Yesterday was my mom's birthday. So today I went up to her place and from there we went to the craptacular old theater by her. We met up with my sister and my mom bought tix for The Village. (You know, the new one by M. Night Shyamalan.) It was ok - not with the big twist at the end like he normally does; just two small twists that you clearly saw coming. (Or at least I did.) It was subtle though and not a bad film, just not a great one either. My mom picked what she wanted to see and that's what she chose. It wasn't scary (her main worry) and it wasn't creepy or anything. Eh, it was decent enough I suppose though not great. And, thankfully, none of the barf-inspiring visuals of Borune Supremacy.
It's starting to rain. We've had a lot of rain lately with rain in the forecast all week. August is really our rainiest month though with over 8 1/2 inches on average according to weather.com. We're in the peak of hurricane season too so it's not unexpected. It just means even more power issues though and even less ability to safety run the pc. It's getting really old turning it on once a day.
It's the little things that keep getting to me right now. That keep me on the edge of the tears. I watch as my hair is literally falling out in clumps and I know I'm going to have to cut it all off again soon. This is the second time it's happened in my life. About five-six years ago it happened from a combination of poor health, stress and horrible water. It got so bad that about four years ago I chopped my hair - my beautiful, curly hair that I treasure and that is one of the only things I really like about myself - off to the shoulder. I had to. There was almost nothing left. Then it started growing back and I was so overjoyed. I never thought I'd get it back like that again. It grew long and thick and the curls really returned. I was so happy. Now I see it falling out not by strand but by clump again and I know I'm damned to lose it all over again. And most likely for want of vitamins and water filter. Why is it that such small things are so far out of my reach? Women's daily without iron (because I can't digest the iron) at 90 pills is about $18. The Hair, skin and nails is another $14 or so I think. Just a lot of money I don't have. I cry and it falls out and not only do I not want to cut it (but know I'm going to have to again), but find myself without the money to have it cut either.
The little things. They kill you.
Forget the looming panic over our car dying once and for all. Forget the worry every month over paying the bills. Forget we can't afford car insurance and so risk tickets (more money) and license suspention every time we drive. Forget failing health and absolute inability to see a doctor ever. Forget all of it. Watching my hair scatter all over the house and realizing how little is left on my head just hurts worse.
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 8/9/2004 07:37:38 PM ~
~
