Nothing like the sounds of yet more techno music from the neighbors in the morning.... When I say that this goes on literally every. single. day. often for an hour each time and quite regularly more then one time a day, I mean it.
On better news, look! my very first international penguin! :) I'm happy she got it and that she thinks it's cute. You too can get one yourself. (I sell my penguins, horns and jewlery at all times, so don't think that it's over because it's always open for business. (And I've added some new items ready, in stock and for sale on the PhoenixFire Designs site and more are ready, I just need to get them photographed and on the site!
Ok, I'm up so I'm going to go brush my teeth and such (mm...morning breath...). Ta for now.
Well, now it's legal, it just doesn't start... I ended up being late into work this morning because I had to call the insurance company and go ahead and add the second car to the policy. Somehow we need to now come up with like $230 for the addition of his car. It's beyond me what we're going to do. Love stayed home today because he wasn't feeling well so when I got off work, I came and got him and off to the tax collectors we went. I was worried about the cost of renewing the two-year expired tag (having nightmares of fees and charges) but it was only $41. *whew* So, now we have an insured and validly registered car... that doesn't run, needs a battery, tires and who knows what else after sitting for almost two years. We need to somehow find the money to fix it in addition to the money to pay for the insurance change and both relatively soon or it really is pointless. We need a second car again though so if we can figure something out, perhaps it will make it easier for me to find a permanent, part-time job (and hence, not be so broke when problems exactly like this.)
Lord Stanley's Cup Round one of the NHL Playoffs are going on right now. The Lightning won their first game last night against the Islanders 3-0. My Love's fav team, the Boston Bruins won their first game Wednesday against Montreal also 3-0 and won tonight as well with an overtime win 2-1. He was happy. The funny thing is though that if the Bruins beat out Montreal in the first round and the Lightning beat out the Islanders, the second round will see it Lightning vs. Bruins. Ouch. My Love's been a Bruins fan for like 24 years but he also really likes our local boys and wants them to do good. It'd be an interesting series to say the least. ;)
Hair Dye - the continuing saga My Love and I were kind of bored tonight and despite not feeling well, he offered to go out to Super Wal-Mart and pick out some hair dye. I said no partly because I knew he wasn't feeling well and didn't want to make him get out and about, but also, I'm really torn. Seems so many people - way more then I ever thought - like me with my natural, brown hair that I'm torn. I thought it would have been a landslide, but...guess there's a lot who like it as is. Maybe it's not as boring as I think of it. Or maybe it's just that I need to do something different and not that it looks bad. The numbers look like this:
Yes! Go for a dark red like a more burgandy color! - 6 votes 29% Yes! Go for a brighter red like a fire engine color! - 4 votes 19% Yes! Go for a more orange-red color! -2 votes 10% No! Your hair is behaving, don't stress it out! - 2 votes 10% No, you look better as a brunette! - 7 votes 33%
Now, there were also 4 comments to go red (don't know if they voted also) and one comment to stay brown. Adding it all up, going red - any shade, just red - 12 votes poll/4 comments; staying brown - 9 votes/1 comment. It's much closer then I would have guessed. And still, I'm torn. *chuckles* How silly, eh? Better to ponder my hair color though I suppose the stress over the 2nd car situation. At least it's not going to be towed now. Fucker's legal and they can't do anything about it.
Oh well. Alright, this was a mostly pointless entry but I hadn't written one yet today so I felt like I should. Few random tangents and I'll close.
Blame Lorena. She's the one who suggested I buy some Pom Wonderful after I saw it in the store and pondered what in the world pomegranates tasted like and why they were $3.89/bottle (16oz. size bottle!). I now know. In fact, I've bought the pom/cherry (too tart) and the pom/blueberry (tastes like blueberry pancakes to me). Problem is that my Love had a fit when he saw it was the afore-mentioned $3.89/bottle. But it is uber healthy for you! Super high in antioxidants. And I'm supposed to make sure to take them because of my cataracts. And it's not like I eat "green, leafy vegetables" that they're commonly found in (bleck!). The health argument won out. And I'm trying to get them every couple days/once a week and drink some just to get some antioxidant intake. It's an expensive but interestingly tart, tasty and just odd way of doing it.
Forgotten second tangent I had another thing to blather about but then I spent so much time thinking about the Pom Wonderful (and no, I still don't know why the damned juice is so pricey! hey you! Yeah you! go buy some. maybe the price will go down if it's not such a quirky item!) that I forgot. So I guess I'll just close. Nighters.
