given.eyes.to.see dot com | the ever changing status of m v6.0: spring in bloom

More Teeth Stuff - No Good News Yet
Not that I'm thrilled about the prospect of potentially needing a root canal on my cracked tooth (I don't know yet for sure because it's not been evaluated by a dentist as I lack the money to see one and no one of yet will finance me for it), but I utterly am NOT open to the concept of simply pulling the tooth. No, no, no...that would be bad. First off, I'd have a gaping hole in my mouth. No thank you. Secondly, teeth are like tree roots - they hold the other teeth in the gums. You start pulling teeth and you weaken your gums permanetly and run a very real probability of your other teeth getting loose and falling out. Heck, even orthodontists don't pull teeth anymore - they work around the fact you don't have enough room in your jaw. When my mom had her braces like thirty years ago, they pulled like two teeth. She now has big gaps in her mouth and the other surrounding teeth have turned and such. One of them is dying as well. It's just a bad thing all around. When I had my braces, the dentist was very specific about the dangers of extraction and was appalled at the notion. Third, extraction requires painful and expensive implants/bridges to fill in the gaps and all that work would run me more then just preserving my natural tooth. Fourth, implants traditionally cause pain and sensitivity indefinately. I so don't need that.

Myth #3—A good alternative to root canal treatment is extraction (pulling the tooth).

Truth—Saving your natural teeth, if possible, is the very best option.

Nothing can completely replace your natural tooth. An artificial tooth can sometimes cause you to avoid certain foods. Keeping your own teeth is important so that you can continue to enjoy the wide variety of foods necessary to maintain the proper nutrient balance in your diet.

Endodontic treatment, along with appropriate restoration, is a cost-effective way to treat teeth with damaged pulp and is usually less expensive than extraction and placement of a bridge or an implant.

Endodontic treatment also has a very high success rate. Many root canal treated teeth last a lifetime.

Placement of a bridge or an implant will require significanly more time in treatment and may result in further procedures to adjacent teeth and supporting tissues.

Millions of healthy endodontically treated teeth serve patients all over the world, years and years after treatment. Those healthy teeth are helping patients chew efficiently, maintain the natural appearance of their smiles and enhance their enjoyment of life. Through endodontic treatment, endodontists and dentists worldwide enable patients to keep their natural teeth for a lifetime.
-source

Yeah I know it's an endodontic dentist site so they're a little bias, but I happen to agree with them from things I've read in the past and other dental advice. I'm not even considering extraction as an option.

Headaches and Things
Beyond the on-going tooth hell, I woke up today with a damned headache/on-the-edge-of-turning-into-a-migraine. Been all hyper light sensitive today the way I am when I get a migraine and been having the pressure behind my eyes and the just ongoing oww....quit it that generally signals one is on the way. Very frustrating and I didn't even get to run back over to the mall today like I had planned. (Yesterday, I went to the bookstore in the mall, found out they were looking for someone for part time and picked up an application. I filled it out and wanted to take it back in today since they said they were doing interviews next week, but my head was miserable and my Love came home feeling like he was getting sick). I hope we both feel better as tomorrow there's a flash mob getting together in Tampa and I wanted to drive out there to see it. Also, in the evening is a friend's birthday party. It all depends on how we're feeling though I guess. If he's really coming down with a cold and/or my headache crosses the line and fully goes migraine, we may be out of commission this weekend. (Which would really suck).

