I could have sworn I heard a rumor it was November...
...but apparently not.
Damn. It's YET to even get into the 70's. We haven't had ANY days I can wear my jacket even. The only time I've worn it so far is when we went to the hockey game. (because, well, let's think about it: a stadium full of ice. Yeah, it's cold in there) When we're in the mid 80's like this actual temperature wise, you have to also remember to add several degrees in "feels like" temp because of our oppressive humidity. So it's still feeling like 86, 87, 88 (!!) damned degrees.
It's not like I'm asking for snow, but shit, let's at least get into the 70's! We need a break! We're sweltering and our a/c hasn't stopped to catch it's breath.
Ok, since I've been a slacker about getting my site together with custom horn information, I finally put at the very least two sample pages of horns. This will give people examples of colors, styles and prices. Most of the ones on display have been sold, but I can easily make another pair of the same thing - or, the same thing in a different color.
Let's see....Wednesday, my friend Jef came over with something called the Eye Toy for PS2. It's a lot of fun and we spent the entire afternoon jumping around, waving our arms and generally being big goofs in front of the little camera which allows you to interact with things on screen. It's silly but a heck of a lot of fun.
The problem was that when I got up my shoulder and neck were already sore. Add to that flailing my arms around madly for a couple hours and you can imagine that I had a painful day of it yesterday. Ouch. So my Love was nice and picked up this heating patch thingy. The problem is that the darned thing stayed literally ICE COLD (similar to the effects of the migraine ice product) for the entire time. For like five hours it stayed there, smelling really bad and being icy cold. I left it on since it at least numbed the pain, though it certainly wasn't the "Deep Pentrating Heat" as advertised. I emailed the company and they want me to mail it back to them in a pre-paid envelope and they'll send coupons towards anything else of theirs I want. Eh. I tend to think that whatever the active ingredient is in it, probably just causes a cold response in some people.
We got the Sarah McLachlan cd, "Afterglow" but today was the first time I had to sit and listen to it all the way through. The damned cd was a pain in the ass thought. It's got some "advanced" software on it called "BANDLINK." Yeah, well bandlink can kiss my ass. First off, I refuse to install something I don't know what it is on my pc. Other "enhanced" cd's don't require you to install their (most assurdly full of spyware) software, they just make different cd-rom readable tracks for video clips and such. Secondly, because of this shitty software, I couldn't play my cd. WinAmp couldn't read it at all - it couldn't find the tracks. Windows CD Player found the tracks, but produced silence. Windows Media Player was able to see the tracks and make sound - but it stuttered so badly I couldn't tolerate more then five seconds of it.
I was enraged. How dare they make a damned cd that when you purchase it - not a copy, not a burn, I shelled out the $11.89 for it thank you very much - you can't play it in your pc? So I called my Love. He suggested that I get the Music Match Jukebox software to rip it into mp3's and then play it off of my pc direct (thereby avoiding the bandlink bullshit). I had never used the program before, so I downloaded and installed it, rebooted my pc and set to see what I could do. Sure enough, it was a couple clicks and the thing very quickly snagged the tracks for me and converted them into .mp3. At first I didn't know where it put the tracks but when I found them I really came to LOVE this software. I had specified in installation where I stored my music files. So I first looked in that root directory folder for them after ripping them. I didn't see them. Turns out that the software recognized that I already had a folder within my music one called "Sarah McLachlan" and it put the entire album it it's own folder within the Sarah one! Too damned cool. Once they were on my pc, I was finally able to sit down and listen to the album. Yeah for Music Match Jukebox!
Heaven bend to take my hand and lead me through the fire be the long awaited answer to a long and painful fight truth be told I tried my best but somewhere along the way I got caught up in all there was to offer but the cost was so much more then I could bear
though I've tried, I've fallen I have sunk so low I messed up better I should know so don't come round here and tell me I told you so
we all begin out with good intent when love was raw and young we believe that we can change ourselves the past can be undone but we carry on our back the burdens time awlays reveals in the lonely light of morning in the wound that would not heal it's the bitter taste of losing everything I've held so dear
I've fallen I have sunk so low I messed up better I should know so don't come round here and tell me I told you so
heaven bend to take my hand I've nowhere left to turn I'm lost to those I thought were friends to everyone I know oh they turn their heads embarrassed pretend that they don't see that it's one misstep one slip before you know it and there doesn't seem to be a way redeemed...
