So........I'm bored. We got a tree tonight (yeah!) and we're leaving it be tonight to make sure Mika doesn't decide to attack/bite/climb it in anyway. This is our first xmas with her and we don't know how her generally really hyper nature will take to the tree. Kush was never interested in doing anything besides sleeping under it, so this year, who knows what's what. Since she is like 3 1/2, it's likely she's been around a tree at least once before. So far, she's passed the first tests - we hung strands of mardi gras beads from the lower branches to tempt her into going for it. (Better with beads then my 60 year old ornaments on the tree) She sniffed and started to bite one strand, but a quick squirt of water and she stopped. Since then, she's pretty much ignored the tree. Hope it stays that way.
Because I don't really have anything else to write about, I decided to address some of the recent things people have searched for and ended up on my site. I realize it's redundant to do it after and that the likelyhood of them coming back and getting the answers are slim to none, but eh...why not.
Google: webcam girl "new glasses"
Well, I'm not really a cam girl, but I do have a webcam that I just never remember to turn on. I do also have glasses, though I almost never wear them in photos and they're not new anymore. In fact, they're two years old. And, well, I need new ones. Not new glasses, but a new prescription. Mine doesn't really help anymore. I'm squinting when I wear them. *bah* Damned near-sightedness in my old age. (I never wore them before I was 24 because I used to have perfect vision. Dammit.)
Google: "best buy" and "one penny" or ".01"
Er...I don't know what this one's about. I know that a lot of times when Best Buy is doing some "free" sale, they have to actually ring it up as 1 cent in their systems. But....beyond that...?
Yahoo: hestia the goddess pics
So, I've never heard of this goddess name. It wasn't in my The Magician's Companion book, so I looked it up myself. According to this site, "Hestia is the Greek goddess of the hearth fire, hence presiding over domestic life. She is the eldest sister of Zeus and the oldest daughter of Rhea and Cronus." this site also mentions that "She is also known as Vesta (Roman)." You can also check out this, this or this just to name a few. So there you have it.
Google: clean erg valve
Ok, I have no idea if or how you can clean the things. I know my check engine light is on in my '95 Mustang because it needs to be replaced in my car, but more then that, eh...I don't know. I've been told it's not vital and it obviously isn't as my check engine light's been on for over a year now. *laughs*
Google: paintshop new year
Well..um. I have paintshop on my pc and well, it will be the new year of 2004 soon. *shrugs*
Yahoo: download bud light real men of genius
I swear. More people find me for this then anything else. Not a day goes by that some variation of this is in my search history. A little while ago I found this site which had them all in nice, clean mp3's BUT...apparently the poor guy has used all 30 GIGS of his transfer in a day. They are up for a short period of time when he gets more bandwidth, but that's it folks. I don't have them. I've never had them. And I don't know where else to find them.
Google: stomach pain and puke
Yeah well, with my stomach, pain and feeling like barfing isn't uncommon. Drink some ginger ale or sprite. Eat some saltine crackers and push fluids - clear liquids only! - if you do puke. Beyond that, if it doesn't stop, see a doctor. You could get dehydrated really easily (been there, wasn't fun. resulted in going into shock and an overnight stay in the hospital) or it could be a sign of something else wrong.
Google: how do bannanas turn brown
I have no idea why someone found me based on THIS search, but *shrugs* Here goes an answer anyway. Bananas are one of the many "self-ripening" fruits, meaning that even after they are picked, they continue to ripen. Apples are that way also. These types of fruit release natural gases (such as ethylene) which continue to make the fruit ripen and eventually rot. The expression, "it only takes one rotten apple to spoil the whole barrel" comes from fact. Once an apple is to the point of rot, the production and release of gasses dramatically increases and will prompt the even faster ripening/rotting of the other apples. In fact, if you need to quickly ripen bananas, you can put them in with an apple in a paper back to hold the gasses in. You can read all about it scientifically here
Google: download bud light commercial real men of genius
*sighs*
Google: lyrics
Ok, bit vague. There's much better sites on the net that have nothing BUT lyrics. Go find one of them.
