Where the Sand Meets the Sea I've been wanting to re-design my journal for Summer. This design was done for Spring. I've been trying to get some photos taken of the beach to use as a basis for my new layout. (What is more summery then the beach? *smiles*) But despite the fact I'm entirely surrounded by water and the fact that I'm mere miles away from a 22-odd mile unbroken stretch of white sand beaches, it took me over two weeks to manage to get to one of them. Sheesh. This whole only one car working and then only barely because it's overheating and there's no way to drive it far let alone the fact you melt from the heat because you have no a/c thing needs to stop.
ANYWAY...my Love got off early from work today. So did my friend Rand. And we all piled in his Jeep and went for a drive. We had a great day out and about heading down to an old area they used to live when they were younger. And I managed to get some great shots. One of these will make it as my layout backgroun. Probably this one. In the meantime, feel free to check out the rest. They're quite nice if I do say so myself.
Reminds me how much I love the beach. Not really so much during the day because it's damned, damned hot, but at night, walking along. It's a place of borders; a place of in-betweens. Where the sea, the sky and the sand mingle and mix. It's a sacred place and a magickal one.
Pirates Update I've had a small page dedicated to the WDW ride, Pirates of the Caribbean for about a year now. Started with the rumor of the chess game being a stalemate. Then, I just kinda started taking pics every time I was there to see if the board had changed at all. Then one day it was dead in there and I got pics of the ride itself. I've been meaning to update the page for months now but finally got around to it now.
Just kind of blah I'm having one of those days where I'm not really happy or sad; not really excited or mindless, but just sorta bored and quiet. You know when you just kind of sit and watch things pass by. You don't feel overly compelled to really do anything yourself, but you are slightly bored from the lack. Not enough to spur you into motion, mind.
I still need to get to Lowe's to exchange my shower head. Had to use it again today and it just stinks. It's so not what I want or need. I also called the apartment office and told them they need to do something about my ever-lessening water pressure. The main bathroom is fine. Tons of water pressure. The master bath - the only one I personally use - has very little. And it's getting worse. I'm sure I'll just get the run-around like always.
Though who knows? They might actually start taking care of this place a little bit better. It's apparently been bought. I don't know by whom, but I do know that someone who's related to the owners of my Love's company put a bid on it. He was willing to go between $9-15 million. I can't even fathom that. I baulk when faced with spending $20 on a shirt. Anyway, his bid wasn't the winner but I know it did sell. Guess that's why all the repairs to the wood on the buildings. Securing the new owner's investment. Can't very well have the walls rotting away when you've just spent who knows how many million on it.
Beauty I couldn't come up with an image for last week's Sidhe!Shots. The topic was Awareness. I had all these different ideas of things I could do - a close up of an eye; perhaps a large scale shot of the sunset, etc. - none of them worked. They either didn't come out or I didn't have the transportation/ability to get the shot I was after.
The new one is out though and this week is much easier: Beauty. I immediately knew what I wanted to take for this one.
It's the tree outside my building. Any tree would do, though this one is lovely. It's huge and old and the trunk is several trunks grown into one. What could capture the very essance of Beauty better then Nature at Her finest? The stability, the strength, the life-giving tree. There is just nothing finer.
Witches Weekly I don't consider myself a witch because I don't engage in ritual, but...thought it might be interesting to answer them anyway. I am Pagan and that means a lot of the queries are appropriate to me as well.
June 26, 2004 - Wearing symbols in public Do you wear any religious symbol jewelry/clothing? If so do you wear it openly in public? I have recently decided I want to own pagan symbols to wear. I've had my eye on several items, such as triple Goddess moon pendant, Large Moon Pentacle Pendant and things like the witch's knot pentacle. I want to incorporate more of it into my jewerly creations as well. I have no shame about wearing such items and would do so proudly.
How do you feel about the issue of wearing religious symbols in schools and how some young teens are forced to remove their religious fashions? All or nothing. If kid A can wear a cross then kid B damned well better be able to wear a pentacle.
Have you ever experienced a confrontation about wearing your jewlery in public? How did you handle the situation if so? Nope, never had a problem. In fact, I try to always compliment fellow Pagans, Wiccans, Witches, etc. when I see them because I appreciate that they too are proud of their faith.