though I've tried, I've fallen I have sunk so low I messed up better I should know so don't come round here and tell me I told you so
-Fallen, Sarah McLachlan from the new album, "Afterglow"
It's the first song on the cd and her first single as well. It sets the tone of the cd. It's a darker, but still airy and hauntingly beautiful album for her. I've managed to listen all the way through it today and a few of the songs really have stood out. This is one of them. Another one I particularly enjoyed was "Answer" - most specifically this quote:
Cast me gently into morning for the night has been unkind take me to a place so holy that I can wash this from my mind
Anyone who enjoys her work will like the album. Those who enjoy beautiful female vocals with a powerful and yet hauting quality and range would also enjoy it. I recommend it and think you should also take a look at her previous cds such as "Surfacing" and my personal favorite, "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy."
Alrighty, so that's the sum. I need to pack up some of my stuff that's cluttering the living room right now (I had mailed out a few px items today so my stationary and related are out there) since we're having some friends over tonight. Ta for now.
(Oh yeah, wish us luck. We're going to [finally] drop off our app for the apartment we love so much tomorrow. *crosses fingers* Please let us be approved, please! I want out of the ghetto building so badly and the other place is SO nice and less expensive then we have now.)
la la la... I owe it to myself to write an entry, but I'm probably going to babble. There's your forewarning.
Saturday my Love, my friend Rand and I went to a Art Festival held in a park. The park had these cool metal sculptures in a couple places and two of them were down along the nature trails. We decided to go look for them. We're wandering around, taking some pics of the trees and such, looking at the cute gopher tortoises that live there, getting a bit hot (despite being November, the sun was quite hot and it was in the mid 80's) and a tad lost. We're walking down what we're pretty sure is the right path this time when this english couple comes from the other direction saying we shouldn't go down that way because someone just got mugged. (!!) Woah. We're like...mugged?. We stand around for a few moments, talking it over and thinking how odd it all is and questioning the validity of the story vs. the fact Rand and I are carrying cameras and the guys both have cash in their wallets. Unknown factors like whether or not the guy (if he existed as we didn't know at that point) had a gun or something also figured in. Another family came by from that direction and repeated the story so we decided it just wasn't worth it and turned around. Got back to the park building and the german tourist who had been robbed was sure enough on the phone reporting it to the cops. Oy.
The festival itself was ok. There really wasn't a lot there in terms of things that were real craftmenship. Nothing I was even slightly interested in buying. My Love was curious about it because his friend's wife has had a booth there for her jewelry the last two years and he was curious about the draw and the type of people to see if it'd be worth it to put up his own work there next year. The mugging situation wasn't a nice aspect, but the real shame is that the area isn't the best and I guess the guy just figured it'd be a good day with a lot of people around.
Sunday we went to Disney. We had upgraded our Play 4 Passes to seasonal ones. (because we were able to put the money we had already spent on the play 4 - more then half the cost of the seasonal pass - towards the seasonal one it was an excellent deal) We were originally going to take Rand with us, but he bailed at the last minute citing homework. We didn't get off to that early of a start, but then, there really isn't any need to since we have seven more months of unlimited park access to all four parks, it's ok if we get to the park at 1pm and stay 'til close at 7pm. We got to see the new Philharmagic show which was EXCELLENT! Oh boy, I really liked it. It's a 3-D movie, but has 4-D interactivity like puffs of wind and sprays of water on you. I really enjoyed it and it's on my top ride list. The other good thing was the Carousel of Progress was back open finally. It's my Love's favorite ride. The damned "Big Thunder Mountain" STILL isn't open (my fav.) which stinks since I don't think it's scheduled until like the end of November. Bah.
