We went out a bit today with our friend Rand to run some errands. I got home and literally fell down. It was sit my ass on the floor by choice or drop to the ground anyway. I chose the former. I laid down for a couple hours of fitfull, fevered dozing. Got up, ate something felt a smidge better (the smidge being that I didn't feel so ready to pass out.). We all watched Timeline on dvd which I liked but the dialoge was damned weird. (It had the feeling like they were improvising it.) I think I'm interested in reading the book now though because it was a cool story/idea and you know books are always better then their movie counterparts. (It'd also make a great, cheap b-day gift. Used copies are selling on amazon for as little as a penny. I don't mind a used book so long as it doesn't smell - especially of mold or cigarettes. Just saying.) At the very least, I'm curious to see what the story was in it's original form.
My Love has his company's damned conference this week off at a hotel so it means I'll be seeing very little of him starting tomorrow. Early mornings and late nights. It's where all the clients come in, get training and an excuse to drink on the beach in Florida on the company's dime. I hate it. And it's annual, so he's doing it for a week each year. He's got to go over there tomorrow afternoon - taking our Sunday away from us - because they're starting classes tomorrow rather then Monday. (Since he's the in-house MIS manager, all the pc's for the training and the equiptment are up to him to have ready, all software installed, configured and whatever else they need are his responsibility.) Have I mentioned just how much I hate the damned thing? It's such bullshit too because they expect him to be on-call like 24/7 but don't pay him anymore then 8 hours a day - even when he's there at 7am and home at 8pm. Fucking pisses me off. Not like he likes it any better but still.
*grumble*
Bad enough I don't get a full weekend with him and that I won't have any time with him this week, but I've got a damned cold from who knows where and so I'm miserable today and we couldn't even do anything. Bah.
Anyway, I'm cranky because I'm running a fever again and my head's starting to hurt. I better close. Hope everyone's feeling better then I am and are enjoying their weekend.
I Love My Love My Love brought me home a dozen red roses yesterday to cheer me up. He's such a sweetheart. He said he knew I was having a bad day and wanted to help cheer me up. Aw...
Sore Throat This morning I woke up with the worst sore throat. My nose runs almost all the time (allergy stuff) but my throat never hurts unless I'm really sick. It's still hurting. All day, having to answer the phone and stuff with my throat scratchy, swollen and my voice weak and cracked. It sucks. It really hurts and I don't know why. It's a little red if you look at it but it doesn't look anywhere near as raw as it feels.
Gmail After hearing everyone talk about the Gmail thingy and seeing how so many people were curious about it and everytime I logged into blogger it offered me the chance to sign up, I thought I would. So I now have memoryanddream@gmail.com as an email address just for the hell of it. I sent myself some emails back and forth just to test it out. First off, at the moment anyway, it's fast. Like instant more like. The emails sent and arrived on both sides immediately. I'm sure once it's out of beta and there's tons of people using it, it won't be that way. The whole "converation" thing is odd, different but kinda neat. Each reply defaults as a small tabbed sort of view with a preview of the first sentence or so. But you can expand it so you can see ALL the replies. It's threaded like a message board.
default
expanded
Like I said, odd, but actually might be helpful for on-going conversations with people. I don't really need another email address but eh, thought I'd be one of the "few" to try it out. So far, there were no ads (except on the welcome email where it pointed out where the adds would be). I wonder if it's because I purposely mentioned things like "poop" and "kitties" and "cheese" just to see what it would come up with. Either that or they really are looking into the privacy concerns and legal threats being brought up against them. Eh. No biggie. I mean there's no reason to think that hotmail or yahoo isn't keeping track of your emails; google's just the first to admit they're scanning them for ad purposes. If you're really all that worried about it, wait until you get home to talk to the person rather then use email. Or if you must use email, then write it out in a passworded word file or other passworded attachment and poof, no more worry.
Lightning Strikes Watched the first game of Round Two tonight. Lightning started off their second round best-of-seven series with a HUGE win of 4-0 against Montreal. Whoo hoo! Good job Bolts! ;) It was a really good game to watch too. They really outplayed the Canadians - something I love to see.
Um, well, that's my update for now. Nothing much else to say. Thanks to everyone for their kind words of support yesterday. It's really appreciated. Take care all.
First off, my day started with me getting ill in the restroom. My Love had to get to work (he was already running late at that point) and so had to leave - with the car. See, normally, I get up, take him in, come home, hurry up and get ready then get myself into work. Well, he had to leave, me still in the bathroom sick leaving me sans car. So when I got out, I had to call in because I had no way of getting there. Fuck.
