I am so utterly and completly discusted with people right now. I can't begin to tell you just how sick and tired I am of getting the shit end of the stick over and over and over and just having to fucking deal with it.
Sometime on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day, someone did this to my car which was parked in front of my apartment:
They either hit it pulling into the spot next to me (most likely from the deep forward push inward of the dent) or, when backing out of a space from behind me. This is not even remotely a small bump, this is pure steel pushed deeply in, with embedded bits of what looks like black bumper rubber marring the whole surface. They also scrapped the back quarter panel as they came in, or when they backed out after hitting it. This is the driver-side wheel well and driver-side back quarter panel. They of course, did not leave a note or anything, so they commited a FELONY in the state of Florida by this act of Hit-and-Run. Of course, I'll probably never know who did it.
I did not find it until the 2nd because I did not go anywhere on New Year's Eve after pulling in about 7:30pm. (It poured unbelievably that night, so we scrapped our plans and stayed in) and we lounged around the house on the 1st. When I called the cops to report it, they said it was "too old" for them to come out and file an actual report. The apartment complex was like "oh so sorry, whatever."
I walked all along the complex last night looking for vehicles with black bumpers and white paint and/or damage to their passanger-side front (if they hit it pulling in) or driver side back (if they hit it backing up). You would not believe the number of vehicles that have plausable damage in those locations. My neighbors apparently all fucking suck at driving. I have something like a $1,000 deductable on my insurance so there's no way they're going to do anything for me. (Florida is a "No Fault" insurance state {which is such unbelievably utter bullshit, I won't even get into it now} meaning our rates are really, really high, hence the really high deductable. Basically, in Florida you throw money away every month to a legal scam called insurance company but can never, ever afford to put a claim in).
This will be the third time my car's been damaged - all three of which I was not even remotely at fault for and TWO of which happened when my car was parked and I was not even in it. (in addition to having my hubcaps stolen TWICE - one of which is still missing because I've not had the money to replace it) To date, the car has not been fixed once. Not once has an insurance company paid one red cent for the damages done to me. So my wonderful, once-beautiful $14,000 Mustang (that I worked my ASS off to pay for over four years) is now a literal peice of shit. The front bumper is ruined completely including broken headlight mounts (they point off all wonky), a completely torn-to-the-fiberglass rear bumper from the first time someone plowed their car into my parked car, and the driver's side is now smashed to hell in from this incident. It makes me so violently ill to think about it I seriously want to just die. I am so discusted by this whole thing I'm actually shaking as I type this. I just want to break down and cry.
I just don't even know what to say. I'm just stuck being fucked over by some spineless (and probably fucking drunk) asshole who fucking hit my parked car and just "oh well." fuck. It's shit like this that really makes me want to just die. Happy Fucking New Year to me.
I've always loved the hauntingly powerful and beautiful voice of Sarah McLachlan. I saw her a number of years ago out in Orlando and her voice is really that good - this is not a case of sounding wonderful thanks to millions of dollars of post-recording equiptment. She's really that gifted of a singer.
So, when I learned about her import album, Remixed which is Trance/Dance versions of nine of her songs, I had to have it. I'm listening to it right now as I do more data entry work (the idea was to get something upbeat to keep me going) and all I can say is WOW. It's really, really excellent. Some of the remixes seem strange at first - seemingly at odds with the softer album versions of the songs - but give it a good listen and it's really something special.
I am SO enjoying it. Anyone who likes Sarah or Trance should take a look into it. Well worth the investment. :)
Wow. I just glanced at my stat counter and I had like 40,000 hits to my journal in 2002 (though I'm not sure exactly when I started having it count). Pretty cool.
So new year's. Doesn't feel like anything special to me though. Seems just like another day. I woke up and my Love came in and gave me a kiss and said, "Happy New Year's honey!" and I had to stop and remember that oh, yes, today is a holiday.
We had made last-minute plans to head out to the Downtown area (we love that area) to attend a large, alcohol-free celebration (called "First Night") with music and entertainment, food, and vendors and culminating with fireworks at midnight. I had never been to one of these things, though my Love had a few years past and enjoyed it. It sounded nice. Our favorite area, getting out and about (something that means a lot to me since I spend 7 days a week in the apartment), and getting to see some fireworks and such. I was looking forward to it.
Tell that to the weather.
It started to utterly POUR at about 6:30pm. It didn't stop until about midnight. There was flooding and serve thunderstorm warnings and we are the lightning capital of all the country, so big storms are not to mess with. Of course, we didn't end up going. Jef came over and we ended up just hanging about the apartment. Made myself some cocoa, watched the he-can't-be-natural Dick Clark count down the last couple minutes. After that, the guys went back to some video games and *shrugs* that was it for my New Year's Eve. Didn't feel like anything. Didn't seem like it was anything but any other midnight that I watch pass. Didn't get to see any fireworks; the complex was pretty quiet because it was soaked from the still-drizzling weather. Didn't get to go anywhere or do anything so it doesn't feel like a new year at all. Which stinks because it's kind of a down way to enter a new year - still feeling like the old, and feeling like something sorta just past you by while you weren't looking.
