Sleep - the final frontier Slept in this morning. Actually, was woken up early by the cell phone, watched X-Men Evolution (good cartoon), and then went back to sleep. My Love was kind enough to indulge me another two hours despite telling him to wake me up after one. *gotta love him!* Still feeling sore and out of it, but the antibiotics I think are finally starting to help so that's a damn good thing.
Spiderman can do all the things a spider can Got together with our friend Rand and headed out to see Spiderman today. Got to the theater about 40 minutes from showtime and they were already out of seats. So, we took the following show - an hour and a half away - and meandered about the shopping center. We decided we had better get back and sure enough, an hour still outside of the start time, the line had already formed. Luckily enough, we weren't far back into it and got excellent seats. I really enjoyed the movie. Tobey Maguire was really really good as Peter Parker/Spiderman; very believable. Sam Rami did a great job keeping the pace fast and not letting it get dull or boring. The story was good, the characters were good, and it was definately entertaining. I highly enjoyed it (yeah for a movie I like!) and definately recommend it.
Geek dreams My friend Rand also had a surprise for me when he came over - a 1gig processor and motherboard to support it. WHOOO HOOOO! Can you say good-bye overclocked athlon 375mhz? YEAH I sure as hell can! I'll have a pc with some actual processing power now, can you imagine? I'm so giddy. Only problem is that I don't think my case has enough juice to support it. Arg. So I might need a new case with a larger power supply. Poop. Which, with no job, means that lovely processor will be sitting in a box for awhile. *sigh* How frustrating. My Love's gonna take my pc apart tonight to see if he can get it to work, so if I do not post any further today you know why.
Countdown continues 12 days and counting 'til my birthday. *pouts* There is so much stuff that I want for my birthday and very little I expect to receive considering our tenous financial status. It's always right around holidays that it seems we are the most poor. Still need to pay the Time Warner bill (the one that keeps my cable and internet on) soon or risk losing it already and that just bites. I have all these ideas for things I want to do with my new domain and all but the depression of no money sorta, well, shadows the artistic attempts. Have the time to work, but not the desire and when I have the desire, I don't have the time. Moo. I wish I just could get by without the need for the whole corporate gig. Gods, I hate corporate bullshit. There's never room for a creative person like me.
Still looking And yes, I AM still looking for a job. None yet - no real bites even. Arg. Well, I am going to do a one-day MIS consulting for a friend's local office (thanks again!) which will bring in a few bucks. Of course, I'm utterly paranoid of looking like a fool. I mean, I know a lot of things about computers and computer use and computer maintance, but it's not like I've ever had someone recommend me as an independant consulatant before; nor have I ever come into a company just for a day to "fix" their problems. Hrm. It's...daunting I guess. And I worry someone will ask me something thinking I'm some MCSE and I'll just blink at them stupidly. (yeah, yeah, I have insecurity issues or something). Seriously though, things aren't good. All the money spent (everything I had saved up) on Kush's surgery didn't help (but, on the good side, Kush is doing really well *smile*)
Food, glorious food Ok, dinner FINALLY smells like it's almost ready (at 10pm) so I'm going to close here. Um yeah. Ok. Ta.
Ok, going to sleep now. mmm...sleep. Yeah for antibiotics and various assorted painkillers. I finally feel like I don't want to just die to escape the pain. I consider this vast improvement. Enough so that I can finally sleep.
I utterly and compeltely hate doctors. It's nothing to them if you're writhering, crying, trembling in pain for hours while you wait and wait and wait for them to return your call. I woke up this morning to the joys of a UTI - that horrid pain that gripes like a vice and will not in any inch give until you start to take the needed antibiotics to cure the infection. It's a random strike, it happens to the far majority of women throughout their lives and is as unpredicable as it is unavoidable. So, when I've tried the long hours of this day to reach my doctor to please have him call in the needed antibiotic, being faced with nothing but voicemails and answering services who would not call me back, I wept. And then called my mother. (Aren't mothers always there?) My Love was unreachable at the last day of his conference, my friends not answering their phones, and I was desperate. Amazingly, my father-inlaw got the doctor to call back in minutes and the prescription is finally in processing and should be ready the next hour to hour and a half. Gods, from 10am this morning, all this time in horrid, useless pain until he finally was able to accomplish this seemingly simple task.
So, that's me today. Sick, trembling, and in pain.