Yahoo: I have a uti and got an antibiotic how long til i feel better?
Ugh. First off, whoever was looking for this, know I sympathize. UTI's are hell. That said, for me, once I start taking an antibiotic, I feel better within a day. Make sure you get yourself some Uristat to help numb the pain while the antibiotics get in your system. Yeah, you'll pee neon orange, but you know what? It's well worth it. Also, make sure you see the dr as soon as possible - the faster you can get on the medication, the quicker the recovery. In the meantime, drink cranberry juice. Seriously. It has natural properties to help fight the infection. Many dr's are pretty good about taking your word for it if you get them reguarly. Many will simply call in a prescription without needing to see you once you have a history of it. Feel better.
Google: bud light real american heroes fantasy football
Yeah, this is just from the last ten, see what I mean?
Google: EVE ver4.0
Eve? I don't know what this is. The only "Eve" thing I know of is a graphic novel called E.V.E. ProtoMecha. Beautiful artwork, lame story. *shrugs*
MSN Search: where to buy custom vampire fangs
Ah. One I can help you with. Go here. These are the ones that I actually have. I like 'em a lot and they've lasted for three Halloweens so far. :)=
*laughs* Yeah, not even close. Move it along buddy.
MSN Search: movies about autisum
Didn't know how to answer this one, so I'll just point you in the direction of Autism.org's movie list. Things like Rain Man are on that list and other things like Forest Gump are on other lists.
And well, we're ending on a vauge one so I don't know what to mention about this since, I'm not in advertising and I don't know exactly what they mean by an advertising letter. Oh well, 9/10 isn't too bad. *winks*
So..........that's that. Wow. It was harder then I thought to go through and answer these questions. It's odd the things that people look for who end up here on my journal. I'm sure things like this will only spawn even more odd-ball keyword searches, but hopefully, this time, they'll find answers! Ta for now.
The 2000 election, which was decided when the Supreme Court ruled against Democrat Al Gore in the Florida recount, "was the undermining of democracy itself,'' he said.
Since then, Sharpton added, "there's been a nonmilitary civil war led by the right-wing,'' including efforts to put in a new, pro-Republican redistricting plan in Texas and the successful recall of Democratic Gov. Gray Davis.
Now the Bush administration has put together a "no dissent'' policy when it comes to the war in Iraq or the war against terrorism.
"We're called unpatriotic if we question (the war in Iraq),'' he said. "(But) we're unpatriotic if we don't question it.''
and...
Sharpton also slammed the other Democratic candidates for being willing to talk about "civil unions'' for same-sex couples but shying away from the politically loaded approval of gay marriage.
"Asking me about gay marriage is like asking me about Latino marriage,'' he said. "We don't have the right to deny anyone the legal option of any other human being in this country.''
The whole thing's worth reading though. Good thoughts within.
More on the nature of just how nasty the mother at this company is...
She was bragging to the one nice woman here (I'll just call her "T" for privacy sake) about her daughter graduating medical school. She then goes in about how stupid the woman on the phone was when she tried to order flowers for her. "She was a trainee and I swear, no kidding, she must have put me on hold 6-10 times to ask a question". Oh POOR YOU. Would it be better if the woman just gave you incorrect answers? Is the woman not allowed to still be learning how to handle calls and take the orders? Were you seriously THAT inconvienced because the woman needed to get the answers to your questions from someone else? So what if you've ordered the same flowers a dozen times before, the woman hasn't taken your order several times before and was in training.
