I'm so bummed out. Yesterday I was sick - violently so, puking and miserable. I slept fitfully last night (waking up with sharp pains in my stomach, sweating, etc.). We had set the alarm for 7am (we went to bed at like 2am) so we could plan to leave for the wedding about 8:15am. Well, somehow, while hitting the snooze button, my Love turned the alarm off. We slept until 8:20am. At this point, we're already running late. Then my stomach decides it's not done with me and I go throw up again (despite the fact there's pretty much in my stomach, it doesn't care, I'm still in there dry heaving for ten minutes). My stomach is hell and I'm in total pain and we're already running late. My Love has to leave and I'm not even dressed because I just got done trying to throw up my stomach lining and I just utterly feel like absolute shit. He ends up leaving and going by himself.

I so did not want this day to go this way. I ended up being in the bathroom another hour or so, then laid down and slept (fitfully again) for a couple hours and then back to the bathroom. He called a little while ago and everyone of course is asking where I am and what's going on and he's stuck there by himself facing another two-hour drive alone to come back. Ugh, I feel like shit on so many levels. I think the leftovers I ate for lunch yesterday were bad because this has to be food poisoning or something. I don't throw up from stress - only from virus or food poisoning. We were going to have a nice day and spend some time together and enjoy the apparently beautiful grounds up there, and now it's all gone to shit. I couldn't go because I was busy being sick and my Love is all mad at me (even though it wasn't my fault and I certainly didn't just puke for the fun of it; I think I have to hate puking more then anyone on the planet because I rather do just about anything in life then fucking puke) and the have a nice day out day has turned into a source of bitterment and anger and hurt and sickness for me. I still feel horrible and I just want to curl up and die. I hate that my fucking stomach ruined the day and that now it's all gone to fucking shit because I ate something bad.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 3/1/2003 02:12:58 PM ~ ~