Long Day Yesterday So I got up early and my mom met me here at 9am. She drove me to my Love's work, where I picked up the car. Then I had to get it all the way up to the mechanic - about 20 miles north. Remember, this is a seriously overheating car that we've been only driving like a total of seven miles a day to-and-from work out of neccesity and pretty much no more. Besides a guy literally almost colliding with me as he went to change lanes into, well, me, and the fact it was running really hot every time I had to stop for a light, we made it.
My mom and I then just meandered around. She wanted to go to the local mall so we did. Where she proceeded to have me shop for a pair of red sandals. She wanted to buy me a pair. Back around my birthday (may), she was going to try to get me a pair to match my purse, but couldn't find anything. So we walked around, tried on shoes and she ended up getting me this pair:
I must note I not only didn't ask for them, I actually protested that she had no reason to buy me shoes when she was already loaning me money for the car repairs! She insisted in the way she does and just took them to the register. She always has to get me something when we hang out. I think it's her way of compensating for the problems we had for so many years (with her ignoring the abuse my biological father was putting me through for years, and her abandoning me when I was 16 after the divorce to fend for myself for a year). She has a major guilt complex and I think she's trying to hard to show me she's sorry. There's no telling her no though. I'd make her cry if I didn't let her do something like that now and then. I mean I do like the shoes and I had really wanted a pair of red sandals with the white sitching, but I feel bad that she got them for me. It's a mom thing though.
After that, we ran around and did some errands that she needed to get done. The mechanic called at one point and said they were sending the radiator off-shop to see if it could be repaired. There was a crack in it. He'd let us know. We hit Wal-Mart, and Petsmart, and the post office and eventually made our way back to her house.
In the end, they radiator was cracked to all hell and couldn't be repaired, it had to be replaced. So about 4:30, we headed over there to see what was going on. Keep in mind, my poor Love was stuck at work a half an hour away from me with no way to get home at 5pm. They fixed the a/c (thankfully a small problem with a pressure switch) and changed the oil since it was already up on the lift. In the end, we have a new radiator, the a/c working and fresh oil. For a total of $320.
*sighs*
I know it could have been worse. It could have been much worse. The radiator repair was about $275ish itself, with about $25 for the a/c part and another $20 for the oil change. The guy got it done by about 4:45pm and I was able to get my Love picked up only 15 minutes late. The fact that the entire drive home, in horrible stop-and-go 5pm traffic, with the air running (oh blessed air conditioning!) and the temperature never even got to the mid point on the gauge, is wonderful. I just feel so shitty I had to charge $320 on my mom's credit card in order to do it. I know how important having one car actually working is. And I know how it was just going to get worse and cause more problems if we didn't get it fixed (let alone my inability to even get a p/t job with it broken because it wouldn't handle the extra driving), but still. Makes me feel really shitty. I'll have to pay her back slowly - maybe $50 at a time kind of thing - because I'll never have that much in one chunk (part of the reason we hadn't gotten it fixed yet was we didn't have that much money to do it). It just sucks when something that's so trivial in the world - $300 - is so monumental to you that it steers the course of your entire life. For like two months we've been just barely limping by with it broken because it was outside our means. And it's not like my mom has money. She doesn't. In fact, she's physically disabled and can't work and her disability money isn't a hell of a lot. Me taking up $300 on her credit card is going to hurt her too.
I dunno. I guess I'm just both really relieved and really bummed out about the situation. It sure is nice to have the car working again. I just wish it didn't have to be like this to do it.
Ungodly Hour It's way too damned early to be up. Let alone to be up and facing spending the whole day with my mom. I mean I love my mom and all but I generally don't want to hang out with anyone, let alone my mom, before noon. Ugh.
Ugh. So tired. About five hours of sleep. (Broken sleep mind.) Gods I hope after all this at the very least I can get the car fixed and it won't be hundreds of dollars to do it.
Sidhe!Shots - "Airy" Represent the idea of Airy within your photograph
A number of things came through my mind for this one though none I could easily photograph. I went out and took some shots of clouds and when I uploaded them to my computer, I noticed some sunset cloud shots I had taken on the 4th but never really looked at. One of them I liked more then the cloud photo I had just taken, so on a spur of the moment choice, I decided to use it.
Nothing to say Sorry, I just really haven't had anything much to say. At least nothing anyone wants to read about. Nothing has been going on. We're broke to the point of disgust. We're behind and it seems like we'll never get caught up. The car is such a nightmare. My mother is coming by tomorrow to forcebly take me to some mechanic she "knows" (whatever) and see what's wrong. She wants to charge the repair costs and have us pay her back. I'm so not happy with this situation in the slightest. Tomorrow will suck ass for so many reasons. Meeting her here at 9am, spending an hour driving to her mechanic (way far away and just what I need to be doing; sweating to death in an overheating car for an hour), spending all day sitting around, borrowing more money from my mom to dump more money into the ceaspool that is my car to have to try to now come up with money to pay her back.
I'm just so sick of it all. I really am.
