(trying this again since last night blogger was so slow it timed out trying to post my entry)
Ok, so in the too-weird-to-be-true file....a conversation from my message board:
him Hey M? Were you in Ft. Myers the other day? I was talking with soldier, and he saidhe ran into you at the mall. Was wondering when you were gonna stop by again....
me Ft Myers? Nope, never been there. (and most certainly not the other day! lol) I do have a doppleganger that everyone but me has seen. She used to be in my area but no one's seen her in awhile. Maybe that's where she went. ;) *shrugs* Sorry, not me. Did this person actually claim to BE me? Jeez, I hope not.
him According to him, yeah she did. But oh well
me You're kidding me! She actually CLAIMED to be me? Jeez, what is this world coming to?! That's just freaky. If I were to have met members of my forum I'd post it on my journal or something. If it's not there, it didn't happen. What the heck was her name so I can track her down and yell at her for impersonating me?!
Anyway, that's just too freakin' creepy.
Isn't that the weirdest thing? I'm sorta freaked out now and also sorta flattered and also really actually PISSED. Hey you! Yes you, you not me pretender in Ft. Myers, Florida! Why are you claming to be me? If you were me, you'd be writing here but since you're not, you're NOT ME. So, stop saying you are! Grr.
I'm just wondering how much this other person looks like me that she's convincing people she is me. Anyone with info on the spotting of me that's not me in Ft Myers, let me know!
Ok, I have found a new obsession....beads. Oh yeah, I went to the craft store today and ended up buying some beads and I've made two braclets and dammit! I want to do more. It was so much fun!! Waaaa...why do I have to be broke? I'd go buy more stuff and then I could sell some to make a little extra money on the side. Already, I have a ton of ideas and no money and no way to get more stuff (I quickly discovered several other things I need to do stuff but didn't know this until I started doing it. Arg! I wanna wanna wanna do more but I don't have the money to start!
Here's what I got today from the craft store:
And here's what I was working on as my first ever bead jewlery project:
So then I'm nosing about ebay hoping I'll find people selling off beads in lots maybe, like cheap. But no, all the lots are expensive. (like $10 and up) blah. So nothing there. But I did find a necklace with the most beautiful pendant on it and I'm REALLY crying now because it's $40 and I don't have that but oh I want it so much... *cries* Damn being desitute, damn it! (Click the image to go to the auction)
Nothing like poverty to whoop your ass and remind you all the things you can't have and can't ever hope to have. Blah. I'd like to get some beads and supplies to make jewlery but I can't because I'm too broke to buy stuff and I'd like to get a necklace I really love but I can't because...drum roll please...I'm too fucking broke. Fucking sucks.
Anyway, anyone with thoughts on how I can get going on making some jewlery items, people having jewerly findings or beads they don't want or people who really love me and want to buy me the necklace (yeah right) or more realistically might know where I can buy it as just a pendant and I could make my own necklace out of it, please contact me. Thanks.
Ok, so I made the post below, then I thought about Chris, then I AIM'd Chris then Chris reminded me that I had to send out some love today. :) Yeah folks, I am that geeky that I send out wishes to all the wonderful System Administrators out there today! lol
So I'm trying to catch up on some of my blog reading that I don't get to do often enough to keep current with all my friends when I meander over to Alexis' site. She mentions how she feels like she's drowning and life just keeps piling it on, dragging her deeper each day. Gods, I know the feeling. That's so wrong you know? I sat there, reading her post a couple times over, just feeling her pain, frustration, and just weight of it all and I swear, it could have been written by me. I think of all this vibrant, creative people just dying a little each day from the sheer, crushing, destruction of the world - the way it's so broken that we walk across fields of shattered glass each day and fail to even notice anymore the way we hurt from it. The way it's so ruined and wrong that we bleed for them, for it, for the people who control us - all the while proclaiming ourselves free and liberated people. The way it chokes us with it's bare hands, laughing as we gasp and struggle - all the while we convince ourselves that it's the way life is supposed to be and that we just have to "deal" with it.
But that's so wrong....
And it shouldn't be this way. We let ourselves live like unwanted cattle being slowly herded towards the slaughter and we call it life. And I try to think of something nice to say to her, to try to tell her that she's not alone in seeing the world the way it's been ruined, and I can't say it. I just keep stammering and babbling and I can't find in myself the hollow, empty words to tell her it will be alright. Because it's NEVER alright, it's just that we let ourselves believe sometimes that's it's not so bad. I don't know. I don't know what the point of this entry is just that I felt I had to say SOMETHING; I had to get it out in some way.