Then, if that weren't enough of a bummer, today is the one year anniversary of the day I had to put Kush-ka to sleep. I was crying last night, thinking how a year ago yesterday he was alive and a year ago today he wasn't. I didn't put him in his carrier that last ride to the vet. I put a blanket on my lap and let him lay on me, looking out the window if he wanted. He was so calm. When we got there, I couldn't get out of the car. He and I sat in there for probably 45 minutes. I let him walk around and he laid down in the driver's seat. I took the very last photos of him in the car. The sun was hitting him and he had that Kush almost-smile look on his face. He loved sunbeams like nobody's business. Eventually, I picked him up and went inside. I stayed with him a little bit more in the room. Holding him, talking to him, telling him how much I loved him. I couldn't stay through the end though. My mom met me there and she stayed with him. I gave him a final kiss on his head and went to the lobby with my Love. He held me. A few minutes later my mom came out and said it was over. I was so happy my mom stayed in there. I didn't want him to be alone, but I couldn't be in there; I couldn't watch him die.
We left all crying. I got a milkshake from the Buger King next door. I needed something to drink and my Love suggested it. He took me to a bead store after that. To distract me because I wasn't ready to go home yet to the empty apartment. I bought some stuff. I don't even really remember what. When we finally did go home, I walked in and got changed. Put on my pj's. My Love took his condo and stuff out of the living room so I wouldn't have to see it. I laid down for a few hours and slept fitfully. It was the first night in a long time that I didn't have him laying at my feet.
That week, I got back his ashes. And the vet's office sent three red roses and a card. It was very sweet of them. The roses are actually hanging still on the wall. It was so hard because it was so empty there. I was so alone.
That weekend, I was randomly surfing. And for some reason I came across the county SPCA website. I started looking at the kitties for adoption. One of them stood out; a cute tabby with these big, green eyes. The next day, Sunday, we went. With the intention of just looking. I asked them to bring out a couple kitties. I can't even remember what the others were. But one of them I came across was that tabby from the website. Something about her I just liked. I didn't mean to, but I found another kitty. I brought her home that very day. Five days after I lost Kush. I hadn't meant for it to be so soon. It wasn't planned that way. But it just kinda happened.
It was weird at first. She was a little scared of the new environment and hiding under the bed. She wasn't Kush. I knew logically she wouldn't be, but I almost expected her to act like he did. She was her own kitty and over the next day or two she really warmed up to us. She was so strange though and at first I think I regretted bringing her home. I thought I was being disloyal to Kush's memory by having another kitty so soon. It wasn't that at all. I just needed something in my life though that was good and new and happy.
Mika still confounds me sometimes. She's so weird. She's cute and funny and she definately likes me more then anyone else (which actually bothers me since Kush loved my Love as much as me) but she's still not Kush. She's Mika and I've come to accept that. Doesn't mean I don't still miss him though. Because I do. Badly sometimes. I miss the way he looked at me with such knowing in his eyes. Kush transcended the "pet" label; he and I had a relationship that was very special and very important to me. He was family in the way few others could ever be. I really believe that he and I were meant to be together.
So I miss him today. And as the day goes on to the point where, a year ago, I took him to the vet, I grow more sad and feel more distanced from him. Time's just moved on way too quickly and it's hard to know how much we have to leave behind and how fast it all goes away.
It's not a good day and I'm just feeling really low; and like I've failed in so much today. I don't know why or what exactly, but it all seems so far out of my grasp. Anyway, it's a hard day. And I just feel like curling up and sleeping so I don't have to face it, or any other right now.
(See? And to think, all it took was putting a picture of my pussy on my blog! )
Yeah, I'm having fun using my board's smilie faces.
Man I'm tired. Didn't end up getting to bed until like 1am last night. Six hours of sleep followed by four hours under the fluorescent lighting is a recipe for disaster. Ugh, I can't wait to be out of here. My eyes are killing me. That something's pushing on them from behind feeling. Always a bad sign. Generally one of the first stages of an ensuing migraine.
Angel's new tonight and so is The West Wing. We also have the reveal from the Barry Manilow American Idol episode tonight, so a busy night of tv. (And yeah, I can be a bit of a tv junkie, but almost all of the shows I watch are on Wednesday night. Except for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy which is on Bravo on Tuesdays. That's a great show.)
Um... *hums* I think I got distracted from whatever it was I was going to talk about by television. D'oh! So what if a new study links short attention spans with tv? Your point? *ooh look! Shiny object*
Alright, enough with the silliness, I'm just babbling, so I'll close for now. Besides, I think I need to get up and walk around the building a bit (A non-smoker smoke break) to get out from under these lights. Ta for now.
I hate my fucking apartment complex Note on the door today. Lease is expired, blah blah. Starting May 1st if you want to continue in month-to-month you'll need to pay $151 total in penalities a MONTH. If you want to renew, we'll keep you at the same rate, but you will have to pay $26/month for water (used to be paid for by the complex, isn't any longer). Let us know
They can't give us TEN DAYS to decide! They make us give them SIXTY days for a notice of intent to leave. The very least legally it seems to me that they could make us pay a HUGE difference or renew would be THIRTY days, right? That has to be illegal. What the fuck? I don't want to be tied here another FULL YEAR but fuck, ten days to decide whether or not I want to pay $151 a month extra?? There's no WAY we could - or ever WOULD pay - that much for this apartment. Fuck.
