28 year old
Pagan female who lives in Florida with her guy and two cats,
loves Disney, reads fanatically, tinkers in photography and
believes growing up is overrated.
There are people on the net that have nothing better to do
with their time
then be nasty to other people online. They post rude comments, spend hours
a day talking about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a
day talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for their
opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone to fit into
their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw a temper tantrum.
To these people I say grow up.
Here's a bit of info people...the web is
a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here, or who I am, or what I
do, or talk about, or what I look like, or the color of my hair, or
whatever asinine thing you dwell on, go somewhere else. It's
really, really easy. Honest. You just click the little "x" in
the corner of your browser and *poof* the offending, big, mean and nasty
site has disappeared.
I pay for this site. It's mine. That
means I can use it for whatever the hell I want to. Don't like it if I'm
bitching about something in my life? Oh fucking well. Go somewhere else.
Think I'm stupid for expressing my thoughts? Too fucking bad, don't read
them. Somewhere along the line, someone forgot this simple fact: Live
and let live Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care.
This journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or
fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to write and
express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So read or don't,
it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours) bitching about it.
*gets off soapbox*
Tooth
Drive:
I need to
raise over $850 for critically needed dental
work. I'll be listing my hand made
jewelry, bracelets,
earrings, necklaces and horns
for sale to try to raise the desperately needed funds.
Every order helps. I can accept paypal payments at
webmaster@giveneyestosee.com
or check/money orders at:
M. Turner
PO Box 1484, Elfers, FL 34684
Thank you for your help and support.
I've also set
up a
tooth fund for anyone
wanted to donate without purchase.
Need a
good webhost?
Try
DreamHost. Use
my linkI'll get a
referal credit which goes straight into the Tooth Fund
as well.
Self-Doubt Ever get those moments where you really think that all your online friends don't actually like you? That maybe they did at one point, but they got sick of you some length of time ago and have only been putting in a lackluster effort to act like they still care? No, this isn't directed at anyone. It's really not. I've just been feeling like I'm such a loser that I've alienated all my friends away from me and that they don't want to even talk to me anymore. It's all this horrifically lack of self esteem right now because I'm in the middle of a particularly bad bout of my depression. Hell, I don't want to even listen to myself so it makes sense to me that no one else would want to either.
*sighs*
I just feel like there's no point to any of it. I feel like everyone avoids me because they don't want to have to deal with my constant crap. And the thing is, I don't blame them. But I still feel all alone in a crowd.
Normally, in the afternoons, I lay down for about a half an hour. I can't help it. The depression, the monotony, the lack of change in my schedule, I'm always tired. Trust me, four walls that never change and no reason to get out of bed will do that to a person. So anyway, today I woke up and I wasn't feeling all that hot. My nose has been running in a very uncomfortable way since about 2am last night and I was feeling especially achey/lethargic. So I laid down for my standard "power nap." I must add that I always just wake up after 30 minutes or so without any real deviation.
Today I slept three hours.
I had no clue I was asleep that long. I didn't toss and turn; I didn't wake up and make myself go back to sleep, I just closed my eyes and woke them three hours later. It's really bizarre. I feel a little bit rested but I also feel a little out of it. It just worries me that I slept for so long without meaning to.
Anyway, that's about all for now I suppose. The sad fact is, I feel like I could go lay back down right now. Instead, I think I'll get away from the pc and watch some tv. For some reason, the computer makes me sleepier then the tv.
