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Blogroll Me!
There are people on the net that have nothing better to do with their time
then be nasty to other people online. They post rude comments, spend hours
a day talking about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a
day talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for their
opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone to fit into
their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw a temper tantrum.
To these people I say grow up.
Here's a bit of info people...the web is
a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here, or who I am, or what I
do, or talk about, or what I look like, or the color of my hair, or
whatever asinine thing you dwell on, go somewhere else. It's
really, really easy. Honest. You just click the little "x" in
the corner of your browser and *poof* the offending, big, mean and nasty
site has disappeared.
I pay for this site. It's mine. That
means I can use it for whatever the hell I want to. Don't like it if I'm
bitching about something in my life? Oh fucking well. Go somewhere else.
Think I'm stupid for expressing my thoughts? Too fucking bad, don't read
them. Somewhere along the line, someone forgot this simple fact: Live
and let live Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care.
This journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or
fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to write and
express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So read or don't,
it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours) bitching about it.
*gets off soapbox*
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Friday, March 04, 2005
Scary Morning
I woke up early this morning (like 6:30am early) with some of the most intense and horrific pain I'd ever felt. My stomach hurt so bad that I couldn't even breathe. It felt like knives were piercing every inch of my stomach from the inside. I broke out in a cold sweat, my hearing fuzzed over with a pulsing, rushing sound of blood in my ears and I started shaking uncontrollably. I cried as I tried to make it to the restroom thinking maybe I was going to be sick or something. I was terrified it was something like my appendix. All I could think of was horrifying scenes of the hospital, the ER, sugery, etc. It took me forever to make it back into the bedroom and another forever to manage to lay back down. Moving was literal agony and the act of trying to make it from a sitting position on the bed to a laying one was hell. Then, when I was laying down, it hurt worse and I had to fight to curl on my side where the pain lessened a fraction. If I barely breathed and didn't move, I could almost endure it. All I wanted was to try to fall back asleep in hopes it would go away. That or, if it was my appendix, that it would just kill me in my sleep. Either way, I couldn't take it. Finally, I did drift off. And, miraculously, when I woke up, the pain was all but gone. I don't know why it was so bad and I don't know what caused it, but even having dealt with ulcers since I was 13, migraines since I was 16, I've never had such intense and horrific pain. I've had an upset stomach on and off most of the day but thankfully no more of that can't-move-or-even-breathe pain. I was just so scared. I didn't want to end up in the ER. Just so terrifying. I haven't done much today. Just take it easy. Understandably. I'm hoping that I might be able to get a replacement hard drive tomorrow and if so, I'll be able to work on getting my system back this weekend. Man, I hope so. I miss it. And I have updates I want to do - photos, PhoenixFire Designs updates, etc. It's going to be so much work getting it all back from scratch, but ugh, I can't wait to have my pc again. Anyway, just wanted to right a little entry since I hadn't yet today and since I wanted to make a note of this stomach problem in case something else happens again later. Ugh. Which, dear gods, I hope it doesn't.
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