Oh shit, I really am going to be losing my cable very quickly...
Just got a letter from Time Warner stating that "upon research" determined I still had a past due amount of $196.07 due from previous service (the cable at my old apartment April of 2001) and that unless it's paid within ten days of this letter my current service will be dissconnected. Arg. At the time I called to order new service I did in fact have the $200 to pay them but they acted like I didn't owe it and I certainly wasn't going to tell them about it if I didn't have to. I used that money to do things like pay for drinkdeeplyanddream.com and the hosting and such. Money much better spent on services and such for all.
I didn't know two months later they'd come tracking me down for it and that I would be in a position of having no income for the same amount of time and be behind on my current account's bill and ALSO be forced to pay this extra $200 as well. Oh yeah, I'm screwed. This SUCKS. Just another thing to fucking kick me when I'm down. How the fuck does this all happen this way? I mean, do people get together and plan to have all the bad shit happen to me all at once just for fun? Like, little committes that dance around and plot my spiral into fucking madness from it all?
Yeah, call me melodramatic if you want, but just read through my journal dating back from when it first started a year and a half ago...look at the sheer number of just horrible things that has happened to me time after time after time. The way I've had to just struggle over and over and just when one things looks like I might be allowed to get my head above water, another flood of bad shit comes pouring down over me.
I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. Everything right now needs ten other things to happen before I can accomplish any one of them. Like I need several hundred bucks to get car insurance before I can renew my expired registration before I can actually USE my car without threat of losing my license (again!). Or, needing to pay $70 x2 months plus $196.07 just to keep my cable and internet on so I can email resumes so I can get a job so I can pay my bills.
I just don't know what to do anymore. If I can't send out resumes and I can't search the net then I can't get a job and I can't pay my bills til I get a job. (Let's not even talk about the fact that we only have my Love's cell phone as our only telephone and we're past due on that bill as well meaning pretty soon we'll have no phone nor email for anyone to contact me even if they were intersted in meeting with me for a job.) Fuck.
I'd go buy a gun but I don't even have enough money for that. *fuck*
Well I cleaned up and organized my pc desk today. See, if you remember I got it for my birthday. But I've not gotten any shots up or even really added my stuff to it until today. So I took a pic! Check it out here See the desk and all the weird shit I have on it. hee hee
That's about it. Just thought I'd share. I love my new desk. It's so comfy and roomy and awesome. weeee
So the interview I thought went well yesterday. Seemed as though I cinched it. They're looking for someone who's a "catch-all" and can do just about anything. (which is me). We talked salary and he said my previous salary wasn't a problem (yeah! I was worried it would be like an $8/hour job *ick*) and they have vacation time, and holiday pay and health insurance and dental and all that lovely stuff. They're literally right down the road now but building a brand new facility about 10 miles or so away (still less then half the commute I was making before) and I met with the owner of the company - who's all of like 35. It's a young company with business casual dress and a laid back attitude and they're expanding into their third national office soon. (this is the headquarters here). They are a telecommunications company. It was a quick interview with very little questioning - more like "ok, I like what I see and it matches the resume" - and he said they'd call...
But now it's like a day later and I'm nervous 'cause I've not heard anything. What if I was wrong and they didn't like me? I mean we laughed and he complimented me and I totally got the "yes!" vibe from it all but *whimpers* Nothing yet. I'm nervous now. Damn I need to figure something out...still waiting to know whether or not I'm going to get my money from unemployment or not. (gotta love a system that you can file for help in April and it's June and not only have you not gotten a penny yet, but they're not telling you if you will or will not. ARG. If it weren't for my Love's income, I'd be fucking homeless by now. Nice to see how important this shit is to them!)
Blah. In other news, Chris is coming down this way for a training conference and we're chatting trying to plan a get together with him, me and my Love since he'll be so relativly close. (Come on, he's normally in Philly! lol) But of course, it's kinda something like this:
him: where do you guys wanna go out to eat? me: *shrugss* I dunno wherever him: what about doing this _____? me: *shrugs* Sure, whatever him: ok, or maybe this _____? me: Yeah that too or something.