It's not just you, Alexis...the world really IS this broken and we suffer the pain of it while a select few watch and laugh as they pull our puppet strings. We've all been taught to believe we're real but we're not - we're Ponoccio dreaming of being real. And I don't know what's sadder...the fact we are just puppets, or the fact we convince ourselves we're not.
So I'm really out of it plus uber tired and what do I decide to do? Log on to the net. Yeah, makes sense right? *shrugs* I'm just feeling so space cadet like everything's just drifting by kinda lazily, or maybe I am, but either way, it's an effort to do much. Which brings me to writing an entry. Another genius thing...can't form coherant thought? No problem, write in your blog. Hrm... So, looking at the clock, seeing it's like 2:30am I realize it's friday so I drift and float my way over to the friday five and here I go trying to answer questions. (ha)
1. How long have you had a weblog? Formally, my blogger goes back to January 2001, but I was handwriting infrequent journal-type entries first on my tripod site and then later on my forum as early as about 1999?
2. What was your first post about? For ease of my ailing memory, let's just use the first post on Blogger. It says, simply that I was testing it and that I had a headache. You can go read it for yourself if you really want. :)
3. How many changes (name, location, etc.) of your weblog have there been, if more than one? Oh jeez. Well, officially, this is called version 5.0 It's me with my angel wings and purple background. It's been "the ever changing status of m" and also "given eyes to see" (where the domain name came from) and a few other things. It's been hosted on the now defunct gothic-angels.com, drinkdeeplyanddream.com and soon to be moved to the domain I registered exactly for this purpose, giveneyestosee.com
4. What CMS (content management system) do you use? Do you like it or do you want to try something else? Erm...right now, I'm using blogger.com but I rather do something else like Greymatter or MT, but I've been so uninspired to figure them out I just haven't bothered yet. *shrugs* it's the lazy in me.
5. Do you read people who have both a journal and a weblog? Or do you prefer to read people who have all of their writing in one central place? Most people I read are like me: they just stick whatever they want to talk about from news to personal stories to jokes to whatever in one place. I kinda think that's nice because then you get a more complete picture of the person, their thoughts, and their life. When you start breaking it down into specific topics for each specific blog....eh...gets to be too much on form, not enough on content for my liking. Just pile it right on in and I'll read it. :)
There. Deep thoughts for the night. This is Free Radio M signing off.
Had another interview today. I thought it went really well; I was there for almost two hours and met with three people (the guy I'd be reporting to, the President of the company, and another manager who works in connection with a corporate customer). I was really much more interested in this position today then I was the one from yesterday, though the one from yesterday didn't have anything really wrong about it, just something about this one I liked better. *shrugs* They seem to need someone who can do a lot of different things and fill in a lot of different gaps and that's definately my specialty. lol I am the original Jack of All Trades. They called me back a few hours ago to send them my references and some information on my educational background, so just did that and I figurered I'd make a post while I was connected. They have a meeting to go to and won't be getting back with me apparently either way until next week - ugh, waiting! - but that's ok, because I really think they liked me and gods hope I'm not just getting all worked up over nothing.
Hrm, well, Joolo's on his way over and I've got to run to the store for a few things (like, well, food and toliet paper - both of which we're out of) and since my Love gets paid tomorrow, I can get away with writing a check today. Good thing too because our fridge could not be any more bare. Not that we have any money to spend - it's all aready spent on bills and such - but, hey, you gotta have food and that's one of the things that I'm just going to get and that's that. Blah. Hate being so poor. Wish I'd hear something on my Unemployment appeal. Stupid slow *grumble* governement *grumble* organizations.
Anyway, I gotta run. If I have time I'll get more here later but it might not be 'til tomorrow. (A day I'm eagerly looking forward to sleeping in since it's been very hectic the last couple days and I've gotten zero sleep from stress over my interviews) Ta for now.
Ever have one of those days where you have stuff to write about but you just don't feel like getting into? Yeah, this is one of those days for me. In short though: Power was off when I got home from my interview - as in, they came and turned it off the little fuckers - and there was much scrambling, cursing, and fighting to borrow the funds to turn it back on (which thankfully they did about 5:20pm today). There was also a birthday dinner/party thing to go to and none of us were feeling up to it, but we of course went, ate some nappy-ass buffet food (for which I now feel sick) and then headed (thankfully) home. I have another interview at 10am tomorrow to go to and it's another early morning for me (though I didn't end up getting to bed at any decent hour last night and therefore got little to no sleep and felt like shit all day and though I'm exhausted, it's that kind of worn out that doesn't, unfortunately, come hand-in-hand with ease of falling alseep. Blah.
So, that's the brief of it. I think I'm going to go get sick now so this entry's a wrap.
