Yeah I'm still alive - though Thursday I wasn't so sure about that and was ready to go into the hospital - but I don't feel like writing an entry now. Was gonna earlier but I didn't and now I just want to log off but thought I should just make a note that I'm alive.
Hi.
Ok, that's enough, my eyes hurt and I'm logging out. More later on.
I was up again all last night. I can't stop throwing up everything I eat. It's been three days now. I was so miserable - hours and hours literally unbroken in the bathroom - I worried over going to the hospital/ER just to try to make the pain and misery stop. It was finally when my Love was getting up for the day (at 7am) that I finally was able to pass out into sleep. He held me and stroked my hair and I finally was able to sleep. For the first time all night. I slept until about 11:15am. Not enough by half...still so tired and so miserable.
I'm really worried at just how sick I am and if I keep throwing up today I think I will have to go to the hospital. I haven't eaten in like three days now and have only managed to keep a very small amount of ginger ale and some saltine crackers down this whole time. Everything else - including pills - hits my stomach like lead and comes back up no matter if I want it to or not.
Last night I cried and begged to sleep; to feel better; to just be allowed to rest. I don't know what to do anymore I really am very worried...I can't recall being this sick for this long. (I normally rarely ever throw up. and if I do, once is like a huge thing. to be losing everything I eat no matter how bland it is and how carefully i try to take it, is so depressing) Last night, as my Love was holding me I said I feel like I'm dying and I meant it. He ssshhh'd me and calmed me but it's been so bad.
I'm supposed to call my boss today. I don't know what to tell him. There's no way I'll be strong or well enough to be there tomrrow even if I suddenly am able to hold down food today. I'm so weak.
I'm going to try to lay down though I feel like I'm going to puke again - my antibiotic...blah. I need that so I can get rid of the UTI I have at the same time as all of the rest. Hopefully sleep will be kind and I can pass a few hours with rest.
Thank you to everyone who's sent well-wishes my way (and Jen, that card was too cute!) I'd send back personal thank you's by email, except my damned email isn't letting me send out for some reason, so I'm having issues with it. (and too sick to think about fixing it, blarg)
Today has been utterly miserable. I can't keep out of the bathroom and I can't keep anything down. I'm SO HUNGRY and even puked up the chicken noodle soup my Love was nice enough to make for me. My nose won't stop just pouring and each time I blow it, it makes my head just pound with my pulse. My lips are all chapped and I can't breath and I can't remember a time that I've been this sick in a really, really, long time. (Actually, I think the last time I was this sick, I ended up in the ER from severe dehydration; I was blacking out) I can't even take the antibiotic my mom brought over for me because I can't keep enough food down to take it (you need to take it with food). I also keep puking up things like the Tylenol Cold & Flu, and the Pepto to try to calm my stomach. This is crazy.
Got the phone fixed today and got the guy to put me on copper (instead of the shitty DMS cable) so I can get them to get me on DSL soon. (just need to get them to condition the line to handle it but he says that's routine enough and not a problem) Need to determine how/when to do it because the job status thing is up in the air - talked to my boss today this afternoon (I was sick for literally hours non-stop this morning, then I passed out for a few and called him when I woke up) and he's not sure what to do. He wants me to call him tomorrow. I told him no matter what, there's no way I can make it tomorrow either. I'm just that fucking sick. We'll see what happens.
Uh...I guess that's it. I'm so incoherant, I hope this makes some sense. I just needed some sort of distraction and I've not been on the pc all day so I thought I'd try to stop thinking about how the last batch of salten crackers I ate want to come back up (though it's not helping much...I think I'm going to be sick....again) Ugh.
I am still so damned sick! ARG. and i got an email from my boss basically telling me if I'm not 100% and ready to go tomorrow morning, chipper and everything, that it's over. but I'm fucking sick and feeling worse now then I did this morning. I only got sick last night for crying out loud, so today was only the first full-blown day of it. There's no way I'll be bright and eager and happy and perfect for an 8am start time (considering I have to get up at 6am to make said 8am start time and drive 1 1/2 hours)
I understand business and all, but this just sucks. It's not my fault and I do not have control over whether or not I've got a cold on a day you don't want me to have a cold. Ugh. *sighs*
In other news, we had a firetruck and an ambulance pull up at the building that adjoins ours, so we went outside to see what was going on. The firemen were all in full garb and such and there was an electrical smoke smell on the air. Turns out apparently the apartment like right through the wall next to ours had their water heater burn out and cause a small fire. Ick. Luckily it was out and everything was ok, but eep. Scares me. I'm terrified of fire and I'd hate to even think about someone else's apartment causing our own to get toasted.
Anyway, I'm exhausted. I can't see straight, I can't breath, and I feel like utter shit. My nose won't stop pouring out snot and my ears are all stuffed from the pressure of blowing my nose so many damned times. In short, I'm going to bed. I don't know what the hell to do about tomorrow. I'm too fucking sick to deal with this shit.
Last Wednesday and Thursday I was sick with a stomch flu (puking and stuff) and missed work. Friday I made it in. Saturday I was fine, but yesterday, I started to get really achey, chills/feverish, and nose started driving me insane. I ended up crashing at like 10pm full on my way to a monster of a cold. So I either didn't set my alarm or didn't hear it (I honestly don't remember) but the next thing I know my Love's waking me up and it's like 8:10am. He's running out the door, late for work himself.
Fuck. So. Yeah, now I have a cold. And am missing work again. Can you say, That's All Folks? My guess is that being sick last week left me weakened to get my Love's cold, but shit...this is just stupid. You just can't explain something like this to a boss. Not like they'd believe you even if you are sick, it's just crazy. Plus it makes you look like the single unhealthiest person on the planet - which is so not the case.
I'm going back to bed. I feel like crap. And this sucks.