I'm still not sleeping for crap. I've been getting migraines like crazy. My stomach is a mess. I'm just so depressed lately and I feel like I'm drowning in it all. We can't pay our bills, we can't get caught up, and it's not like we've got debt or anything - neither one of us has a single credit card. Not one. It's just if we buy ourselves a pair of shoes when the old ones fall apart, or we go see a movie to get out of the goddamned house, suddenly we're running short again and we're fucked. I'm so sick of being fucked. For two years now I've been dealing with the cracked tooth I have and there's no way we'll ever have the money to fix it (forget the fact my teeth have severely moved out of place and make my entire jaw ache every single day and I need to get braces again for a few months but I can't do that until the crack is addressed). In the meantime, I've gotten cavities on the other side since it's the only side I can eat on, but I can't fix those either. I haven't had medication for my debilitating migraines in three years now and can't afford it even if I could some how get a prescription. I can't see anyone about my shoulder dislocating itself all the time, nor my stomach which keeps me ill 23 hours out of every day, nor even my damned finger which has been swollen for three weeks now and I have no idea why.
It's just absurd. Why the fuck it is all this hard? I am so depressed I don't even want to think anymore. I don't want to live anymore. I just don't want to feel any of it anymore. I'm crying all the time and I can't stop. I hate it. I just hate it all.
Some of the wonderments of the fucktard's rule of terror include...
On June 16, 2004, the Bush administration's Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) published new mandatory guidelines for HIV prevention organizations.
Under the new regulations, state and local health departments will appoint a panel to censor the content of HIV educational materials. Any "obscene" or "sexually suggestive" content will not be permitted. Drawings or photographs that demonstrate condom use on dildos or even cucumbers are listed as "obscene."
In addition, HIV educational material must include a warning about the "lack of effectiveness" of condoms. If an HIV prevention center disobeys the new rules, they lose all their federal funding.
The CDC is the government's single source of funding for HIV prevention programs. Julie Gerberding, the CDC's current head, was appointed by President Bush.
Mmmm...what a healthy combination of censorship and sticking one's head in the ground. Surely that will help! "La la la la I can't hear you. I'm pretending it doesn't exist and it will therefore go away on it's own...la la la!" In this case, asshole, what people don't know, can kill them.
In 2000, while he was Governor of Texas, George W. Bush signed a proclamation declaring June 10 as Jesus Day, urging Texans to "follow Christ's example by performing good works in their communities and neighborhoods."
(Source: Laurie Goodstein, "The 2000 Campaign: The Religion Issue; Bush's Jesus Day Is Called Insensitive and a Violation of the First Amendment," The New York Times, August 6, 2000.)
Ah yes. This is how we should do things in this country! Let's shit on the freedom of religion and instead, oh, I know! push for laws and government which denies civil liberties and freedom of choice. If they won't come to their senses on their own, well then, we'll just have to make it state law now won't we?
The Bush campaign has raised $296.3 million since 1998, giving it the advantage in both the 2000 and 2004 elections. One-third to one-half of this $296.3 million was donated to the Bush campaign by only 631 people.
This is the end result of Bush's "Pioneers" campaign fund. The maximum individual donation to a presidential candidate by law is $1000; however, the Pioneers have been able to work around this regulation by creating a network of people, mostly businessmen, who are each able to persuade 100 friends or more to donate the $1000 maximum to their cause. Donors who have raised at least $100,000 are dubbed "Pioneers". Those who have raised at least $200,000 are called "Rangers".
Of the 246 Pioneers and Rangers in the 2000 campaign, 104 of them have received a job or appointment during Bush's reign in the White House. Twenty-three of them have been made ambassadors.
2000 election Pioneer Kenneth Lay, former Enron chairman, sent the White House a list of eight persons he recommended for appointment to the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission upon Bush's election. Two of the persons he recommended were appointed to the five-person commission.
The Pioneers group is now twice as large as it was in the 2000 election.
Ah, now this one's nice. You too can own your very own peice of the United States Government. Buy a job - starting at a mere $100,000! Be your own boss or ambassador to a country! The potential is unlimited! Just send $1,000 and 100 of your closest friend's money to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20500 Act now!
One more (though there's tons and you SHOULD read them even though they'll make you sick to your stomach)...
In 1999, Bush stated that he opposed including sexual orientation in a bill to strengthen and clarify a Texas hate crimes law. The law was already set up to increase the penalty for crimes committed against victims who are targeted for their race or gender, but not necessarily for their sexual orientation.
The then-governor of Texas also stated in 1999 that he was opposed to gay couples adopting children. He supported a bill to block gays from adopting children in the custody of Child Protective Services.
(Source: cnn.com July 2, 1999. "Bush Opposes Hate Crimes Laws and Gay Adoptions," March 23, 1999.)
Those damn uppity gays. Wanting protection from hate crimes. And wanting to adopt unwanted and unloved children. The nerve! They're just getting beaten and killed because, you know, they deserve it (along with AIDS of course, which is also their fault). Not to mention, it's MUCH better to have kids raised without families in piss-poor environments where they grow up criminals then to let those gays raise 'em. What a fucking pile of bullshit. Biogted, ass-backward, close minded, hateful, moronic, racist fucks.