PostcardX Drama
There's some bullshit drama going on over at px with this utter bitch named "Summer Nights." Now summer has a tradition of literally going around, asking people to buy her things ("would someone please buy me a Sanrio organizer?" Bitch, get your fat ass online if there's no stores in your area and buy one yourself, that shit is like $20) and asking for multiple items from each and every offering someone makes no matter what it is - from "Greek Orthodox" postcard (and she's not even of that faith) to multiple poprocks (she wanted three - to share with her daughter and husband. What? She couldn't not eat one herself; the fat ass had to take all that were offered?) to multiple drawstring bags (seven up for grabs, she wanted two) to frog postcards to stickers (that someone already claimed adding, "if there are extra I'll take some too!" in addition to like four other things from the same offer) etc. etc. etc. No one can possibly want that many things unless they're just a greedy bastard. Say I had some stuff I wanted to give away, like a book and a cd and some stickers. Well, she'd ask for 3 or even 4 things instead of letting anyone else get something. She's also deleted people's names from such lists and put her own instead. She's ALSO been harrassing another member of the site ("Dorkyschoolgirl") for no reason, stealing her profile. So then, if that's not enough, she posts on the px livejournal and calls me names saying I'm after her and I'm deleting her posts and shit. By name And if all that weren't enough, she then does the lowest of the low: she edits my profile on there to actually mock the death of Kush-ka. That takes the lowest of the low. She's nothing more then a greedy cunt. I am utterly disgusted with her and her behavior. On top of everything, people keep posting that people need to stop "attacking" her and deleting the comments made by Dorkyschoolgirl and I validating the reasons why we do not like her. The fucking Thought Police have been on patrol because they did it multiple times - anyone who wasn't defending the poor innocent cunt was removed. I saved the text I wrote though and kept reposting it because I refuse to be censored. Oh and they also deleted all her old posts where she blatently was asking for things and wanting people to buy her stuff so she would look the innocent party. Bull-fucking-shit. I HATE to see people abuse something that is such a good thing and I am NOT afraid to speak up. (Hell, you won't be able to keep me quite!) Her kind of attitude and fucking scams take advantage of people's goodwill and ruin the entire spirit of the site. And it simply disgusts me.

The End
That's it for now. Head hurts and I'm not feeling better ranting about that bitch. Just the thought that she would mock the death of Kush makes me want to fucking beat her to an unrecognizable pulp. Going to try to have a drink to try to relax so maybe I can get some sleep. Right now, the head hurts but there's no way I can get sleep and sleep's probably the only thing that would make me feel better. Ugh. Out for now.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 8/16/2003 12:34:59 AM ~ ~

Let's sum up shall we...?

Tooth with a split and needing a crown and possibly a root canal.
Been this way for over a year but no money to fix it.
To a point now where it hurts and I pretty much can't eat.
Called everywhere today. Estimates are in at about $2,000.
Time is of the essence (see part about me not being able to eat and being in pain).
No medical or dental insurance.
No savings.
No finacing companies willing to loan me money or finance my dental work (they have special dental ones, but they all require imaculate credit).
Utterly horrible credit (for the next two years before it all falls off - mistakes as a teenager with credit cards).
No rich family.

What exactly do I do?

I'm so disgusted right now. I'd be utterly THRILLED to pay someone back - even with intrest - if someone would just lend me the damned money. But all the companies go by credit and not the fact that you're not a bad person, you're just in a bad way medically and you really need to do something about it yesterday. When Kush had his two surgeries, I was able to work out payments with the vet and made them - without fail - each and every month. Why won't someone let me do the same with the dental work? Why does it have to go through finance companies??

This is hell. I just don't know what to do. You simply shouldn't be allowed to be turned down for medical necessities. It's just not right.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 8/14/2003 01:33:25 AM ~ ~

Not much to update. Ran some errands yesterday; same today. My friend Rand's leaving for a business trip today so it was just my Love and I hanging out. We stopped at the store and decided to make some fondue for dinner (we got some Swiss Cheese fondue mix, an apple and some french bread for an appitizer and some beef, chicken breast which we'll cook in a chicken/vegetable bouillon) For about $20, we have a two-course meal that's delicious and fun. (And which runs upwards of $60 at the oh-so-delicious Melting Pot)

Not much else going on. Got sick Friday out of nowhere and ended up at the last second unable to go with my Love to his family's house for dinner. (It was his brother's birthday) I felt terrible and even worse because now they think I'm avoiding them - which I'm not! I just honestly can't control when my stomach will decide to up and go crazy and make me miserable. It's just never been right and Friday I spent the evening trying not to puke and trying to keep down some chicken noodle soup. :(

That's about it for now. Mika's mmrroooww?-ing at me and jumping all over me. She is under the impression that having already been fed twice today just frankly isn't enough. *lol* Attack of the tubby tabby. Better go play with her a bit so she doesn't decide to destroy something in her hyper I-want-food state. ;)

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 8/10/2003 05:23:38 PM ~ ~