Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle, it'll up the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
We had a really long, in depth talk this evening about life and pain and conformity and the death of soul. There's a large portion of the convo up on my half of MD right now. It's worth reading I think but here's some of it as well...
me:ever start to question at what point is it that someone crosses that line? Like when exactly is the boundry to crazy?
(and then panic that not only are you rushing headlong to it, but you actually passed it a long time ago?) ...or you ever feel like you just want to stop? like just stop? People keep thinking that I mean to kill myself but it's not that. I just want to step off the track and say no more. I'm not playing anymore. I give up. I hate the rules and I don't understand them and I don't want to play the game anymore and just wander off instead...
chris: I have done that
me: how?
chris: I just dropped out of the world
and lived on the internet for about 6 months
I would wake up at 3 pm and stay online till about 8 am
me: but see, I don't know how to live. eat. roof.
without being part of their fucking game.
I hate it.
I hate their game and their rules and all of it. it's so fucked.
chris:and the rules change all the time
-----
chris: I just keep swinging and fighting cause that's all I know how to do
I'm a warrior remember ;-)
you're the thinker, I'm the fighter
me people are branded for being a thinker or a dreamer....they're dismissed as useless and flighty when they're the soul of life reminding - screaming! - that there's MORE...but no one listens.
chris: I just live the fight, any fight, as long as I believe in what I"m fighting for
me I'm the dreamer. I'm the thinker. I'm the believer. I hope. but it gets harder all the time....I just don't think the way they do and it's killing me chris, it's just killing that what's inside me.
me I'm not just words on a resume or jobs I've worked or skills I posess or dates and bosses opinions
chris: no, your the thinker
me I'm not black and white and I don't fit this peg but I keep getting cut up into smaller and smaller pieces so I will....
chris: you come up with the ideas that people like me fight for
me but no one wants ideas anymore......
chris: no they don't.
Anyway, things are bad. There's real chance of missing my deadline of rent tomorrow because there continue to be problems in the accounting office of Chris' company. It's not his fault at all, but it's down to the line you know? Down to the moment that I don't know if I can fix this; if I can pull this one out of my ass. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm selling my soul to corporate america and the "way things are supposed to be" (bullshit) just to try to feed myself and keep a roof over my head. I feel like I'm being punished for having a thought of something different; something better. How dare I dream of happiness when I should know my place in the world and simply conform like I'm supposed to....?
And I'm sick of it all. Disgusted. But I don't know how to survive and I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't.
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 7/17/2002 12:01:55 AM ~
~