Anyway, ended up going to bed sometime almost 5am when I was literally falling asleep at the computer, so I just got up. Think I'll go brush my teeth and wander out of the bedroom (though, once again, the bed looks overly inviting to go lay back down for a nap). Happy New Year all. (maybe if I keep saying it, it'll sink in.)
I was driving over here to my friend Rand's home to check up on things for them while they're gone in Holland for the holidays and I realized as I was driving just how disconnected from the act of driving I was. It was weird. I felt as normal as usual with the motions of driving - the natural ease that comes with years and miles behind the wheel - but at the same moment, I felt like I was watching a moving picture and not the real surroundings outside my window. I think this is what happens when you start spending all your days inside, in front of screens rather then out and actually, physically interacting with the world.
The kitties (all three of them) here are so lonely and bored and I feel for them but I need to get going and get back home to meet up with my Love and my friend Jef for whom I am spending the celebration of the New Year tonight. Just an observation and maybe a bit of advice on this day; get out and be part of the world. Don't forget that there's more then just inside the brightly lit boxes in your living rooms and offices. Life is not a spectator sport - get out and enjoy it instead of watching it pass you by.
Happy New Year (almost, it's 11pm in Holland right now) to my good friend Rand and all his family there, and Happy New Year throughout the hours to those who, like me, wait and watch for it's approach.
Holy crap. When did the entire year of 2002 go by without me noticing?
I mean....wow. Strange. I don't even feel like we've past Halloween yet, let alone Christmas and now New Year's is here on our doorstep. Where does time go so quickly these days? I remember the endless summers of my youth - how it stretched towards infinity and held the promise of warm sunshine and hours riding bikes for miles and miles; how the days seemed fuller and how they had definition from one to the next. When did I lose that? When did they just blur seamlessly into one, large tangled memory? When did time get up and move away without me, leaving me behind somewhere looking at empty walls and forgotten scraps of days gone past? Is this what it means to "grow up?" Do we just lose touch with the passage of this thing we call time, as it moves on without us and without our consent, stealing our lives away piece-by-piece until one day, you wake up, and it's over and done behind you?
It's so weird. Some days I feel like there's an infinity of time left for me. That I'm young and this is how I'll always be. But I won't will I? None of us stay the way we think ourselves to be. Even long after the mirror stops reflecting us the way we expect it to, and our bones stop moving with the fluidity and grace of youth, we still think of ourselves the same way and we wonder how it all changed... Other days, I blink and I find myself drifting in a sea so very far away from home; from the places I remember from before and the times I thought would never end.
I guess I'm just reflective tonight, facing this the last day of yet another year. All at once, I crave the change the new year to bring and fear the passing of yet more precious time without direction or purpose. I am adrift the waves of years and I long for the comfort of the shore. May everyone remember tonight of all days, their distant shores and may you all find the ones to come.
Busy doing some data entry work that I promised to do for my friend Rand's mom. (She's paying me to do it, but I've been so slammed busy these last two weeks, I'm really behind on it.) Ugh. I suck at it too. I'm a good typist, but a poor data enterer. There is a big difference though it doesn't seem apparant if you don't do both.
Anyway, while I'm being my boring self, all here stuck at the pc for the next couple hours, I went ahead and turned on the cam. It's not been on in a bit (mainly because I surf on the pc in pj's and with my hair up in a bun) but since I just took a shower and look mostly salvagable (though my hair's messy and wet) I figured it was now or never. *smirks*
No mocking me though for looking utterly bored because I probably am! ;)
Hey, on a sad note, I wanted to send some happy thoughts and warm wishes out to my good friend the Goddess Of Death. (yes, that's an in-joke). Sorry to hear about it, feel free to stop by or call or whatever if you need someone to talk to or just don't feel like being at home. I don't want to get into your personal life here, but I wanted you to know I was thinking about you and am here if you need me. *hugs*
I hate waking up, disoriented, heart pounding because in an empty apartment and in an empty room (with nothing on; no radio or tv) I heard someone say my name.
I updated Kush-ka's site tonight with some cute little pics of him under the xmas tree, some cat-nap ones, and ones of him eating with his paws. *lol* He's too damned cute. Anyway, feel free to go check it out if you're like me and you're a fan of the Little Grey Kitty. ;)
My Love and I are so thrilling. We were both hungry last night like 1am and were discussing running out to the Super Wal-Mart (the damned 24-hour Eckards just down the road isn't 24 hours anymore) to get some food. Instead, we ended up falling asleep on the bed with the lights on and the tv on in the living room and everything at like 1:30am. We woke up sometime after 3am, turned everything off and went back to sleep.
Woo-hoo, look at us party animals go. *lol* One heck of a Saturday night, hu? ;)
So I ended up getting up like 11am or something (early for me; I normally go to bed like 4am and get up like 1pm) but now I'm cold and I want to go snuggle back up under the covers. Hrm. Sucks because we have to run up to my mom's and hook her pc up for her. (We built her one for xmas since hers was a 386 with 400 meg harddrive.) The new one's nothing uber, but hell, it's better then before, and pretty much what mine was before I got my gig processor (and if I could do all the sites and graphics and photo stuff on that one all that time, she can certainly use it to learn how to use email!)
Damned call of the bed.... it's all warm under there and stuff. Bah.