Ugh. Please tell me the sicko who found me based on these searches wasn't a sicko and that they were just doing some research project or something. *shudder*
02 May, Thu, 18:30:43 Google: mom strangling baby pics 02 May, Thu, 19:05:31 Yahoo: pretty+young+girls+stabbed
Yeah! It's up! So now I can officially announce it. I noticed I had about $15 laying around in my PayPal account that really wasn't making any difference in my life either way. I've been really anxious about wanting my own site that's for me - DDD has never been for me, it's for everyone else. But I want something that's mine. So I finally decided to take the jump yesterday. I registered my personal domain name.
Eventually (hopefully soon), everything on the domain that's personal - including this journal - will move over there. That way, I have a space that's all for me. :) I'm so excited. There's literally nothing there yet - it just came up now - but I'm so giddy. Weeee!
Ugh. You know that whole I was so freakin' tired I was gonna drop yesterday 'cause I had al of like 2 /12 hours of sleep? Yeah, well I couldn't sleep. Ended up being so OVER tired that I finally got to bed like 4am. Bleck. And then, the phone rings at 9:30am - two times in a row (arg I HATE when people do that!) and I get out to get it on the 2nd time ringing. Turns out it's the vet's office wanting to see how Kush is doing. Which is lovely and all, but ARG...sleeping!
I have such a headache. I did go back to sleep but only for another two hours before the phone rang again. My Love's cell ring is SO shrill I can't help but hear it. I'm so tired. *pouts* I want to go back to bed. My head is miserable and damn I'm feeling beaten up ya know?
blah.
Kush is doing really well so far. I got up and he was starving, so I fed him and he chowed down. His pain meds must really be helpng 'cause he's walking around like normal almost; even jumping up on his kitty condo. (which is god, the vet said the more he moves around, the more he'll heal). It's exceptionally speedy recovery so far, especially in light of how extensive the tumors were again.
Thanks to everyone for their well wishes and thoughts. It means a lot.
Now, I'm going to go lay down a bit and try to feel better myself.
Ack! This bat pillow is so fucking cute! (okay look, I love bats. They're on my pc monitor, in my car, have bat wings, they're everywhere) These little bat pillows are TOO CUTE though. *pouts* You can get two for $25! I want a purple and a black. I mean Look how cute they are!
Oh I hate window shopping when there is not hope of actually buying. :(
Okay I know I said I was going to bed early (and I am!) but I just found this site and HAD to share it. Wow, such lovely things. Faerie Grove They have faerie wings, horns, ears, clothing and more. It's all the amazingly cool stuff you drool over at the Renn Faire but can't find anywhere else. And such a LOVELY site design. It's worth looking through even if you don't buy a pair of wings. (there's a couple pairs of horns I'm digging....)
So, shoo. Go check it out. Simply beautiful things. :)
Go forth and embrace the notion You Need More Time Off Ain't that the truth. This article is so dead on. Then again, I don't have that work-til-you-kill-yourself mentality. Fuck work. It's not worth half as much as Corporate America likes to think it is. My old boss had this HUGE issue with the idea that I might average a need for two days off in a month because don't ya know, that means I'll be off a whole month in a year. (of course, I didn't get a single paid day off: no vacation, no sick, no personal so damn me to hell for wanting time off). It's so fucked up. The whole mentality is shot to hell and I've never bought into it. Maybe it's the artsy in me; maybe it's laziness; maybe it's realization that a job is NOT your life and a job is just something that gets in the way of actually LIVING. *shrugs* Remind me not to put that part on my resume. (ha) By the way, he's really not kidding. In Europe, you really do get 1-3 months off PER YEAR for vacation.
Poor Little Kitty Fucking exhausted. Had to get Kush from the vet like 3:30pm today. But I got there like 5:30pm because I spent about TWO HOURS in the parking lot known as US Highway 19 (the ONLY major north-south route in the area). Apparently there were multiple accidents which required air-lift and therefore, two seperate places where traffic was shut down. There is no hell worse then being stuck - having not eaten anything and having slept all of 2 1/2 hours the night before - in traffic that just can't move. ARG. I felt so bad for the office staff too because they normally close at 5pm but had to be there until 6pm by the time we were done with everything. So, I drove 45 minutes up there this morning, 45minutes back, 2 1/2 hours up there again and 45 minutes back. (on two and a half hours of sleep and no food). Wonder why my head freaking hurts to hell? Or why I actually passed up a chance to go hang out with my Love (who's over at his work's convention again) despite not having seen him since yesterday because I'm just too tired?
