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There are people on the net that have nothing better to do with their time
then be nasty to other people online. They post rude comments, spend hours
a day talking about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a
day talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for their
opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone to fit into
their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw a temper tantrum.
To these people I say grow up.
Here's a bit of info people...the web is
a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here, or who I am, or what I
do, or talk about, or what I look like, or the color of my hair, or
whatever asinine thing you dwell on, go somewhere else. It's
really, really easy. Honest. You just click the little "x" in
the corner of your browser and *poof* the offending, big, mean and nasty
site has disappeared.
I pay for this site. It's mine. That
means I can use it for whatever the hell I want to. Don't like it if I'm
bitching about something in my life? Oh fucking well. Go somewhere else.
Think I'm stupid for expressing my thoughts? Too fucking bad, don't read
them. Somewhere along the line, someone forgot this simple fact: Live
and let live Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care.
This journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or
fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to write and
express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So read or don't,
it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours) bitching about it.
*gets off soapbox*
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Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Track of Time
It's weird. I'll think, "Oh, I need to write an entry" and then some how that turns into not just a day or two like it feels to me, but several days without me noticing. One thing or another crops up, or I'm tired, or I don't have the attention span, or I think, "I'll just do it later." Like right now, I really want to go take a shower instead but I realized if I didn't get around to making myself write something, I'd probably lose track of the day and end up not writing again until at least tomorrow. I honestly don't know how it happens or why it works out that way. (Or, more appropriately, doesn't work out...) I've never had a normal sense of time. I don't know how to distinguish time passage in my mind without solid, fixed points to fill in the information for me. Like, we went 11 days ago to Diseny for Love's birthday. Feels maybe a week or less ago to me. It's in that vague state right now. The only reason I can tell you for certain when it was is because I know the date. And only because the date is significant. We were there exactly on his birthday - the 18th - so I can tell it for sure. Had it been some day around his birthday, I'd absolutely not be able to tell you without looking it up and doing some best-guess figuring on the calendar what day it was. I constantly have that "a few months ago" feeling for things - most of which are into a few years ago now. So when it comes to remembering to write in my journal, I don't always grasp how many days it's been until I'm faced with the black-and-white timestamp of my last entry. I look at it and I'm honestly confused. Because I can't recall that much passage of time from the last entry to the one I intend to write. Looking at it last night, I couldn't believe I hadn't written in it since Saturday. Here it is four day later? Really? Did that much time actually pass...? I don't know if this makes any sense to people. I don't know if other people experience this kind of thing or not. And if they do, I don't know if they're awash in such a fog about it as I am. It's an almost abstract concept to try to put into words that I don't know if I'm fully sharing how fully encompassing it is. How it affects so much of my life from appointments to dates to heck, even shipping out an order in a timely fashion. To me, it all blurs together and if a week goes by before I ship it, it's not out of spite or forgetfulness, it's just out of lack of awareness of the passage of seven days worth of time. Anyway...in brief recap news.... The weekend was chilly. We were only in the upper 60's during the day which is brisk for us, especially this time of year. We're back up in the upper 70's-pushing-80F for a daytime high again. It was nice while it lasted though. Didn't really do anything. Used Love's gift card for Chili's he got for his birthday from his parents for a lunch on Sunday. Monday I spent the day getting ready for the carpet cleaning which was yesterday, Tuesday. Had to move everything up off the floor and away from the living room.  Our living room including propped-up couch Poor Gracie freaked. She doesn't do change very well. And especially not to the entire apartment getting moved, changed and emptied. Poor cat. They also had to spend seven hours on the balcony yesterday while it dried. Man were they happy last night to be back inside, sleeping (passed out) on the bed and couch. Alright, time to take a shower. What I really want to do is go back to sleep. I'm utterly exhausted again (for no reason) and it's so bad today it's hard to even keep my eyes open, let alone focus on anything. It's been a real effort writing this entry. (I started it according to the time stamp at 1:06pm and it's now 1:30pm.) But it needs to be done so I might as well go and do it. Out for now.
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