I hate my fucking complex. I hate them so fucking much.
Man, I must be uber boring. No one comments anymore. *chuckles* Not to mention... All my friends are MIA from YIM (leaving me very little to do in the mornings at my temp job). The boards are slow and dull. And, I've not gotten any mail in awhile. Blah. I can't believe no one even appreciated my shameless birthday plugs or my really, really silly pictures of a stuffed mickey all over magic kingdom. Humph.
Um, ok, I know. You guys will be powerless to resist my tabby cat! I'll pimp her out for the "awwww" factor!
*crickets*
Damn you guys are hard to please. I was sure that the overly cute picture of Mika would do it. Hrm. How about a really bad joke? Why did the 101 dalmations stop playing tag? They kept getting spotted!
*even the crickets have gone home*
Bah. It's 11:30am on a Tuesday. It's damned boring and I can't be entertaining all the time. Sometimes I'm downright dull. What to do when I can't think of any original content myself...? Oh, I know, steal some from someone else!
News of the Weird (and yeah, it's all real)
David Boyd announced as a candidate for the Canadian Parliament, from Halifax, on a platform of marriage reform, specifically to permit same-sex, group and human-android marriages (March).
Now I know people who LOVE their computer, but damn, that's going just a bit to far.
Least competent criminals A pickup-truck driver was arrested by an Indiana state trooper because its cargo was blocking sight of the license plate in the back window; on closer inspection, the cargo was revealed to be 900 pounds of marijuana (Indianapolis, March).
One has to wonder how much of tat was smoked by said driver before going out on the road like that!
And in Lafayette, Ind., Joshua K. Kochell, 27, was charged with robbing two gas stations; his probation officer was able to track his whereabouts precisely that evening because Kochell was still wearing an electronic monitor from a 2001 sentence for theft (March).
Just too dumb for words.
A photo technician at a CVS drugstore in Advance, N.C., notified police in March when someone dropped off film showing two male employees of a local Wendy?s, in bathing suits, frolicking in the sink where the restaurant?s pots and pans are washed.
Just wrong. (And eww!)
And last but not least, from the freaks file...
From a March Boston Globe interview with Morgan Lee, newly crowned Miss Gothic Massachusetts: (asked how she would describe Goth) "It's really a style and a way of thinking. Basically, you?re miserable all the time. (W)e just see the darker side that other people tend to ignore. The most interesting people are always the saddest." (Asked what her boyfriend thinks of her): "He's very proud of me. (H)e's not a very descript person, kind of like an amoeba, but very cultured."
The sad thing is that I've seen people like this. A lot.
Alright, well. I hope I've given some reason to comment now...I mean surely, something was terrible, interesting or just down-right desperate enough to warrent some feedback? *laughs* Come on guys, I'm bored here, help a sister out! ;) Ciao.
*yawns* So beat. Two days in a row, walking around all day in the sun.
I got something really cool at the park yesterday. I had been wanting one for months now. My Pal Mickey. What a cool bit of technology. Carry him around and he buzzes and laughs when he has something to tell you. He could be telling you about the ride you're next to, or that a parade is going to start soon, or that the lines are short at something, or, most often a joke. I had so much fun with him! In fact, I took pics all over the park with him I need to put into a gallery. Pal Mickey knows where he is in the park because he picks up on little sensors, so when you pass Dumbo, he told me a joke about Dumbo. When we were walking past the Buzz ride, he told me about helping to defeat Emperor Zurg. It was so cool. He works in all four parks, so now we need to go to the other ones as well to see what he has to say there. He was afraid of ghosts (even commenting ON RIDE at the Haunted Mansion that he was scared!), got mad at the Pirates in the Pirates of the Carribean, and talked about gold in the mountains of Big Thunder. I liked his ride comments the best. His jokes were all groan-worthy but amusing. (Why did Dumbo quit the circus? They wanted him to work for peanuts!) He's really cool and I'm enjoying the heck out of him. (another good article here).
Um.... *hums* I got distracted reading articles on Pal Mickey and forgot what I was going to talk about. For those looking for birthday presents, you know, no pressure or anything, just trying to be helpful *chuckles* I've been wanting to pick up this from the Ren faire both last year and this year but didn't. Didn't realize they had an ebay shop. Cool. Talked to the owner the first time I was there about getting a triple goddess pendant made and he said he's going to work on it - and he might even name it after me. *grins* That'd be too cool. The other thing I like is something I just came across randomly, but I think it's pretty cool. I'm always up for goddess items. I have so very few. I really would like to get more charms/pendants which I can incorporate into my handmade jewelry and so I can wear more often. I'd like to be more public about my faith I guess. Not shy about wearing pentacle anymore. There's a lot of nice things I'd like to get.
Um, ok, I'm totally not paying attention to this so I'm going to close for now. Ta.
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