Pink Like Ice Cream or Cotton Candy How could I have forgotten? My Love had these beautiful roses for me when I woke up Sunday morning. They are breathtaking. The colors are just so lovely. He's such a good man. Why'd I get roses you ask? For no reason, just because. *smiles*
Shower Woes In an effort to force some normallacy into both my journal and my life, I am refusing to write about anything odd. Instead, I'm writing a very mundane post about my shower head problems.
Ok, first off. Water in Florida SUCKS. Badly. It leads to horrible, dry and even scaley skin. It comes out orange and containes lime, rust, and more clorine then your swimming pool. So my old shower head was beyond disgusting. I'd used those "CLR" and related cleaners to try to unclog the jets and clean up the grossness of it - to no avail. It simply wouldn't come clean. So for months and months now I've needed a new shower head.
yeah, ew is right.
Sunday we went to Lowe's. And I found what I thought was a cool showerhead. It had a lot of options and looked like one of them was a more "rain" type spray. It also has some areated "champagne" spray that sounded neat. We set it up. And yesterday I took a shower. Or, well, tried to anyway.
First off, it is WAY too high. Rather then the head resting in it's cradle up at the top, it connects at the bottom. So it's so tall it's taller then my shower itself.
that would be my shower curtain bar you see in the foreground
Secondly, I have hardly any water pressure here. There's not much I can do about it being an apartment and all. But I never had that much trouble with it in the past. This new head though must require more water pressure then I can muster because it barely did anything. Instead of seven settings it was like two: low water and less then low water. Bah.
Third, the angle of the head added to the low water pressure means that there's about a 6-inch radius of water and that's it. Of course, that radius is pretty much ontop of the facet because you simply can't get it to spray diagonally - like towards the back wall of the shower - only straight down. This makes it exceptionally hard to, oh, you know, shower.
probably too generous in how far the water goes, but you can see the entire length of the stall and how there's no water going anywhere else
So, let's sum. Too tall (by a lot, like I need to stand on tippie-toes just to reach the damned thing); no water pressure so almost no actual water comes out of the shower head; covers only the smallest of spots with water. Ugh. It seems like if you had about three of them in your bath, mounted at different angles, and if you had a normal, or possibly large amount, of water pressure, it'd be cool. It calls itself a "spa" experience but if I went to a spa and got that, I'd want my money back. You can tell that if they worked, they'd feel nice. But seeing as they barely give off any water and the design of the head itself and it's angle is just horrid, I can't imagine anyone actually liking the product.
Back to Lowe's with a mangled box and only slightly used shower head in toe to exhange for hopefully something that works.
The tide refuses to receed I'm still very hyped today. I find myself unable to fully calm down after last night's moments of introspection and connection. By now, normally I'll have come back to myself; or, more commonly, find myself sleepy, tired and worn. Today I'm still jittery with this unexpressable need to do something. But I don't know what it is. It's too much, too much and it won't let go. Last night, it felt like I was ready to explode; like I was reaching a critcal point where my body simply could not handle it any longer. It swept over me like a tidal wave, burning me from the inside out.
I don't know how I managed to sleep. I don't know how I manage to move through the motions. It's so big, so looming, so much. Something inside needs out; needs to do something; needs in a way I can't explain.
