Had a fun day. Wore my flower head wreath and a very spring shirt since it's the first day of Spring today. (A Blessed Ostara to my Pagan friends and a Happy Spring to the rest.) The Ren Faire's new grounds were pretty nice. Woodsy like their old except for where they set up the Human Combat Chess and the Joust field. Those were both in direct sunlight. (ugh and an unrelentless sunlight at that) The weather was great in the shade because there was a nice breeze over the day, but the temp got up around 84ish which is pretty toasty with the sun beating down on you. My Love was such a sweetheart, he got me a rose and also a massage from this massage therapist who had a chair set up in a tent. Very cool. She was amazing. She's local, so I grabbed her card. She immediately found the screwed up part in my shoulder (where it pops in-and-out of place everytime I rotate my right arm) and said I really should get some x-rays and make sure I get it taken care of. Makes sense, but I never thought about it before, she also said that what happens is the muscles all try to hold your back in alignment which causes those bad tension points. My spine could be slowly shifting out of alignment a bit and my right side is trying to compensate but just getting more fucked up in the process is the gist. Which actually sounds pretty logical. We went with our friend Rand, another friend Crystal and her little son. Each of us wanted to get something that was out for the weekend, so we'll need to go back once more (like I wanted to get a vanilla caramel oil for use as a perfume but he was out and didn't have the stuff to mix up a new batch). S'ok, it was actually cool - despite being way far away - so I wouldn't mind hitting it once more this year.
I burnt my lip this evening - scalded it actually - on some pizza sauce of all things. Swelled up, hurt like fucking hell and only now, some three hours later, is it starting to receed in pain. Found out there's very little you can do or put on a lip burn because anything made for burns are either for sunburns or very toxic in the whole you-don't-want-it-on-your-mouth kind of way. Lesson to the wise, don't fucking burn your lip. It's hell.
Tomorow we're heading out to The Happiest Place On Earth. This is (besides my lip burn) turning out to be a really cool weekend. I'm in a really good overall mood and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Should be fun. But right now, I'm super beat from walking around in the sun all day and so I'm heading to bed. Rand took pics (I brought my camera but didn't use it, I just used his instead) so when I get a copy of them, I'll have to post some. For now, I'm out. Hope everyone had a lovely first day of spring.
Me, My Love and my friend Rand went over to my friend Jef's apartment tonight. He had some other people over for dinner and another friend and her boyfriend came by. We also got to meet Jef's new girlfriend for the first time. She seemed really nice and very interested in getting to know his friends. We played some video games - Soul Caliber, Hockey, Eye Toy, etc. - but we had to head out since Rand wanted to get home and we've got to get up early tomorrow. Finally going to hit the Ren Faire. Hope it's cool. Worried about how far away it is and such since they moved it this year for the first time after twenty four years. It's way further away and it's really inconvientely located but we always go a couple times a year so hopefully it will still be cool.
Beyond that, it's Spring! (yeah, the spring layout didn't give that away did it?) I love the changing of the seasons. They're very special days to me. Spring is the time when the world reawakens from it's winter slumber. The world is reborn; new and pure once again. It's just a very amazing process to me and I consider the four season changes to be holy days for me.
Well, need to clean up and get ready for bed. Early day - and busy day! - tomorrow (well, today technically) so perhaps a post later in the evening to sum up if I get a chance. Take care everyone.
Spring In Bloom Well there it is. This is what I worked for three days on. Not much to show for it is there? *chuckles* Oh well. It actually was, for me, a hell of a lot of work. All the old info which used to be on the left-hand column is now in the "about" link which will open here in this same window. That include the info about me, the blog, my read list, etc. Not the best solution, but it wasn't until after I did everything else that I realized I hadn't planned a place for that.
So.....this is it. I took the photo about a year ago and always liked it. Never knew how to incorporate it into a layout until I just started tinkering around with image maps and iframes. *shrugs* I suppose it's a decent enough attempt for someone who's never tried anything like this before.
Feedback welcome - if you love it, hate it or are indifferent. I'll leave this through the start of spring (tomorrow for those who don't realize) until I can work on a replacement layout.
Obviously, I didn't get the theme changed over yet. I actually went out grocery shopping and got the arms adjusted on my sunglasses. Then we watched tv together on the couch most of the evening. I called it an early night and went to bed with my Love around 1am. (Normally I'm in bed about 3:30am or so.) I was just tired.
