Do you know that I've logged in over a DOZEN fucking times today in an attempt to get this damned thing published but EVERY SINGLE TIME IT SAYS UNAVAILABLE.
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
Dammit, I need to be able to write when I feel like writing, not just whever the fuck it lets me. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
This sucks. Bloggers' servers are under too much load and so will only allow publishing every other 5 minutes. Hello?? What the hell kind of solution is that? And, who's timing these five minutes? Everytime I've tried to post an entry, it's the "no publishing" five minutes. Why not disallow new users or something? Don't punish those of us who have been users for over a year! Grr. My Journal is something that I write in when I can - not when they let me. Especially being stuck offline from home, there's not a lot of time for me to get around to doing this. So when I do, dammit, I want it to work. *sighs* Like I need another hinderance to being able to express myself. You know how much goes unsaid as it is simply because I don't have access to write it all down? Blah, this bites.
For anyone wondering, the webcam is up again from work today, so feel free to peek in on me until about 5-5:30pm Eastern Standard Time.
There was more I think I was going to say (gripes about my fucking vet and how they just submitted a $130 check I wrote back in July, causing me to not have enough money for the rent check I already wrote on Friday to clear and how my friend Rand had to give us a check just to cover us until payday on Friday and how much that just fucking sucks and I'm on a campaign to fucking ruin them for the shit they've put me through for over 6 months now including submitting checks on wrong days, causing me to have all sorts of fees, saying they'll credit me for their error and then not only don't but instead charge me MORE fees for having NSF to start with! GRRR! It's why my mood was "pissed" all day yesterday. Just shit I didn't need)
Anyway, I'm going to get back to work. I'll try to log out then back in to try to get this thing published. Damn poop. If not, I guess you'll read it whenever I have another chance to get online and publish this. *sighs again*
Been playing too much Disney Dance Dance Revolution Mix all weekend. It's stupidly addictive. It's also a shit load of fun. (and, is probably the first time I've ever gotten up and "danced" in front of people before). On the "Mickey Mouse March: Eurobeat Version" I actually got a score of AAA: Perfect with a max combo of 126! I rock! Sure, it's only a two-star song, but dammit, that was groovy. I've also gotten A's and AA's on three and four star ones. (like Higher and Summer Love) Some of the others are simply psycho and I don't know that I'll ever be good at it.
It's a cold and annoyingly rainy day today. Been that way for a bit now. I like it cold and cool and all, but damn do I hate rainy cold days. Ugh. It's just so miserable. Not to mention the driving sucks as does the visability. Bleck.
Still feeling really...out of it, I guess. Just sorta off and I'm not sure why. Didn't even bother bringing in my webcam because I honestly just didn't feel up to it; the transporting, setting up, and having it watch me all day. Not like it's huge or hard to plug in (one USB for crying out loud) but I felt like it was too much for me. A lot of things are feeing like they're too much for me and it sucks because there isn't really anything that IS. *sighs* It just seems that there's all these things that are bugging me that aren't really a problem. ANd then I wonder why I am getting so bothered over such silly, little things. I mean, there's still BIGGER issues in my life that I should be focusing on and if I'm going to worry about something, it might as well be something that's actually scary, but instead, I just sorta drift along, pretending everything's alright, wondering what little thing is going to set me off next. I keep feeling like it's nothing or crying and I can't give into crying, so it's nothing. A fake smile, laugh, sense of humor I'm just not really feeling right now. In a stupid way, maybe it's why I've been enjoying DDR so much the last couple days: You can't think about it to do it right. It's one of those weird Zen-type things where the more you focus on it, the more you'll screw up. When you just let your mind drift, your feet just move. I don't know - I mean, it's not like this is the way to enlightenment, just something to distract me a bit.
Anyway, I need to get back to work. I have SO much to do today and the day is just slipping right past me.
Take the animal crackers test. A freak of nature you are but also very unique you can do what no others are able to do. So be proud and don't hide your differences
