Since I still need a UPS with surge protector to run my computer for any amount of time, (and of course since I'll never have the money to buy one I don't know why I don't just fucking throw the pc out the window for all the good it does me) added to my unbelievably overwhelming depression right now, it's just not worth it for me to even bother turning on my pc lately. It takes too long and I find myself lacking the interest to even skim friend's pages or forums I normally actively participate in. I just don't have the desire at all.
Tried to see The Bourne Supremacy today but it fucking sucked and the director, Paul Greengrass, can kiss my goddamned ass. He should never be allowed to fucking film another movie in his life and moreover, should be dragged out into the street and shot. Repeatedly. I was really looking forward to this film. And I'm fucking broke so seeing a movie was a big splurge. But this fucking director made it so nauseating that you couldn't watch it. Each and every scene - I only wish I were exaggerating - was either a) blurry b) shaky c) out of focus or d) all of the above on crack. The fight scenes and chase secene were literally painful for me and I couldn't watch it. I spent most of the movie with my eyes physically closed. It was hell and I was miserable the whole time. Fuck you you peice of shit for ruining my attempt to get out and do something and enjoy a Saturday afternoon. Fucker.
I'm not here. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. I literally hate life right now. I haven't wanted to die this much since I was a teenager. I just can't figure out what the hell the point of continuing is anymore and it's like it's not even worth trying. I just want to fucking give up. I'm sick of everything.
Yeah whatever. shut the fuck up you whiney ass bitch. I know. even I don't want to listen to myself.
~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream
at 8/7/2004 11:37:14 PM ~
~