I really want to get the new theme up, but after working so hard on it and looking at it for so long, I'm not really happy with it. Though I tell myself I should put it up at least for a couple days while I work on something else. (Probably more traditional like a color change to the current layout.) It's just that I put in so much work and yet it feel short of what I wanted it to be and I simply lack the skills and talent to be able to improve upon it further. It's like I've stretched as far as I can and that's the best I can do, despite falling short of intent. Oh well. A long time ago I had the drive and ability to learn new things - taught myself html - but then, somewhere along the way I got lost in the shuffle and now I can't tell you thing one about how to design a page with css rather then tables, how to use php or perl or what the heck you even do with mysql. I feel so far behind so fast that I just can't keep up anymore. And so I gave up a long time ago on web design and instead just went for bland but functional content delivery (all the while watching people do these amazing things with their sites that I could never dream of achieving). Even when I try to do something bolder or more challenging (for me, not for a 12 year old making her first webpage *sighs*) I can't do it and it's just a failure. One of those reminders of how stupid I really am about these things and how lame I can be. I hate that feeling. And I hate when things remind me of that feeling, so I try to stop doing them. Damn me for that little voice which always tries to prompt me anyway, with what seems like good intention but always leads to another damned failure.
Anyway, I'm going to try to figure out how to finish the layout, try to upload it and leave it for a few days. It's sad when the best you can do just isn't all that great, but after all this work and my strong wish to have a spring-theme layout for the start of spring, I suppose it's better then nothing.
I'm trying something utterly different (for me) that's probably stupidly easy for most out there, but is a LOT of work for me. Image maps, css, tables, an iframe - it's just really more then I'm used to. But it's a very simple design that will be pretty much nothing but a photo I took and the journal itself (with a link to read about the author and all that) that I probably will hate as soon as I'm done sweating over it. *laughs* At this point though, dammit, I will get the damned thing to work even if I immediately turn around and change it next week.
Speaking of changes, I'm utterly fed up with my webhost. I can't get them to reply to my requests for support for anything. I haven't gotten the login for my Love's site since the move - like a month ago now - and so I'm officially going to be shopping for a new webhost. I really didn't want to have to deal with all this hassle and move AGAIN, but I refuse to continue doing business with someone who won't get back in touch with me. Billing problems (unapplied payments), inability to check email, or access administrative or ftp for another site and no reply do not bode well with me.
Who do you guys like and recommend?
Out for now. If all goes well, sometime by the end of the day I might have the new theme up. *crosses fingers*
In other news, thank you to everyone who took the time to say such nice things on the posts Monday and Tuesday about Kush. It's really comforting to know that there are so many animal lovers and those who understand the importance our animal companions in our lives and just how much they really enrich us.
I'm doing ok. Had a hard time sleeping last night, but honestly, I had a harder time in the days leading up to the 16th then I did on the day itself. The dread of knowing it was coming was worse. Mika made sure to give me lots of extra attention - climbling all over me like she's prone to do and purring away - so that helped. Plus, she's just so damned cute I can't help but smile when I see her. I'm really happy I brought her home last year. She's really helped me by being such a goof; her silliness always makes me grin. I am worried about next month when it officially turns a year from the loss of Kush and a year of having Mika. Two very emotional days, but in such opposition to each other. Oh well, I'm trying not to think about forthcoming sadness and instead, get through the inbetween days.
I'm hoping this weekend is more adventurous then the last because my Love gets paid on Friday. (finally! Ugh, these two week stretches of being dead broke are HARD! I need a part time job so badly if for nothing else then a little cushion room for bills and living expensives!) I think we're planning on heading to the Renn Faire - finally! This is it's 3rd weekend out of 7 weekends and we normally go a few times a season - and possibly (pending time, energy and money) WDW again. It's been about a month now since we've gone and after getting teased about going last weekend, I'm really eager to get back. I just love the place, I really do. It just makes me feel good to get away like that and have fun and be silly and just spend time someplace you're encouraged to be a kid with someone you love. I really miss it when we don't go. *chuckles* Let's also not forget there's going to be - FINALLY! - a pin of Squirt! (The cute little bably turtle from Finding Nemo.) Previous to this, there were all kinds of Finding Nemo pins - even one featuring some of the supporting "cast" from the film. But none with the turtles! Guess I wasn't the only one who noticed the oversight, because Squirt (and his dad, Crush) are being released this weekend.
isn't he a cutie?
And yes, I am pin-happy. So what? *laughs* They're small and cute and look great on my backpack.