LOL It's not going well. I think my indecivness is showing just a little. *giggles* I believe we left it at:
him: so we're just gonna play it by ear? me: yeah, sounds like a plan
hee hee.This should be cool though. Chris will get the dubious honors of being the first person I know online to meet me in person. *nods* Now, Orb was the first person I chatted with on the phone. All this in just several years of avoidance of people. I'm becoming so lax. (/sarcasm hee he) Digital camera will be in attendance so I'm sure you can look forward to a slew of pics.
Uh...beyond that not much is going on. My Love took off today to go with a friend for her sonogram. (the father's having nothing to do with her since she became pregnant and she wanted someone to go with her so my Love volunteered). I was right, it's a boy. (I just Knew it) There's some worry though because she apparently carries the gene for systic fibrosis and she now needs to go for a ton of tests to find out the impact on her baby and the risks of him developing it. Bleck. She's due right at Halloween (like Oct 27th or something).
Hrm..that's about it for now. I'll post as soon as I hear something either way about the job. *fingers crossed*
So I could talk about something relavant like my interview today but at the moment I'm all excited over this cool webcam in New York's Oswego State College. Yeah yeah, everyone has a webcam these days but this one you can actually CONTROL. Like zoom in or out, rotate around, pan up and down and all sorts of stuff. It's SO cool. A real-time, streaming cam you can manipulate from your pc. That's just fucking awesome. It's just so fun to watch people walk by and zoom in on them and then rotate the cam to follow them and er, I mean appreciate the scenery and uh, do anything but virtually stalk the peoples walking about. (*giggles*)
So go pick your browser and have fun. This is such a neat time waster. hee hee
*nervous* I didn't post yesterday after a plague of warnings that blogger is eating people's templates. Arg. I did download my entire achive as a back up but since I'm not seeing anything official either way (problems or a fix) I'm just going to go ahead and dive in and write an entry. Hopefully I won't have to resort to my backups.
Today was a productive day. I wake up to the sound of my mother calling my name. Apparently she and my sister decided to come down and help me get stuff done since I haven't been able to accomplish much on my own sans car or money. We first got my license reinstated - she forked over the $100 (not that she has it, she has very very little money since becoming disabled) - today so it was only out for about half a day. We then picked up the Mustang and drove up to the place I had a prepaid gift certificate for my transmission flush (it's needed this for like a year now). After that we got my oil changed - she had a free coupon wee! - which was another thing overdue and also got my tires rotated for me. We also managed to get in touch with the Unemployment office (I tried all day friday and only got busy signals) and the guy fixed the system so I can claim the other two weeks of May it wouldn't let me do before (kept telling me I had no more weeks available to claim) and that he'd try to expidite the final decision on whether or not I qualify to get my checks (they're being held up because of pending contact with my previous employer or something stupid). So I'll either end up with FOUR checks (since I've been waiting since April and gotten zero so far) pretty much at once or I'll get none. (the fuckers) Let's hope for option number one. I also got in touch with Kush-ka's vet and begged and pleaded with them to wait one more week before cashing my first payment check for his surgery. (it was supposed to be for deposit June 7th but without any income from me yet and $21 to our name after rent and power until NEXT Friday when my Love gets paid again, I can't cover a $120 check.) At first they wanted me to come all the way up there to resign all my paperwork but I told her I can't get up there in time since they were 5 minutes away from closing for the day (today) and tomorrow I'm in my interview. She finally relented and said they'd wait until June 14th. I stopped by the store for my mom on the way to dropping her back off at home and she bought me some deli sliced turkey, cheese and bread too so I've got a couple snadwhiches out of it (food is a good thing when you're poor).