I hear it through my master bedroom wall. We're reported it to the apartment complex numerous times (after it woke me up at 7:30am on a Saturday morning) but they still do it. Grr. It's 10:45pm. Time to turn the fucking shit off
Car Problems... We need to figure out something to do with our second car too. Been "parked" er, illegally for the last year and a half. It broke down, we didn't have the money to get it fixed so we let the tags expire and took it off the insurance. We backed it into a parking space and let it be. Well, now the complex has ticketed it with a notice they're towing it tomorrow. Nice of them to give us time to deal with it, hu? So we can either add it to our insurance (basically doubling our premuim) and then pay for a new tag, or we need to find a way to have it towed somewhere that it can be stored. I tried looking up information on what you need to do to legally store a car in the state of florida with no damned luck. An hour and a dozen pages later, I couldn't find anything. DMV, County Site, Tax Collector, State of Florida - nada. I had thought that if you had the car covered (as in one of those protective cover thingies) that it could "park" without valid tags (which we apparently should have turned in, oops.) but I couldn't find anything either way. Not word one. Found plenty of info for other states, but nothing for Florida. Anyone have a clue out there? Anyway, my Love's going to talk to them tomorrow and see if they'll give us a few days to try to make arrangements. Ultimately, we had wanted to fix the car, but we don't know what's wrong with it and this point, it would probably be like a few hundred to have it all checked out. We just never have that much available cash on hand. Which stinks because I don't know what we're going to do to resolve the situation. We could REALLY use having a second car again - it'd make me working a part-time job on a permanent basis a hell of a lot more possible - but, we just don't have the extra to get it done. It's one of those catch-22's: need the car to make money, but can't make money without the car. *sighs* Just another thing to stress out over. Joy.
Friday Oh thank goodness tomorrow's Friday. I can't wait for the weekend. Getting out from under those damned lights for two days and sleeping in. (Though Sunday we have to get up and head out to my Love's family Easter brunch.) Tomorrow is also pay day for me so while it's little more then pocket change, it's a little extra to help tide us over for the week. Always a good thing. They interviewed someone on Wednesday but the owner seemed not to really like her - heard him on the phone with his dad saying he wasn't all that impressed - so I think the search continues. As much as I can't wait to sleep in again, and as much as these lights are just killing me, I really want the job to last as long as possible to help bring in some extra income. It's so easy if it weren't for the transportation issue (me needing to get up at 7am so I can get my Love into work before I come back, get myself ready and then get in for my own 9am start time. Makes my day a LOT longer then just the four hours I'm there) and the lighting. I have so very little actual work to do that it's impossibly easy. Albeit very, very slow and boring. Better then hectic and stressful though.
Well, I need to hop in the shower and get ready for bed so the longer I do this, the less sleep I'll get. Better head off for now. Night to all.
It's pretty silly that this amazing form of connection, which spans the globe and brings together people of all races, history and lifestyle is currently being used to debate dying my hair. *chuckles*
So far it seems pretty evenly mixed. Six have voted for red in one shade or another (with the most common being a darker red), five have voted to stay brunette because they prefer it while one shares my concern and says stay brown just so you don't screw your nicely behaving hair up. There's also two "go for red!" comments for the entry, but I don't know if they're duplicates or not. How interesting though. I never would have thought that many people would say to stick with the natural brown. Learn something new every day.
Well, was back in work today and despite the fact I made sure to get sleep, my head's not feeling 100%. I think I'm just getting ever more sensitive to fluorescent lighting. Four hours directly under four double sets of lights (might be six, think it's four) just seems more then my eyes can handle. Which really stinks. I don't know what I can do about it short of never being in an office. (not all that financially helpful) Companies refuse to understand the impact that the flicker has on people - and not just those hyper sensitive to it like myself. Studies have shown that everyone has negative health reactions to it ranging from eye strain, to headaches, to increase in stress levels. Despite the fact most people can't perceive the flicker (I can which is why I'm more sensitive to it them most), their eyes know it's there and are stuck trying to compensate continuously for the slight on-again-off again nature of the lights. And it's more dangerous then it seems on the surface.