I had a really hard time getting up out of bed sunday morning. I was just getting back down into a funk because there's a slew of money issues again and I'm battling the concepts of needing to do things in life and take advantage of ways to get a lot out of a little bit of money (i.e. spending a small amount on upgrading our tickets and not wasting the money we already spend, giving us tons of days of fun and much-needed get-away) versus the guilty feeling from spending ANY money at all. We have so many things that need to be paid for that it gets overwhelming and so disheartening. I tell myself though that we all need to be able to get away from problems in life sometimes and that the small amount spent wasn't enough to solve any problems, so I shouldn't look down on myself for wanting something nice for the two of us. I spend every damned moment of my life just about here in this apartment. We haven't been on vacation in years and there's no forseeable time that we'll be able to, and we both love really being able to get away from it all by going to Disney. But that guilt nags at me though I try not to let it. And I talk to my friends about it and they agree that everybody needs to do things like that sometimes and that no one will think badly for doing something like that. Though I guess so many years of so much guilt from my mother make that little voice in the back of my head mock me and make me feel bad for the choices I make. Hell, I could have decided NOT to do it and the voice would have said I was dumb for wasting the money we already spent. *sigh* There's no easy solution. There's just so many times when deep-down, I really hate myself and I see myself as being really such a loser that there really isn't a course of action where I'd win. It's like winning isn't an option so I just do the best I can to minimize how much damage I'll take.
I dunno...
Anyway, I had fun once we got there and it did help get me out of my slump a bit, though if I stop and think about it too hard or for too long, it threatens to tilt on me again and slide me back down into that pit.
Today, my friend Rand took a longer lunch and treated me to Olive Garden. It's a rare treat for me since my Love's allergic to garlic and that means he can't eat pretty much anything on the menu. It was nice of him to take me and I know he enjoys the chance to relax and talk a bit as well. I had the yummy chicken alfredo and I surprised myself with how much of it I ate. (I normally eat like two bites and I'm full after a couple breadsticks with the alfredo dipping sauce *YUM*). I managed almost half of it which honestly, has to be a record. Not only do I rarely eat during the day (generally I nibble a bit, then eat dinner and nibble a little at night and that's it), but they give you so much food there's no way I can ever eat much.
I woke up though with the worse neck ache. Right where my neck meets my right shoulder, it literally feels like whiplash. I think I must have slept weird and pulled it, but oh my goodness, it's just been killing me all day. It hurts to turn my head and the asprin I took didn't do a thing for it. My Love rubbed it a bit for me this evening, but it's still just wickedly painful. I want to sleep (I'm so tired and woke up earlier then I wanted today to be ready in time for lunch), but at the same time, I'm worried that I'll sleep wrong again and make it hurt worse. It's times like this that I really honestly and truly need some sort of medical attention for this. Actually, since I've been to several chiropractors and they all are baffled and can't help, I think I honestly need preventative help like theraputic massages. I know it sounds silly, but my neck is literally and permantely out of alignment which causes me varrying degrees of pain every single day of my life. It's gotten worse over the years so that it's causing my right shoulder to be out of alignment as well and the shoulder grins bone-on-bone everytime I move my arm. It also will sometimes cause shooting pain down my arm. The thing is that I need it to not get that bad; I need to keep it loosened up so it doesn't get this way and seize up on me.
This evening my friends Jef and Karii came over. Karii had rented the Quiddich World Cup video game and we're all big Harry Potter fans so we were looking forward to seeing it. It was a lot of fun and though confusing to figure out what's going on (though it got easier the more you played it), it definately was a good game and we're thinking of eventually picking it up. Though the problem is that we're pressed for cash this week and both the Finding Nimo on dvd, and a new cd from one of my favorite female singers, Sarah McLachlan came out today. (This is her first in six years!) So...we want both of those as well. Need to see how things work out and go from there, but I have just enough left over from the Halloween Horn sales to pay for the cd. I might splurge and get it.
Anyway, I've rambled way more then I intended to and my poor Love's waiting for me to finish up so I can turn off the light and let him get some sleep. I'm going to go ahead and close up here. Besides, Jef lent me his Super Mario Bros 3 for GameBoy that I want to play anyway before bed myself. Night.
bummed out and frustrated right now. just feeling really helpless and like everything just doesn't ever let up. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. it just seems like i can't keep buying things to distract me from my real sorrows, probably mainly 'cause i don't have enough money to keep me distracted. when the treats are so far and few between, they don't seem so much like treats, but borrowing off of tomorrow's impending disaster. pawning off my tomorrows for a sliver of fleeting happiness today...
going to bed. should have gone an hour ago. not tired and at the same time, weighed down with a want to sleep and just not get up.
