Saturday I woke up with a headache, but we had made plans to go see Bringing Down the House with Rand and Kali. We got there for a 5pm show and by this point, my head was ready to burst. The movie was funny I think and I laughed a few times, but by the time it was over, I was in so much pain I was crying. I spent hours laying in bed in the dark room, with the migraine ice packs on my head, unable to sleep or even relax. It hurt to breath and I just couldn't do anything to even get a break in the migraine attack. I couldn't relax because my mind wouldn't calm down and I just couldn't control it. (If normal is like watching one channel on tv, and flipping around when I chose to, then being in the midst of the migraine is like watching all 200 channels at once and having no control over any of it). I got up out of bed at about midnight and ate a little then sat up trying to get drozy. I managed to finally get some sleep by about 2am.
Sunday I still wasn't feeling great and my migraine I could feel just lurking around in the background - hurting sometimes, but then fading away and feeling better others. It never exploded to the massive attack that it was Saturday night though (thank goodness).
Today it's the same way, just not quite alright, but not really that bad either. It's just getting to a point where these attacks are lasting days and days - even a week - instead of hours like they used to. They're getting worse and worse and each one leaves me that much more debilitated and for longer amounts of time. I really don't know what to do anymore and it terrifies me. I'm such a victim to my own head. I know if I saw a doctor - again - for them, they'd try to write me off a prescription (like the $200 for nine pills of Imatrex which didn't even work) or, they'd want me to do something like an MRI which is just thousands of dollars I so don't have. I couldn't even go to the hospital on Saturday - despite the fact maybe I should have - because I couldn't tolerate the migraine in the pitch blackness of my own bed, there would be no way I could sit in a brightly lit waiting area for hours hoping someone will give me something to help. Ugh. I just don't know what to do, I really don't.
So, that was my weekend (and why I didn't update in a couple days, I was just literally unable to). Not much else to report, so I'll close for now.
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 3/10/2003 06:33:37 PM ~
~