When you're starved, but you can't even bring yourself to go out for food, you know you need rest. I'm going to stay up long enough for West Wing tonight and then that's it. I'm going to bed. Gods I need it. Poor Kush needs the rest too, he's stitched to hell and very much uncomfortable. Poor thing, I feel so bad. Probably it for now and until tomorrow so don't be surprised if I never come back from "away" on AIM. :) I'm really just not there tonight. Have a good one.
Well, I just called the vet and Kush-ka came through the sugery fine. He's awake and coming out of the anethesia nicely they said. The proceedure took a little longer then expected - there was more tumor then anticipated - but he's doing fine. That is such a relief. I actually was able to sleep these last couple hours which was great as well and now just need to go get him sometime after 3:30pm.
Poor thing won't like the 45 minute drive back, nor having to wear the bell-collar again (the kind so they can't lick at the wound) but the fact that he'll be alive to be unhappy is a good thing.
Well, he's there. And I'm home. Despite all the things I need to get done in that area which I was going to do today (like get my transmission fluid changed and pick up refills for the Pill) my three-odd hours of sleep last night just didn't cut it. (I will just have to get them done tomorrow instead) I'm going to lay down and try to get some sleep. Gods I hope I can. I need it. I can call to check on him at lunchtime and should be able to go pick him up about 3:30pm today. They are so nice there and he's got his own surgical tech assigned to him and only him today. I really have a lot of trust with this vet and the staff and I really feel he is in very good care.
I hope it's just the tiredness, but my stomach is in knots. It's churning at me. I know that I had to bring him in, but it's still surgery; it's still scary, and there's still risks. He's my kitty and he's been part of my life since I was 13 years old. Things like this make you nervous, ya know?
Anyway, I'm going to try to sleep some now. Pass the time and make myself feel better. More as I know it. Wish us luck and good heath.
Put Your Best Foot Forward First off, I think I've gone crazy. I really for no real reason mind you, am absolutely in love with these boots This is not something I ever tend to wear, nor am sure I have things to wear them with, not to mention I doubt I could seriously walk in them, but WOW. I actually REALL want to buy them. They are £ 81.5 or about $118.78 US Dollars. Sheesh! For shoes? But, man, I do not know what it is about them. They are just so....sexy. Think of all the cool shots I could get with them on cam. (size F5/black leather) I am so taken by them! lol You know....my birthday is coming up.... May 16th for those keeping track.... =D Yeah, so I have decided I need new clothes (besides all mine being so old they're literally in tatters, I have had a change in style and I want stuff that's sexy, girly, and attractive, not just stuff that covers my body. I think I'm finally in a place where I like my body and want to show it off) and that new clothes will make me happy. Guess new shoes go with that, hu?
On a Serious Note Kush-ka goes in tomorrow to have another tumor removed. This will be the second one he's had and it worries me to no end. At twelve, despite these sudden problems with the tumors, he is years younger in health. The vet's office actually called me to find out what was going on with making an appointment. I told them I want to - and need to, the tumor has gotten larger lately - but that I lost my job and didn't want to write them checks I knew weren't going to be cashable. They were so nice and basically told me to bring him in and we'd work out monthly payments to figure it out. They don't want me to kill my cat for lack of immediate funds basically. Such a load of my mind. He's so special to me and I've been SO stressed on what I could do in such a short amount of time to help him.
People think I'm crazy that I spent $1,000 last year to save his life and will do so again this year, but how can I not? How can I sit, do nothing, and watch my cat die slowly from cancer?
Anyway, he is my compagnion, my alarm clock, my ghost hunter (he sees them as much as I do!), my bug chaser, my legwarmer, and most of all, my friend. And friends deserve your support, love, and help.
An Early Morning So I need to be there like 8am tomorrow. This means at 12:45am, it's already really late for me. So I'm going to sign off for now and hopefully get some rest tonight. Wish us luck. This is so sudden, but I really think it's a good thing. I have a lot of faith and trust in his vet, so I'm hoping for nothing but the positive. I will be away from the pc most of tomorrow - his vet is 25 miles away from my apartment - so look for an update tomorrow evening.
Ugh. So by the time I got some trouble dealt with on my forum last night involving a nasty-assed pedaphile, banning user names, tracking IP's for which myself and the administration plan to submit to his ISP and federal authorities, closing topics and informing people on the situation, it was about 5am. Blah. I've normally already been going to bed around 4am and sleeping a nice eight hours til noon. But last night, I finally laid down at 5am, was woken up several times early this morning, and then once again for good measure by some construction outside (pound...pound....pound...pound) and then two phone calls. As it was, all I was trying to do was sleep until noon again anyway despite that not being my mandatory eight hours needed. And I couldn't even do that. Arg.