A Deep Thought Question For You To Answer Yeah, yeah, so I still need to go to bed, but I ran across someone asking for people to quiz them and I came up with the following question. Think about it, and then answer it yourself either in your own journal (but leave me a feedback so I can read your answer!) or just leave your answer straight in my feedback. I'm curious how people would react to this so your participation is helpful! :)
------------ If you could have your choice between the most wonderful, vivid and seemingly real dreams of pefect, undying love each and every night, but be alone the rest of your waking life;
or....
have nothing but horrid, disturbing, terrifying painful and seemingly real nightmares each and every night but have a loving mate the rest of your waking life, which would you chose and why? -------------
Job Interviews, Faxes, Productivity, Oh my! I actually got some stuff done today which is like a miracle. First I checked my email this morning to discover that not one, but two people had emailed me in regards to resumes I sent out a few weeks ago. Problem was that up until three weeks ago, everything that went out had my Love's cell phone number on it - the one that we gave up on after getting charged up the ass and getting disconnected all the time. Both were trying to reach me and both requested that I return their calls. I looked up both companies based on the domain names that the emails were from and found one is about 30 minutes away and the other was really far away (according to their address on the web) in the vicinity of no-way-in-hell distance of like almost a two hour commute.
I called the closer one first and spoke briefly with the woman and set an appointment time for tomorrow at noon. Excited, I called my Love at work to tell him I was going to need to take him into work so I could have the car during the day to make the noon appointment. I debated for a few moments on whether or not I should bother to call back the other one since it was really so very far away and in the end, decided that worst that would happen is I would decline to meet with them.
I reach the other person who called me, a man this time, and spoke with him at great length for the better part of half an hour. He told me about the company and the position in good detail and then asked me for information on my past, my experience and details on my previous positions. I gave him all the information and he seemed very pleased. He then asked me if I could come in for a face-to-face meeting. At this point, I still did not know where they were located and I was SO hoping that this wasn't all in vain but I told him I was open all day Thursday. We set a time for 10am Thursday and he proceeds to ask me if I know where a certain street is. I almost screamed; it's right near where my friend Rand lives - about 20 minutes away. Weeee!
So, after that, I got in touch with Rand and he came and got me and dropped me off at his house to use his mom's fax machine to fax out resumes from this past Sunday's classifieds. Unfortunately, his cable modem was out, leaving me almost two hours (after I finished my faxes) with nothing to do (no broadband *sighs*). The other good thing though is that his mom needs me to set up her client database and input the information for her and will pay me a lot to do it, so at the very least, I'll have that as some extra money coming in.
DSL Update The bad news of the day is actually from last night. I followed up with my phone company because I had ordered my DSL service on July 9th and had yet to even receive anything in the mail (they told me to expect a letter first, then the equipment after). Turns out the order was rejected but there was no notation why. When they tried to put the order in again, the number came up that it was unable to support the DSL connection. ACK NOOO! She gave me another number to dial to contact their DSL department technical support direct to see if there's anything that can be done to improve the lines or to get the service available here but I tried calling them yesterday and today - both times sitting on hold for 15 minutes - and getting nowhere in reaching someone. So the really bad news is that it looks like I WON'T be getting back to broadband anytime soon and I don't know how long I can continue to use Rand's dial-up account so I might be disappearing again. (can you say, fuck!!?) I still owe Time Warner about $250 so there's just no way I can get my cable modem back on and I don't have any other options at this point. This really sucks. I was all hopeful that something was going right and now it looks like it's not going at all.
*sighs* So anyway, that's about it. I still have to pick out what I'm going to wear tomorrow (always a grueling experience) and get to bed soon so I get enough sleep to wake up at 7am to take my Love into work. (blah) Wish me luck everyone, I've got this one and another on Thursday and dammit, I need one of them to offer me a job!
Ok everyone, go and check out Kush-ka's new website. Yes folks, that's right, I made a site just for my adorable feline. lol You'll find a bunch of cute pics and FAQ's on the grey kitty. It's the best. So go take a look! :)
Um.... *blinks* Well, it's pouring outside. Some really nasty sounding thunder was booming through the sky and shaking the walls earlier this morning. I slept an insane amount last night and didn't get up until like 1pm today. I didn't feel really well yesterday; felt kinda sick almost (my throat was scratchy, I felt all phlegmy, and just worn down) so I guess I needed the rest. Don't know why, not like I do anything really, but *shrugs* felt good.
Joolo's coming over today for a bit to hang out with me during the day for his birthday. He's just having lunch with his family right now. Beyond that, not much going on yet. Just wanted to get the weekend's updates up so I guess I'm just babbling right about now. LOL
Ok, ta for now. More later as I have something to write about.
