Well, I just got off the phone with my mom. She's confirmed for priority standby for a flight about 7:30am tomorrow. She and my grandmother are going up together. We don't know when they'll be back yet, they'll be flying back standby too, taking it as it goes, based on how her sister fares. I'm just so worried about my mom and grandmother. I just worry about how this will their health. My nanny (what we call my grandmother) is 87 years old and has had some health problems of her own and my mother suffers from a degenerative disease for which she is disabled and she has good and bad days. I worry that this climate change and the stress and pushing herself too much will get her sick as well. She's already been not well today, running a fever, and now she'll be sleeping all of about 4 1/2 hours before having to leave for NY. I worry that she will run herself ragged through this whole thing. At least, when they were driving, I could be with her and make her rest and take care of herself too. This whole thing is so stressful.
No parent wants to outlive their child and here, my nanny's ready to lose her first born. It's just...a lot. It's weird I guess, because I don't feel so bad about the fact my aunt is dying (honestly, she's been a in a lot of pain and I don't see death as a bad thing; I think it's good she won't be suffering the way she has been all these months) but I do worry and feel bad over how much it will hurt the rest of the family. My mother's father came over from Greece when he was a boy - through Ellis Island and everything. His legacy is seen in his six children, all us grandchildren, great-grandchildren and even a great-great grandchild. My Nanny raised the my mom and her siblings and kept up their business after he was killed some forty years ago in a car accident. It's pretty amazing when you stop and think about what he did coming from nothing and making everything for him and the family that's lasted so long.
I guess I'm just reminicing now. Thinking of my family and trying to imagine how this will leave a hole in it where there wasn't one before. So I'll hear from her tomorrow after she gets there and learns first hand what's going on. Until then, it's waiting. I just wish I could be there more for my mom. This is going to be so hard for them all.
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 11/24/2002 12:43:57 AM ~
~
