I've been plauged with an inability to sleep properly lately. I simply find myself unable - utterly - to fall alseep. 2am, 3am, 4am, sometimes 5am I'm still awake, just waiting for some signal that my body will finally give up and be tired enough for sleep. This has been going on the better part of two weeks now. My sleep isn't troubled with bad dreams I don't think - for I've really lost touch with any clue what my dreams are; they are instantly gone the moment I wake up - but I am tossing and waking (startling awake many times) and from all that (or because of that), I wind up with a sore neck and a headache then for the rest of the day. I'm still sleeping the same number of hours and even sometimes if my headaches get bad enough, I lay down for a short nap to try to escape them, but these continual headaches and bad nights of insomina are driving on me. I don't know what to do.
Add to all of that today's looming date. It's October 22nd. Six months ago today I had to put Kush-ka to sleep. I still mourn and miss him so very much. It seems it was a moment ago that he was still here; I can't fathom he's been out of my life already for this long. So, I've been sad lately, thinking of how much closer this way was coming. It seems like I should do something; some symbol that I miss him and that I've not forgotten how important he was in my life; but I don't know what. Kush was family for a lot longer - and in a lot more ways - then almost anyone else in my life. I know he was sent by Her for me to have something good in my life and some days I miss that. Yes of course, I have a new animal companion in my life - the every silly Mika who is, to say the least, the exact opposite in her loudness, hyperness and general silliness then Kush ever way - but it doesn't make me miss him any less. I still cry when I think of him being gone and how much I still miss him. I had wanted to go out to the beach tonight - sort of my "sacred place" with which to gather myself and speak of sorts with the Divine - but pending my head, I don't know if I'll be able to. Though it's important to me and I hope I can.
In less tearful news, things went amazingly well with the selling of the horns. I'm so excited about that - I never thought it would do so well as it did. Truly. That money is such a help and is so needed. I feel proud that so many people wanted something I made with my own hands. I feel artsy and slightly validated because people were willing to buy what I made. All but one of the pairs I had listed on ebay sold (and that pair is relisted here for anyone interested), plus several pairs which people either commissioned or liked when I showed them as other peices I made. In all, I sold...
a copper twist pair (ebay)
two red twist pairs (ebay)
a blue twist pair (ebay)
a purple twist pair (commissioned)
a purple and white twist pair (bought direct)
a purple devil horn pair (commissioned)
a pink satyr curl pair (ebay)
a glow in the dark pair (ebay)
two granite stone pairs (1 ebay/1 commission)
a red/gold twist pair (bought direct)
and I have a copper devil pair, a silver devil pair, and one more pink satyr curl pair left over.
Pale Pink Faerie (Fairy)/Satyr Horns - Ready and Available NOW!
($13.00 + $5.00 priority mail shipping)
Metallic Silver Devil Horns - Ready and Available NOW!
($10.00 + $5.00 priority mail shipping)
Anyway.... that's enough for now. My head hurts (still) so I'm going to stop staring at the monitor. Ta for now.
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 10/22/2003 06:51:04 PM ~
~