Ok, lets play a little bit of catch up, then I'll make another entry for current stuff. :)
Saturday, July 20th 2002 So I had gotten that free PS2 game, right - the soccer one? - and I don't even have a PS2. I think since it's still factory sealed that I'll just take it to a store and get store credit for it. (I wanted to use the store credit to get something for Joolo's birthday because I don't have any money to buy him something and he doesn't like soccer) I mean, afterall, it's factory sealed and they can certainly sell it as new. I'm not asking for money back mind you, just a store credit to get something else. Apparently, this is an outlandish request.
Electronics Boutique - a store I used to work for many years ago - would only give me the used game price of credit despite being new and unplayed. This is total bullshit and not how they do things. They wanted to give me $15 for a $30 game and then sell it themselves for $30. Somehow, I think not.
While I was at the mall, I also put in an application to the Disney store. Seems there’s looking for some part time help and though it’s all of $5 an hour or whatever, even something is better then nothing and heck, I know tons about Disney and think I could pull it off. I’m waiting to hear back from them.
Best Buy wasn't even that helpful. The lady flat out told me that she could do NOTHING for me without the original receipt. I told her it was a gift, that I don't even own a PS2 (which I don't) and that I simply wanted to get a different game, and she said to me, "There's nothing I can do for you without the receipt. Nothing." Well now, isn't that one hell of a customer service policy? A brand new item, factory sealed, in perfect working condition, wanting only to get another item from their store in it's place and that's an unreasonable request? That pissed me off royally. What the hell kinda policy is that? That has seriously made me reconsider spending money there knowing that unless I have my receipt they will forcefully - and rudely - tell me they refuse to help with any exchanges or returns. I mean, that's terrible business right there.
Which brings me to a place I didn't expect to give such a glowing praise to, Wall-Mart. Now I don't normally go to Wal-Mart (preferring Target instead), but there is a new Super Wal-Mart that opened up not too far away and it's actually not the run-down and nasty dirty place the rest of the Wal-Marts are around here. Desperate at this point, I suggest we head over there.
Well, I walk in, go to customer service and just explain that I picked up the wrong game and I was looking to exchange it for another one. She looks at it, sees it's sealed and says, "ok, just go get whatever you want and bring it back here." That's it. Just like that, easy-as-pie. We shop around, find the game we decided to get Joolo (Freedom Force for the PC), pick up a few other items (well....they have a lot of stuff there!) and head back to the desk. She asks if I have my receipt, I tell her no, and she says, ok, and just needs my driver's license. No problem there. Rings up the extra items and we pay the difference and that's it. 1, 2, 3...and we were done. So, I have to tell you what...the people at the new Super Wal-Mart were DAMN nice and helpful and friendly. And THAT was well worth my money and will make me shop there again. (not to mention some really good prices on our dishwashing liquid. lol) They get my thumbs up. =D
Sunday, July 21st 2002 Joolo takes Sunday off from work (he normally works weekends from 10pm-10am Friday/Saturday/Sunday) and comes over after he gets off from Saturday’s shift. We hang out during the day and have a birthday party for him then since Rand and my Love work on his actual birthday, Monday. We have cake – an amazingly cool ice cream cake with Neapolitan ice cream in the middle, and a layer of yellow and a layer of chocolate cake with Dove chocolate poured and hardened into a chocolate shell on the sides. It was oh so yummy.
We gave him his present and he installed it over on my Love’s pc to try it out. We played cards, and games until another friend, Kali, came over and she gave him an anime cd and some other stuff. We decided to use our Ruby Tuesday’s coupons – from the last time they screwed up our food order and gave us not only that night’s meal for free, but another $10 each for next time – and ordered it for Takeout and then closed the evening watching the funny movie, Office Space. It was a good day. Joolo was so happy that we had the party for him and wasn’t expecting much since he knows we’re too broke to buy him anything and stuff, so a pleasant surprise all around and a good day.
If you haven’t already, you can see the pics from his birthday party here!
Ok, so Joolo's over right now for his b-day party (his b-day is tomorrow, quick everyone, go wish him a happy bday!) so the entry will be a little later yet. Have some pics to put up of his cake and stuff so look for those too. :)
testing to see if the comment system thingy works...I decided to try to use the YACCS comment system but with the files located on my server so no effect on outages from there side...never played around with commenty things before (and especially not ones I'm attempting to host) but it seemed easy enough so let's publish and see what happens.
uh yeah, entry tomorrow....er later today. Let's just pretend I wrote what I will write later yesterday and it won't look like I was a lazy slacker who didn't make a post for Saturday on Saturday. Yeah. Something.
