So I'm trying to catch up on some of my blog reading that I don't get to do often enough to keep current with all my friends when I meander over to Alexis' site. She mentions how she feels like she's drowning and life just keeps piling it on, dragging her deeper each day. Gods, I know the feeling. That's so wrong you know? I sat there, reading her post a couple times over, just feeling her pain, frustration, and just weight of it all and I swear, it could have been written by me. I think of all this vibrant, creative people just dying a little each day from the sheer, crushing, destruction of the world - the way it's so broken that we walk across fields of shattered glass each day and fail to even notice anymore the way we hurt from it. The way it's so ruined and wrong that we bleed for them, for it, for the people who control us - all the while proclaiming ourselves free and liberated people. The way it chokes us with it's bare hands, laughing as we gasp and struggle - all the while we convince ourselves that it's the way life is supposed to be and that we just have to "deal" with it.

But that's so wrong....

And it shouldn't be this way. We let ourselves live like unwanted cattle being slowly herded towards the slaughter and we call it life. And I try to think of something nice to say to her, to try to tell her that she's not alone in seeing the world the way it's been ruined, and I can't say it. I just keep stammering and babbling and I can't find in myself the hollow, empty words to tell her it will be alright. Because it's NEVER alright, it's just that we let ourselves believe sometimes that's it's not so bad. I don't know. I don't know what the point of this entry is just that I felt I had to say SOMETHING; I had to get it out in some way.

It's not just you, Alexis...the world really IS this broken and we suffer the pain of it while a select few watch and laugh as they pull our puppet strings. We've all been taught to believe we're real but we're not - we're Ponoccio dreaming of being real. And I don't know what's sadder...the fact we are just puppets, or the fact we convince ourselves we're not.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 7/26/2002 03:00:03 PM ~ ~