Alrighty well I think I've babbled enough. Few things to do and catch up on - wasn't really online most of yesterday; tried to keep busy with hands-on, crafty type projects. Thank you again to everyone and take care.
Tomorrow will be a hard day for me. Perhaps in ways which some people can't understand. March 16th was Kush-ka's birthday. He would have been 14 this year. For those who don't know, an equally hard day will occur next month as well - April 22nd, the day I had to put him to sleep. For over two years we battled cancer. He underwent two surgeries - both a success - that ultimately failed to save him. The cancer proved too strong and it came back over and over. After consulting with my vet, we decided against a third surgery since he probably would not have been able to take another at his age. The vet gave him a matter of a few weeks to perhaps a couple months. He hung on for about eight months before I finally did the humane thing and put him to sleep. By the end, he was skin, bones and tumor. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.
Some people don't understand how much I love and miss him. They think a cat is just a cat. These people don't understand that your family is more then your bloodline and not limited to those creatures that walk on two feet. I grew up with Kush, my ever-present grey shadow, having in my life from age 13 through age 26. He was there for me in ways no one else ever was. And he gave of himself so deeply; demonstrating that all animals have a gift to teach us - the gift of unconditional love.
So, I've been meloncholy for several reasons, blue in general lately and having a hard time with my depression. Things have gotten dark again recently and I'm struggling more and more to get through my days. Needless to say, a sad day like this isn't making it any easier. If I'm slow to respond; if I'm not paying attention; if I walk away or drift off when I'm speaking to you or fail to get to an email or a message posted, that's some of the reason why. I just ask that you not take it personal.
Everyone take the time to remind your loved ones - all of them four legged or two - how you feel. You can never say it enough and those moments will never come again. Cherish them and cherish your time together. Don't ever let those moments slip by and don't take their presence for granted.
Just kind of rediscovered Rebecca Guay's art on a random search this morning. Forgot how lovely her stuff is. Problem is, there's so much of it that's beautiful - and it's so expensive. From the $90 special edition Osaka Angel to the $30/$60 pages of Magic art - all her lovely angels like "Angelic Renewal" or Serra Hymn, Serra Angel, and Starlight Angel. Bah. Not like I don't already have art I can't even afford to get framed yet - like the limited edition, signed Autumn Foxfire print my friend Rand gave me for xmas and that is still rolled up in the tube since I haven't had a spare $100-200 to get it framed. Bah. Love fantasy art, but not only can't I afford it, I can't afford to frame it when I do get it. Heck, I even bought a print from the Renn Faire like two years ago of Titania by LA Williams and it's still sitting in the shrink wrapped matting (no frame) on the wall. *grumbles*
I was kinda let down today again. But my Love had a great day so that makes up for it a little bit. We originally didn't know what we were going to do for the day. He mentioned going to Disney and since I've been dying to go back and the park's open until 11pm tonight and it was a lovely day and all, I thought that was perfect. Instead, he, our friend Rand and I went to have lunch at Cracker Barrel. Blah. I mean it's fine and all but certainly a let down after planning, dressing and preparing for Disney.
The cool part of the day though was that we remembered on the drive home that Tampa Bay Lightning player Vinney Lecavalier was going to be signing autographs at a local store today. And my Love had just done a drawing of him. So we rushed back, grabbed it and went to the signing. The line wasn't that bad - heard earlier it was out the door - and despite my Love being absolutely terrified that the drawing was stupid and that he was weirded out over having Vinny sign it, he did. Turns out his aprehensions were for nothing - Vinny not only was surprised at having an original drawing, but excalimed that it was cool and awesome. He asked where he wanted it signed and took care to make sure he signed it within the border so we can frame it. Made my Love's day. And honestly, I'm really happy for him about that and how cool Vinny was over the image. Something we would have missed out on had we gone to Disney. It was a real boost to his ego and he's really pleased about it - and I don't blame him.
admiring the picture
the signed drawing (bad dig pic just to show it)
We'll be selling prints and eventually the original as well from his site as soon as we can get them - and several other peices - printed up. If someone's interested, let me know and we'll get you on the list. :)
So, it was a great day for him. But, I had gotten my hopes up on Disney so that was a bit of a let down. He says we'll go next weekend, but we already have plans to hit the Ren Faire and I don't think we'll have the energy - let alone the money - to do both. Bah. Had my heart set on one of those yummy Dole Pinapple Floats too. (pinapple soft-serve in pinapple juice - it's actually quite yummy)
Oh well. Still a decent day and I'm really proud of my Love for the compliments he received from Vinny today.