I don't remember how we then got on the subject of customers here for this company. She oversees the department of the company that deals with employment screenings/credit checks/tenent screening/etc. I answer their phone line, take a detailed message and give it to that department. If I can, I try to answer their questions. Hello, good customer service. So she says that the clients are all idiots. She says all the information is spelled out on the website. I mentioned that I has someone wanting to know what exactly was included in the tenet report and that I pulled up the site and read off the items. She scowled and said that people should just read it themselves and that they could decide that I said something I didn't and implied that I can't read text off a screen. She just kept repeating that I should send them to the website to read it themselves. I mention I just try to help them out and provide good customer service to ensure that the new clients' first experiences with the company are positive and that they decide to register with us and use our services. To her, that seems an abhorant thing because she again says they're idiots and that they just need to read the website. What kind of business is it that won't answer questions and just tells people to read the site? I know if I called to ask a question of a company and they wouldn't answer it and instead just directed me repeatedly to a website, that I wouldn't use that company. That's just rude and utterly uncalled for.
Man, she is a class-a bitch. What a sourpuss. I can't imagine anyone dealing with her in a positive way. Nasty, nasty woman.
ATM Card Implant? Ew. Creepy in fact. No thank you. On that disturbing note, I'm going to bed. Thank the fucking stars above tomorrow's Friday. I'm so done with this week.
Well it's official. We notified the new complex that we just couldn't do it. Not when it'd be about $2,500 to move. I retracted the notice to leave the current place and now....? Who knows.
I also wasn't wrong about what jerks the owner's mom and family are, because today, the only nice, normal woman there - one of the two loan officers - came to me while the family was away at lunch and told me I was the third admin person in a month and a half because the mom is so nasty that they quit. I believe it. I got bitched out by her today because I made a typo. But not because I made a typo, but because she was conviced it wasn't a typo, that I was just stupid and failed to ask about something I didn't know. In the data entry yesterday, I typed the credit card expiration date as the year 01 rather then 04. Look at the layout of the number pad on your keyboard and tell me how easily I could have slipped and hit the wrong key. She just rides right over me saying I was sorry and that it was just a typo as I obviously wouldn't have typed in an expired credit card date ('cause duh, they can't process a payment on an expired credit card and I think anyone with half a brain knows this). She kept repeating herself that I needed to ask her and even grabbed the file to point out how I obviously couldn't read the date because there was a slight blur across the date on the fax. NO YOU DUMB BITCH, I'M NOT STUPID, I JUST MADE A SIMPLE TYPO. FUCKING GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE CALLING ME STUPID AND TREATING ME LIKE SHIT.
Fuck.
So, yeah. Nice track record for the woman, hu? Three people in under two months. Nice.
And yeah, no apartment. No prospects. Nothing we can do. Joy of joys. I'm so fucking depressed I can't even put it in words. Why the fuck am I even bothering to write this. I'm just pissed and hurt and just fucking sick of it all. I gota go get ready to drive over and pick up my love from work now.
Mornings come too early these days and the week is STILL not over. By the evening again yesterday, I had another migraine coming on. Went to bed at midnight with a migraine ice and I'm still way beat. I keep waking up in the mornings way before the alarm - like an hour or more sometimes - and then I'm there not fully asleep for the rest of the time allowed. Then the alarm goes off the first time which wakes me up more fully again. Then it goes off the second time from the snooze. Then I lay there another 20 minutes while my Love's getting ready before I have to actually get up myself and throw some clothes on to take him in. So by the time I actually get out of bed at 7:30am, I've been awake since about 6am. It's just killing me. How can I be this tired so many days in a row and going to bed so very early? Hell, I've even dozed off on the couch the last couple days in the afternoon for like half hour or so. I'm just beat.