Complaints about fluorescent lighting are not unusual. Some people find that they develop headaches or have problems concentrating in fluorescent light. Based on what I've read on the subject, these complaints may be linked to two aspects of the lighting: Fluorescent bulbs don't provide the full spectrum of natural light (and don't distribute the wavelengths as well as incandescent bulbs), and they flicker at rates that some people believe interfere with mental and nervous system function. source
* If your eyes are irritated by the glare from your office's overhead fluorescent lighting, turn it off, and try using a non-glare floor lamp and a desk lamp for light sources to illuminate your materials.
"Many of my patients report that working on computers with overhead fluorescent lighting feels harsh on their eyes," says Dr. Brisco. "There are full spectrum bulbs and non-glare light bulbs and all kinds of floor and desk lamps that can remedy this situation. Keep the light off your computer and on your papers. Full spectrum lights can make a big difference," she says. source
People with agoraphobia can be sensitive to light. Their heart rate is increased when fluorescent lighting flickers imperceptibly. Watts, F.N. and Wilkins, A.J. (1989). The role of provocative visual stimuli in agoraphobia. Psychological Medicine, 19, 875-885. / Hazell, J. and Wilkins A.J. (1990). A contribution of fluorescent lighting to agoraphobia. Psychological Medicine 20, 591-596.
Fluorescent lighting causes eye-strain and headaches. Wilkins, A.J., Nimmo-Smith, I.M., Slater, A. and Bedocs, L. (1989). Fluorescent lighting, headaches and eye-strain. Lighting Research and Technology, 21(1), 11-18.
With most fluorescent lamps the rapid imperceptible flicker is greatest for the blue and green components of white light. Rose-brown glasses therefore reduce the flicker. Wilkins, A.J. and Wilkinson P. (1991). A tint to reduce eye-strain from fluorescent lighting? Preliminary observations. Ophthalmic and Physiological Optics, 11, 172-175.
The glasses may sometimes prevent headaches in people who use visual display terminals under fluorescent lighting and in children suffering from migraine. Good P.A., Taylor R.H. and Mortimer M.J. (1991). The use of tinted glasses in childhood migraine. Headache, 31, 533-536. source
Ballasts are an essential component of any fluorescent lighting system, providing a controlled current to the fluorescent tubes. In an office or industrial setting, the standard type of ballast used for the last few decades is an electro-magnetic type, which unfortunately produces a number of negative side-effects:
* They operate at 60Hz, or cycles per second - the frequency of the AC voltage they run on. This means that each lamp switches on and off 120 times per second, resulting in a barely perceptible flicker and a noticeable hum (sounding like a buzzing low ?A? note on a piano). About 25% of the population is sensitive to ballast flicker and hum and actually can become physically ill, with symptoms such as headaches, nausea, itching and burning eyes, tension, eye fatigue, and general fatigue.
* Operating at 60Hz, they may cause a stroboscopic effect with any machinery which has parts, such as pulleys or gears, running at speeds that are a multiple of 60Hz. The stroboscopic effect will cause the machine to appear motionless, which could be a deadly hazard.
* The most commonly used electro-magnetic ballast, the rapid-start type, draws 2-3 watts even if the lamp is switched off, a sizable expense in a building with many lamps. This ballast draws current even if the fluorescent tubes are removed.
* They give off excessive EMF (Electro-Magnetic Fields), considered a potential cancer-causing agent.
* Any of the electro-magnetic ballasts produced prior to 1978 contain PCB?s - a known carcinogen.
* Not energy-efficient, with a relatively short life span of about 10 years.
* During the final 30% of their lifespan they consume the same amount of energy, while producing far lower light levels. source
Not to mention, they give off UV Radiation (more so then your computer monitor ever could in it's lifespan), contain toxic componants like mercury and museums and archival stores won't use them because they damage, fade and can corode paper. There's also been some evidence to show that it's causing skin cancer - malignant melanoma because of the UV radiation given off.
Anyway, I could go on, but you get the point. So I don't know what to do about the whole fluorescent problem. Because it's unlikely I can convince my temp job - or any future one - to address it in the serious health concern that it needs to be. Someone with a medical condition such as epilespy (of which, migraines are a related neurological condition!) would be accounted special concessions to ensure their health, so why am I not? Why am I forced to deal with something damaging to me? Hell, why is anyone? Just because I'm in the 25% of the popuation who's hyper sensitive to them doesn't mean everyone isn't being damanged by them. It's bullshit and I'm sick of it being brushed aside as if it were of no importance.
