My Love got stuck in an elevator with an open bottle of floor stripping chemicals today for 45 minutes. Rescue had to get out there thanks to a cell phone (his friend's) that worked and no thanks to the "emergency call" button that didn't (instead ringing an ANSWERING MACHINE). Ugh. He wasn't feeling good after that and didn't get home until about 6:30pm. He's sore, beat, had an awful headache and has been sleeping already for two-odd hours - too tired to care I'm on the pc. Poor thing. He still needs to get up at 9am to help Rand empty his storage unit.

We never made it out to the beach. Between the rain and the fact he was just exhausted, I missed out on going. So sad. I had really gotten my hopes up for going - and getting to actually try to do something for at least one damned Pagan holiday. It annoys me sometimes that I don't ever get to express my affinity with the Pagan Wheel of the Year and that I don't have opportunity to engage in any ritual or celebration. I guess I just look back at so many empty years of lame-ass Xtian holiday rituals/gatherings I've been forced to grin and bear, but never do I get to do anything in homage to the Divine and to the Earth in ways I would like to explore. Sad. No one really takes it seriously around me and most think it's just a silly way to be "different" or something, but I really do feel like the changing of the seasons for example, are holy days. I know I always feel a heavy weight coming into Winter Solstice (Yule) because I know the long, dark sleep of winter is upon us and that Spring is nothing more then a hope or a promise. Spring is a time when that promise is realized and life awakens once more. Summer is the peek of bountiful life, when the world is fully alive and in bloom. Fall brings us back to the preparations and reminders that winter will return. I feel the changing of the seasons and they are days of connection for me. Even long before I ever thought to call myself "Pagan" or sought out information on other's faiths, I always marked the changing of season. So, it was sorrowful night that didn't give me a chance to go out to the shore.

I did pay an homage of sort to what I had wanted to do at the beach on the simple list tonight - where you list life's simple pleasures - and I thought I'd share it here:

..the salt-kissed wind that blows the strands of your hair like silken embrace as you stand on the shore gazing out at that point where sky meets water and everything becomes possible…

Off to bed with me perhaps. My back is sore from sitting (read: slouching) at this computer all day and my fingers are getting sore. I'm not tired, but I might as well call it a night.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 6/22/2003 02:47:21 AM ~ ~