So, grumpy and groggy right now. Amazed I could get blogger to load so I figured I'd get an entry in while I can. (I keep getting the domain not found kinda errors so it's impossilbe for me to write an entry). Not like this rambling, half-asleep thing is really an entry, but ugh, I'm trying aren't I? It's hard to write interesting entries when you're day amounts to sit around the house during the day by yourself, surf the net, maybe get dressed, watch some tv with my Love in the evening, surf some more, stay up really late 'cause you can't sleep, repeat
Lovely.
Anyway, Joolo's supposed to be over. Have some errands to run hense the whole needing to be up thing. I think I might lay down til he gets here though. More later if I can. ta.
Seems it didn't post my entry last night despite hitting post and it saying it did. Grr. So, there is below. bah. damn no mouse attempt at surfin. grr.
1) my Love had to go help set up for his company's meeting this evening.
2) my trackball officially bit it and is dead. Fuck. How am I supposed to use a pc without a mouse that moves? Gods, if anyone really loves me and doesn't want me to have to use my graphic pen as my only means of moving a cursor, this is my trackball. (and yes, I use that one and that one specifically because normal mice kill my wrists) it's a whopping $30 which normally wouldn't be any big deal but right now there's no way I have it. shit. what am I supposed to do without a damned mouse?? ARG.
3) I drank too much wine in a fit of despare and now my head is startign to hurt. yeah, I don't normally drink - no, really, never - so three glasses, or about 3/4 a bottle in one evening is...a lot for me. ugh yeah. happy day tomorrow. (where's my water? better start now)
4) I HAVE NO DAMNED MOUSE. ARG ARG ARG.
*cries*
I'm going away now. my head hurts. (ps: it feels SO MUCH LATER then 2am. ugh)
So I found out today that in Florida you can file for unemployment online. Cool I think, I'll get on that. Arg. The thing is SO picky. I can't remeber every zip code for a place from a year ago. Sheesh. So after extensive tracking down of addresses and phone nubmers and such I finished the form. To be greeted by this friendly synopsis:
BY LAW, THE FIRST WEEK OF YOUR CLAIM IS A NON-PAYABLE WAITING WEEK: The next week ending on Saturday 5/11/2002 is your first payable week.
It normally takes 3 to 4 weeks after filing your new claim to get your first check
Wow thanks. I'll be sure to tell my landlord they need to just wait a little bit. Fuckin' a. Some birthday this is going to be.
Wow. Interesting day in journal land, hu? *lol* Yeah yeah, so I'm boring. Sue me. (actually, strike that; don't. I'm really broke)
Let's see....my Love went to his parents house this morning to help them tile their living room. Not that he knows how to tile floors or anything. His brother ended up doing all the actual know-what-you're-doing stuff, and my Love being the big, strong one of the family (no, really, his brother is like my height and weight and my Love is six feet and 190lbs) did the move and carry stuff around work. Needless to say, he was a bit tired at the end of the day. In the meantime, my friend Rand and I meandered out to Best Buy to look at stuff that I can't afford. (and to drool over MY DESK oh, it's so lovely oh and this lovely chair to go with it) We then went to the bookstore where I proceeded to spend an hour or so trying to find something 1)interesting 2)that I hadn't already read 3)more then 100 pages long. I read so many books so quickly that I just can't justify spending $6-8 on a book I'll have done by tomorrow. I also drooled at some lovely stationary/gift card sets that I'd love to send out through postcardx, but...having no job and no money I held off.
Came back, had some dinner and watched a couple dvd's. Wandered over to the pc and surfed and chatted a bit before deciding I should at lesat attempt an entry before heading to bed. So, here's my attempt. Pretty exciting hu? *not* ;) (so exciting that I got distracted looking at the best buy page and then wandering off somwhere else until I remembered I was supposed to be here writing an entry. Oh yeah. Hi, how ya doing?)
Blah. I think it's time for me to sleep. Yeah, I'm drifting in and out of paying attention anyway, making a ton of typos and my head is starting to hurt really bad again (damn migraines have been coming back this week with a vengence) so I'm gonna call it a night. Sorry if this made no sense. I'm not sure this entry even made sense to me and I wrote it. *shrugs* Night.
