow more money to prevent that.
Lost the phone - the cell is our only phone - but made a partial payment so it's back on for another week or so.
Obviously the cable and net (we get zero channels now)
And my storage unit will forclose and make me lose everything I own at the end of the month. (it hasn't already because my mom pawned jewerly to pay $150 of the past due)
Austyn: Any leads on employment?
Only ONE job interview and they didn't even call me back AND I've not gotten a single unemployment check yet despite filing in April. and calling them four times I've got seven weeks backlogged claims and they're still trying to decide if I can have the money or not. (gee thanks guys, not like I needed the money or anything)
That's the sum.
I've been in such a funk... (as you can tell) It's like I try to be optimistic and I try to think that good things will come, but damn it's hard. And then my Love's Grandfather is in the hospital again - Wednesday he went into the ER and almost died - and it's really hard on the whole family. Everyone's known he was going, but now it's really real and looks like it won't be much longer. My Love is really torn up about it - his grandfather is like an idol; a role model for him - and his mother is on the verge of losing it. What's got them even more upset is that he requested a DNR (Do Not Resistate) meaning if he flatlines, they will not revive him; just make him comfortable. So it's kinda the end of the line. To be honest, I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to prolong being in pain either. It's just a lot harder for the family to understand that then it is for him to. He can see it from a point of view they can't. And they hurt because they just don't want to be without him. It's so weird from where I stand. I can see all their sides at once and yet I am also very removed from it. I guess I have to say I don't really understand death. I mean I know what it is and I have my ideas on what comes after and such, but I've never really had it in my life. It both scares me (for others, not so much for myself) and facinates me all in one. Being mediumistic about it most likely confuses matters more.
The point is though that everyone's really upset and it's just another thing that sucks. I hate to see my Love and his family in pain like that.
Hrm. Well, I need to get going. Still have things to do before I leave and I'm running low on time. More probably next week sometime (though not sure when since my friend will be traveling for business next week and therefore won't be here for me to use his pc).
Be well all and thank you for the kind thoughts sent my way...
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 6/21/2002 03:31:42 PM ~
~