I thought I'd be alright today Thought I'd be alive today Give me your eyes, I'll show you things You never dreamed you thought you'd see
I find myself in light I'd seen In sleep sometimes or mescaline And like the sun, you can't stare into For too long without it blinding you
I thought this light would comfort me I thought it would be easy There's a tugging at my sleeve And so much baggage I brought with me to leave
Something so big I can't understand From trying to I would go mad So I hurry back to little earth For another life, another birth Another life, another birth -Toad the Wet Sprocket, Reincarnation Song
Ever get those nights were your head is full of thoughts on life, existence, reality? The border between life and death. What it means, why we're here, where the dividing lines form? I have this in my mind tonight. The animation of flesh. The fragility of ourselves and how we find so many more ways to snuff out that spark. The cause of that spark to being with; where it lives, comes from, contains. The difference between the living and the not; between animate and inanimate. Times like this I feel like I'm on the edge of something; the verge of some understanding. It's so close, I can taste it. The urge to push through that barrier, to understand, to know. It's so strong, it hurts. On moments of near revelation, you're alone and no one can share the tumbles of thoughts. So close, so close. It's like the realization of the question that needed to be asked, when all along I was mistakenly looking for the answer. I want to run, to sing, to scream to fly, to push outward onto the world and touch each part of it. The limits and confines of my mind and body are so small when I see that there is so much I can almost grasp. Do these moments happen to everyone? Do they touch the face of god? How many actually even reach out, let alone make that touch....is it me? Will I discover something? Will I understand? It's right there. I know it. I can feel it. But not in words and not in the material, though I feel it physically like I feel my heartbeat or my breath. It transends and I feel like I am on the edge of doing so myself. Manifesting something new, something old, something from before and something yet to come. How do you describe infinity? How do you explain potential? How can I put into words the way I feel in this moment so when it leaves me, I can still remember it and seek it again? Can I touch you with my words and bring you here, to this place, to this point, to this moment? Can I pull you along beside me and open your own eyes and soul to what I see is just outside me? It's so close. I am so near. If I Guide you, can I find it? If I help your path, can I follow my own? I tremble with it's pull; with the possibility. Those spaces inbetween...what was, what is, what will be. It's all one. The words manifest throug my fingers though they don't touch the surface, shimmering, shining before me. Are you ready for it? Am I? These moments....I need to something. It's falling into place, I just need that step, that key, that trigger. The understanding is somewhere within, I just need to find it. I need to accept it. It will change everything. Change the world. Times like this I almost understand it all, my place, my purpose, what it's all about. That moment, that breath inbetween this and the next. You can feel it. You can. It's yours as well, though someone had to show you. It's your gift, your birthright. You just didn't remember you lost it. So long ago, you forgot to even look for it anymore. I can give it back, return it. I just need to find it for you. And I'm right there. It's before me. I have only to close my hand to possess her... I stand before you and it, and this concept without a name or a voice, yet which sings within me the song of my soul, of my life, of being and purpose and reason. I feel it. I feel you and this place and I know that I can do it; I'm strong enough but I need to find it. It's like a dream where you're racing up the stairs and you know they end soon, you can't see it, but you know, you just know it's there. But you wake up before you climb the last step. Each time though, each dream, you get that much closer, that much nearer the top. I have entered that dream again. But it's coming awake and aware again. I forget, I hide. I leave it behind with dawn. But I remember now. How close I am. How soon I shall find it. And how quickly I can show you the way. I know tonight is not the night. It will fade and tomorrow I'll read this and wonder at what I was babbling. I'll be embarased because I'll think of what others will say; how they will react; how they'll assume I'm high or stoned or whatever. They'll pass it off as delusion and I'll retreat and apologize for it. I know it looms and I know this moment will wane. But right here, right now, it's with me. And I understand. I see it so close and so clear. It's right before me and I realize I will do it. That the rest is all distraction and process. It's window trappings.
I'm out of words. Not out, but the ones I want to say I already have. I want to keep saying them over and over to try to impart what they feel like to me onto you. How they mean and the depth they reach. I want to pour into them the glimpse I see right now so you too can feel it; so you can start to understand. They are part of me, they are myself given this form. Read them, feel them. Take from them this hope. This possibility. This potential. It's going to happen. I'm going to find it. And understand. And show you the way.
More from Moore I got back from seeing Fahrenheit 9/11 this afternoon. Wow. I just have to say it's a good, sad, funny, enlightening and overall powerful film. One I think everyone should see. At points, the audience laughed out loud at others, they applauded. The biggest screen in the multiplex was sold out. Twice. Two showings starting the same time filled to sold out. It was an odd mix of people, though there were far less 20-somethings then I would have wished. It brought out information I didn't know - and I consider myself relatively educated about the goings-on of the government. (I won't say expert, because I admit, there are many times that I simply have to stop listening or I'll go mad with the absurdity of it all day after day.) He certainly doesn't like Bush. But it's not so much a movie supporting anyone, it's a true documentry bringing connections, money, power and our political leaders into the spotlight. There are harsh and painful moments on the war; there are hysterical moments showing the sheer ignorance and stupidity of Bush; there are moments of shake-your-head-in-disbelief at what's been going on right under our noses. It's eye-opening at times and sadly familier at others. But it's well worth seeing.
Oh you don't say? From my local RoadRunner network status page:
6/27/2004 12:30 AM: Customers may have slow or no browsing on the internet. System engineers are aware of the issue and are working quickly to resolve it. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
...as things time out, fail to load and generally slow to a crawl. In fact, it's been getting worse for days now. Glad to see someone, oh, I don't know, finally noticed. Bah.