The apartment situation has gone from bad to possibly do-able to bad and now to absurd. Instead of over $800 in deposit, the first apartment complex now wants over $1200 in deposit. We'd be moving not only to a different city, but across the county border and would have to change our power company as well - another $216 deposit. Also, the cable and phone have transfer fees ranging in the $50-100 line. THEN, we'd also have to get renter's insurance - required by that complex. That's payable quartly so there's ANOTHER $75 or so bucks. Plus first month's rent and THEN moving costs and cleaning costs for our current apartment. The other place we applied for - and who we didn't forsee an issue since the first place said they'd accept my Love without issue were it not for me having the problem on my record with Twin Lakes. Well, they did have a problem and they're saying the only way we can go in there is with a co-signer. A CO-SIGNER! What....?!! Needless to say, we don't have that as an option and so now we're royally fucked. We've been keeping our current place at bay with month-to-month because they knew we were looking for another apartment. Well, now that we've spent $100 in application fees to the two places and we just can't spend $2000 or more to get into apt. #1 and don't have a co-signer to get into apt. #2, it looks like we'll be stuck signing a new lease on our fucking ghetto complex. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Neither one of us wants to stay there a moment longer, let alone another year. But we can't keep spending money, having my Love's credit score go down each time it's checked, and keep getting denied. We're out of options and both of us are just about ready to jump off a cliff. (Good thing there's no cliffs in Florida or we'd both be dead by now.)
I don't know what to do anymore. It's like I'm not allowed to get my hopes up. I'm not allowed to have anything better in life. I can't get out of the scary, dangerous, loud and felons-for-neighbors apartment complex. I can't ever come home and relax because I never know when the cops will be out again, perhaps arresting people again, or when the group of thugs will be leaning against my door or railing. I never know what they're up to - the screaming, the yelling, the throwing glass bottles around - and I never feel safe. That's such a good way to live right? What the fuck now. I mean really. What the fuck...?
This morning it was all I could do to crawl out from underneath my blankets. I'm slipping again. The depression is clawing me back down and it's like I don't even feel like bothering to fight it. Why? Not that it does any good. Not like I can ever hope for something more or better in life. I don't want to be here and I don't want to think anymore and dammit, most of all I want to stop hoping that things will work out for me. They never fucking do and I'm sick of failing.
Who knew four hours could feel so long? Oy. My Love was sick this morning, so he called in. Neither one of us has been feeling all that hot the last couple days, but he's been feeling worse. The good thing is that I got to sleep an extra hour until 8am this morning instead of 7am to get him into work on time. I actually was dreaming at one point and woke just slightly in that half-half state where time loses all sense of meaning. So I was sure that I had mis-set the second alarm (for 8am) and that I was now blissfully sleeping right on through 8am and beyond. And I didn't care. I was glad I was just giving in and sleeping and so when it turns out that the alarm WAS in fact set properly (damn me for being able to set it even half asleep at 6:45am) and it went off at 8am, it was a painful shattering back into reality. Bah. I was really feeling shitty this morning having not slept anywhere near long enough to be fully recovered from the migraine last night. Generally, going to bed with a migraine means I need to sleep something crazy like ten hours so that when I wake up, it's out of my system. Last night I slept a little under seven - including my extra hour. Ugh. I was dragging and crampy and sore all over (say hello Aunt Flo...) and running late the whole morning. I managed to rush and get in there by about 9:04am, which didn't really matter considering the boss was once again not there until like after ten.
Today was data-entry day, which is always lovely, but at least better then the damned number stuff I have waiting for me to file still. The thing which stinks about data entry is that their desk set-up is atrocious. First off, there's no such thing as a trackball (of course) or an ergonomic keyboard (big surprise) there. Which means I type really, really slow because my fingers get all tangled up. They're not used to interacting with each other like that and I have to hold my hands in these really awkward ways which doesn't help. Let's not even get into how hard it is on my wrists. So I did it really slow - purposfully not pushing myself in the slightest because it's just not worth it to make my hands/wrists hurt for days to do it quickly. The other major problem is that they have the monitor off to the right rather then in front. There's no document holder so it's an awful back-and-forth to try to read something and then look over at the monitor to check the screen. Why in the world do people think it's cool to put a monitor way off to one side like that? It means you have to crane your neck at odd-ass angles all the time just to use it. I think tomorrow I'm breaking out my old split keyboard (which works just fine, I just got a newer one last xmas from my Love) and take it in to solve at least one problem. Ugh, these people obviously don't know what they're doing and have never actually taken into account work flow when they set up crap like this.