All-in-all it was a good day. I felt really positive about all the stuff we got done and with the exception being the $100 for my drivers license, everything was done for nothing. Another good thing. As I dropped my mom off, she walks me out to my car to say bye and we end up in this like over an hour converstation about all sorts of stuff. I admit to her that I'm a medium and tell her I think I got it from her. Surprisingly enough she agrees with me and I learn a hell of a lot about my mom in that hour then I think I've learned in years. She hears and sees and just "knows" things the same way I do. We talked about her faith (christainity) and mine (a broad no specific path paganism) and how they are very alike yet unique but that the uniquiness is a good thing rather then a bad. I think I really impressed her because she just stood there, smiling at me with this look of like wonder at me. It was so great. She was so impressed by the things I pointed out to her and the way I think I finally made her undestand I'm not only happy in my faith, that it's right for me the way her faith is right for her. For the longest time, she would harrass me that I needed to be christain "just in case" and that offended me to no end - like my ideas weren't good enough for her. But today.....I think I really bridged a gap. It was so neat to see my mom so impressed with me. And once I started talking, I just couldn't stop - we just kept going and going. I admited I never talked to her about these things before because I never wanted to offend her religion but she said she understands there's more then just what's written in the Bible - that she believes in aliens and stuff that is just part of everything and it's in addition to her faith, not a hinderance to it. Like compagnion to her christainity. I felt so proud of my mom today and that's a rare thing for me. I've respected her for a lot of things but I don't know how often I've honestly felt proud of her. I think we've both grown a lot and by sharing this with her it's helped us both. She even wants to meet my friend the witch and is open to meeting with healers or homopathic healers as well for her disease - something I've always wanted to offer to help her find but never knew how to mention it. She even told me today how frustrating it is for her because she just feels in her bones that she should be able to heal herself and eject the disease from her body - but just lacks the knowhow. It was just a stunning, awe-inspiring discussion. To be utterly blunt I never thought my mom even thought about such things let alone had a grasp on some of the concepts...like she doesn't have the terminology for it, but it's there to a pretty neat degree. And that's just amazing.
*breaths*
Anyway, I just never expected to have a converstation about anything even remotely like this with her. Ever. I never thought it possible. And that's just mind-blowing. Both of us have changed in some way and somehow I think we speak the same language for like the first time ever and it's an awesome feeling. (as I tear up as I write this).
Tomorow is my interview (11:45am) which is really close by and late enough I don't have to wake up too early. (weeee) I've decided to pretty much take it no matter what if they offer it (even if it's like a lame ass $8/hour or something) because right now, it's money and I need something. I'll just continue to send out applications if it's something I only want to do in the short term. Just need something, anything to get some income back in. (although, bleck, I am so not looking forward to a rigid schedule again...blah. There's something to be said for staying up til 5am and sleeping til 1pm LOL)
Alright, rambled on a bit. I think I'll check up on some stuff and then call it a night. Wish me luck.
So It Sounded Like a Good Idea at the Time.. It's a food festival. A big deal. Benefits All Children's Hospital. We're thinking, food and getting out and for a good cause. What we weren't thinking was 100 fucking degrees outside, a barren field with no trees or shade, and that there was no breeze coming in off the Bay. Then add in a ton of booths with portable ovens and you get hell. No, really, hell. It was so hot I got sick to my stomach in minutes and couldn't actually eat - which is the whole point. Blah. My Love was trying to sweat off every drop of water in his body and despite wearing a hat and 45spf my face crisped.
Yeah we manged to be there all of like 30 minutes before it was pass out or leave. We chose leave.
I did take some pics but I don't have them up yet. Right now my head is just killing me from the sun and even though I came home and laid back down (plus chugged a bunch of water and ate some food and took some motrin). I hate sun headaches they just take so long to get over. Blah. That's the adventure. So word to the wise...don't go driving off looking for a fun thing to do outside when it's Florida in June.
