After having a miserable headache again today from my neck to the point I was crying when Jef came over to hang out, it's finally starting to feel better and come out of the no matter what, my neck's especially out of kink and is causing non-stop pain back to the good ole' standard it just hurts, but it's background, I can pretty much just deal mode. The first I can't deal with - especially days on end, when nothing makes it better and I wake up feeling worse then the day before. The second, I deal with all the time and though I don't like it, it's a hell of a lot better then when it's really bad.

The only thing is, now I'm worried about going to bed because I don't want to sleep on it wrong and wake up feeling like shit again tomorrow. Ugh. But, I'm trying to think positive and stay in the mindset that it's worked its way back to what qualifies for normal for me and it'll be all right.

(fyi: my neck was damaged when I was born. I was basically pulled way too forcefully into the world - should have been a c-section birth - and this damaged how my neck grew through childhood. Two vertebrae in my neck on the right side, just below the base of my skull are permentely out of whack. This became apparent when I was about 12 years old and in pain every day. Numerous doctors and chiropracters later, no one had any solution for me and the universal conclusion was I was stuck. Even in the last year or two, when I tried again to see another doctor and chiropractor about it - because when my neck gets bad, it triggers migraines for me - he actually stated he had never seen such a thing, was baffled at the fact it would not even remotely respond to normal treatment, couldn't believe I could live with the amount of pain it would cause on a daily basis and actually apologizied and said he wasn't going to keep taking my money since he couldn't actually do anything to make it better. Such is the background story of my neck and why it's hell to live with.)

So....stalling but I'm tired, so I'm heading off to bed now. *yawns* It's almost 5am, I think that's way late enough to turn back into a pumpkin. :) ttfn.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 1/15/2003 04:42:16 AM ~ ~