I'm also so annoyed with how condescending they are there, in that being insultive and talking down to you way without really saying any one thing which is offensive. Seeing how the owner's sister mom and daughter sister all work there and are in charge (there's only like three other people besides me who aren't family), it makes for a lot of snarky attitude issues. They want me to do something and don't explain the parts I need to know (like how they do things, how they want things done, what they're talking about in terms of verbage and internal process or that the owner gives out a second name for some calls and to expect hearing that name and how he wants it handled in those circumstances) but then way over explain telling me basic shit like I've never worked a computer before or stepped foot in an office (like to click the "excel" icon in the systray to open the program or tell me something three times I already know, or correct me on my pronoun usage - not that I had erred, they just assumed I was doing it wrong which I wasn't, etc.) Yeah, it might be the last year-and-a-half I've been doing the freelance/contractor/temp thing, but it doesn't mean I don't have six years of office experience in everything from reception, to executive assistant to presidents/VP's/owners, to office managers and even a director of telecommunications for fuck's sake! Just because you feel the need to compensate with your pathetic Hummer, doesn't mean I suffer from your issues or that I'm some how stupid or less then you and your family. Grr.
Anyway, it's amazing how long four hours can be. I keep reminding myself that it's easy money for all intensive purposes and that we need the extra money. Of course, I won't get any until after xmas and considering I'm not sure how we're going to afford a tree let alone presents, it doesn't feel really worth it if it's not actually going to help when we need it. *sighs*
Oh, and our moving date is now looking to be the END of January, rather then the beginning. Our current complex wants 30 days notice. But they won't accept a mid-month move day (which is ass since we moved IN mid month). So it couldn't be the first (not 30 days) and had to be pushed back until the 31st. Joy. Another month in this place. Color me thrilled.
Ugh. I'm just crampy and my back is killing me and I'm tired and cranky. I'm going to stop bitching, get ready for bed. Wish I could say I was going to sleep in and put the crabbiness behind me, but alas no. Another 7am wake-up call for me for three more days. Days only go by this slow when I have to wake up in the mornings. On my own time, I don't have enough time because the days fly by so fast they blur one into the next. And here, it's only Tuesday. My stars, help me make it 'til Friday.
Oy. My head is killing me. It's been a vicious cycle. Last night, my ear clogged up - head cold sort of clog where your head feels muffled in cotton - and it's been throwing me off kilter all day. It won't "pop" and everytime I try to make it pop (holding my nose and blowing to force the pressure to give) it just makes me REALLY dizzy. But it's one of those things where it's annoying me so much, I keep trying. Well, all this left-side-of-my-head clogged over thing is making my neck sore and my head in turn is all screwed up from the pressure issue. So now I've been in the low-level stages of migraine all evening. (Everything is WAY overbright, causing afterimages, my head hurts if I think too hard or move pretty much at all, etc.) Bah. This is not helped by having to get up at 7am this morning to take my Love in for work at 8am and then get myself into my new temp job this morning at 9am. Yes, it's only four hours. Yes that's a great thing. But, when you're dizzy, clogged up and your head hurts, it's a miserable way to start a new temp job. Bah. Let's not even get into the fact that I'm sore enough already from the Aunt who's visiting for the week. *grumbles* Every damned month. Overall, I'm just tired, achey and sick of my head being all unbalanced.
We started to watch the Angels In America we recored Sunday tonight, but something's all kinds of wonky with the recording. Dammit. The sound keeps stuttering and it's pretty much unwatchable. After an hour, neither of us could really take it anymore. Which stinks because it's our digital video recorder and we've never had this stutter problem before and we really wanted to see it and enjoyed the first hour so far. Bah humbug. This of course means I'm going to need to get in touch with stupid Time Warner - oh, no, sorry, they're calling themselves "Bright House Networks" now, though it's just another 'division' of TW so buy whoop - and possibly get a new box or something. Grr. There's no point if you can't watch the shows you record.