*sighs*
I need to run and pick up my Love from work. But I'm really at a loss over the whole damned lighting situation. I refuse to endanger my health and now that we've ruled pretty much everything else out, leaving only the lighting problem as my trigger, the question is what can I do about it?
I've been debating about going back to red hair for awhile now. I liked it when it was red, but the thing is that it's been behaving so well lately - curling in such a great way and all - that I'm nervous about stressing it out. What good will it be if it's red, but it won't curl or it's all blecky? (And yeah, I don't know what "blecky" is either, but it seemed to fit.) Right now, it's very dark on top for the first, oh, maybe 6-8" and then it gets lighter from there because it's grown out a lot since the last time I had dyed it red.
If I do dye it red, I'm not sure what type of red to go for. I refuse to bleach my hair first so results are never as vibrant as if I had light hair to start. My Love wants something more in the orange-red type color, but I think it'd look awful with my skin tone. I lean more towards either a really bright, candy apple red or something darker like a burgandy. Then again, it's not that it looks bad now in the variations of the brunette, but... I might be up for a change for spring.
To help, I have gone red in the past - back in 2001 (bad shot but good lighting to show the color) and in 2002 here (though it was really short then) or here. In comparison, you can see it brown here or here.
I'm just worried that it will stop wanting to curl and get dry if I dye it. It's been awhile since I dyed it and last time I did it was short so the curl factor wasn't really a factor then. I'd definately use an "easier on the hair" no amonia type one but....still. Nervous. Though I kinda want to do it and everytime I hit the store, I glance over the red dyes. (Can't do it either way this week - broke - but, I'm gathering thoughts because I'm getting more serious about actually doing it again.)
In an desperate effort to break this migraine cycle I've been dealing with, I called in this morning. I barely slept last night and it dawned on me that the other factor which is different - and which acts as a trigger for me (besides florescent lighting) is lack of sleep. And I've been getting very little sleep lately. By the afternoon, it catches up with me and come evening, I've got a full-blown migraine again. So today I purposefully slept in. And so far, my head is perfectly fine. By this point of the day the last week, it would already be well underway for an attack. I think I've found my problem. I need to get more sleep during the week. It's hard for me though because I'm simply not tired at 11 - 11:30pm when I should be going to sleep for an eight hour night's rest. Not even close. So I normally end up going to bed like 1 - 1:30am and there's the problem. The alarm goes off at 7am and I've only gotten six hours at most. I know me and I know that's not enough.
Hopefully this will break the chain though and I can keep on being migraine-free the rest of this week. I just have to try to make a really concerted effort to getting to bed early enough that I'm not unwittingly leaving myself open for a migraine. I'm just really relieved that I may have come across the solution. Because I have to say, I was really, really getting worried about how things were going and how I'd never had that many days straight of migraines like that before in the almost eleven years of having them. I pay a lot of attention to what I eat and such to avoid my triggers to limit the number of attacks I get so it really threw me for a loop that suddenly things were way outside the pattern of my migraines. How do you deal with something that you've never had happen before, you know? So it was scaring me. But, I feel a little better today - above and beyond my head feeling normal! - in that now I know something else to watch for and perhaps another thing to avoid. It feels better to be able to approach a problem with possible solutions rather then facing a problem you don't even fully understand.
So I'm mad that I had to call in but I'm very happy to have (hopefully) broken this cycle. And I'm hopeful that by getting enough sleep, I might better be able to deal with the flicker of the lights. Not that I'll ever like it or that it won't always be a strain, but perhaps if I'm not battling sleepiness, it won't lead so instantly to an attack.
Anyway, that's it. Just a bit of a positive note after so many bad days. I'm doing laundry today (greatly overdue, but I've just felt so shitty that I haven't been able to get to it) and also updating my PhoenixFire Designs site with peices of jewelry and such that's ready on-hand to sell. Please feel free to take a look, I'm eager and excited to have things to sell. :)
Alright, enough blathering for now, I've got some more work to do. Ta.
Fuck. There's just something wrong with my head. Fifth day in a row that it feels like a migraine is coming on, slowly but surely as the day goes on. The later it gets, the worse my head feels. Right now it's hurting so bad I had to have my Love arrange transport home because I don't feel safe to drive. I feel so sick to my stomach. what the hell is going on with my head?? I don't know what to do anymore and it's scaring me how bad it hurts and how it's not going away.
The auto parts place lied. Whomever thought that Oxford white was even remotely in the actual range of white is an idiot.
There are three shades of primary white for the 1995 Ford Mustang. I now know that "oxford" isn't mine. Of course, I only now know this after attempting to repair the paint where it was peeling up from the roof of the car and the passanger side back panel and seeing that I have this horrible, murky, fucking sickly GREY paint there instead.
*cries*
And to add insult to injury, despite sanding down the spot that had gotten rusted and having chipped away the paint where it was coming up and off the roof, it's still chipping past the point were we painted it. So to sum. Paint chipping. Bare metal showing. Painted two spots in utterly the wrong color (on the advice of the auto parts person as to which color we needed). Paint still chipping.
Fourth day in a row where I wake up ok, but as the day goes on, it feels like a migraine is looming larger and larger. Gods I can't deal with my head like this... I can only hope it's a background thing and doesn't come full-force because I won't be able to deal with it. Normally, it's like one then the day after I feel hesitant and worried that it might come back, but it never does. So it's crazy that so many days in a row it's been this way, lurking and getting worse as the day moves into evening. Just doesn't make any sense and I can't fathom any cause for this awful trend lately. All I know is that it needs to stop.
We and saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today, just my Love and I. We were both interested in it but hadn't yet had a chance to go. First off, it's a very original, artsy and very well made film. It's just not at all mainstream and I think many people would hate it. It had the surreal feeling of Vanilla Sky and the disorientation of Memento. But it was powerful. Honestly emotional in this way that you could feel it and it made you hurt, down deep in the center of your chest. It's hard to explain. But it was dark and scary almost - this struggle he goes through trying not to lose what he thought he wanted gone. It makes you feel desperate to cling to your own memories and you realize that all those moments - the good, the bad; the ones which make you smile and the ones that make you cry - are all so vital and so much a part of us that losing them would be losing who we are.
The film is subtle and blunt at the same time. Scenes are distorted as in dreams and yet vivid and more real then life. You watch these moments; these memories of his and in the film, peice-by-peice of the background and set vanishes or goes blank. You can focus on them and watch slowly at first and then with greater speed, as it all fades out to nothing. You watch it feeling like Joel (Jim Carey pulling off a wonderful dramatic role) himself; trapped in the collapsing house of cards. It evokes a sense of desperation and a darkness more looming and final then death.
Came out of it very contemplative. The world outside seemed brighter and full of potential. It's a good movie which makes you not only think, but challenges your pereception and place in the world. I like it, and I recommend it, though I can see easily how some - perhaps many - would utterly hate it. It's one of those artistic films that's not so much about a story as it is about an experience.
Anyway, we started trying to repair part of the chipped paint on the car and it's been sitting awhile to dry. I need to head out there and see if I can smooth down the edges and try another coat. But I had to comment on the film while it was fresh in my mind. Huh. That's almost funny. Commenting about having the movie active in my memories when the film is about losing memories. An ironic and unintentional bit of almost humor there.
So it should be 9:45am but of course with the damned daylight saving time, it's not. I really hate DST. It serves no purpose these days and pretty much everyone I know finds it a nuisance rather then any supposed help.
Last night I got another full-on migraine. Third day in a row that one was looming over me by the evening, but the first to truly break out completely. I found the old rx of imitrex in with all the failed perscriptions of mine and despite it being old and that it didn't work when I originally took it (hence there being some left over when it only comes NINE to a pack) I took some. In fact, I took three (they were only 25mg pills so it's not as bad as it sounds). I simply was at my breaking point. I can't keep enduring these migraines and honestly didn't care what happened so long as I didn't have to be in pain again.
Didn't seem to work at first. Then it slowly seemed that it wasn't getting worse, but it wasn't really getting better. Felt like it got halted. I was able after about an hour to fall alseep some which I did. And I slept for a few hours and that helped. By the time I got up, it was gone. So I'm not sure if it was the imitrex, the sleep, or the combination of both, but I didn't care. It was gone. Though when I woke up (sometime after midnight), I was unbelievably tired but my mind was racing. And I was very woozy and unbalanced. Tried to fall back asleep for about an hour without luck before I was finally able to calm down my racing head enough to sleep.
Woke up this morning, discovered that it was an hour later then it should be and got up. Wasted another Saturday miserable and in hell. Fun. Now I'm tired (but not really, just worn out I think), and sore (all-over achey) but I want to salavage at least one day of my weekend.