I made a winter re-theming for the journal, but my head hurts way too much tonight to upload it successfully. I'll put that on the schedule for tomorrow when (hopefully) I'm more clear-headed.
I'm not looking forward to having to get up again tomorrow morning - having only one working car sucks ass - but I'm REALLY not looking forward to finishing the filing work they gave me to help fill my hours. If it were alphabetic filing it wouldn't be a big deal, but it's not. It's eight digit numeric filing - filing by one number, then sub-filing by another - and ouch, that is HARD for me to do. My dyslexia is the worst with numbers. I'll occassionally invert a letter or two, but I see it pretty much right away. Numbers though, ugh. Numbers I have to really concentrate on - not stop to answer a phone and take a message. It's painfully difficult for me. I tried to mention to the woman in all seriousness that it would take me awhile and I'd do my best but that I really do have a problem with numbers, but she really shrugged it off like I was either a dumbass or had sprouted green antleers or something. It's like, uh, no...really. This is just about the worst thing you could ask me to do. No wonder my head hurts.
We might end up having a place to move January 1st. We might be able to get a foward on the security deposit the first place wanted which we can pay back with the fact I'm making income this month. I hope so. We really need a place to move and we were running out of options. We should know tomorrow.
Anyway, I'm going to stop babbling. It's not doing any good for my head and I'm not making a whole hell of a lot of sense. Besides, I think I should lay down and try to get some rest.
Thank goodness it posted. *grumbles* Did I mention I'm not feeling well? So I'm already not joyous and then I'm also hormonal. Fun....cramps my first couple days at a new job. Bah.
We were going to get an xmas tree today, but we lacked the cash. Darnit. It'll have to be next weekend. We walked around the mall all day today with Rand. He shopped, we dragged along behind him. We found a chair we want REALLY bad but seeing as we're poor and the chair is $849 on sale, we'll never have it. Reminds me how much I hate money and life in general some days. Who needs things you love in life when you can have overdue bills and stress instead? *grumbles*
Sorry, bad mood from not feeling well and yeah, those pesky relatives on the way to town. (That's what you call a "woman's joke" Not a good one, mind, but one nonetheless.)
Fucking blogger. Apparently, it not only didn't post the entry last night, but it fucked up the page so there's been NO journal at all since last night. Brilliant.
My Love and I are beat. We think we're both coming down with something. Both of us are sneezing all day and just WAY overtired.
I have my first day tomorrow at my temp job. 9am-1pm. I'm happy I was able to get it part-time. A big relief. Extra income but on a schedule I can handle.
I'm going to try to publish this damned thing seeing as there's been a big blank screen all day. *sighs* Then I'm heading to bed either way.
Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn! First last night and now again tonight! Grrr! Yesterday day I was fine. Then it got dark and as the night wore on, I started getting jittery. Like when you get a shiver or chills (the whole "someone's walking over your grave"/you're skin's crawling from the inside-out kind of feeling) sort of jittery. My whole back feels that way and into my arms and in my chest. Well it happened Friday night and now, once again, as the night wears on, it's happening again. For several hours now, I'm just aggravated because it's a horrible feeling to have so continuously. I'm not hyper, I'm not over-sugared, I'm not over-caffinated, I'm not drunk or high or anything! No medications, no changes in diet, nada! Just this damned annoying incessant skin-crawling feeling! I've tried expending engery, I've tried ignoring it, I've tried calming down, I've tried all sorts of things and nothing's making it go away even in the slightest. It's so frustrating and distracting. What the heck is going on? Is there some massive electromagnetic shift that's wigging my system out? Are there planets out of alignment or some damned solar flare or something? I mean what the hell would cause this type of feeling to come on at night and get worse as the night wears on? I could barely get to sleep last night (at about 3am) despite being tired because I just couldn't get comfortable.
