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There are people on the net that have nothing better to do with their time
then be nasty to other people online. They post rude comments, spend hours
a day talking about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a
day talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for their
opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone to fit into
their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw a temper tantrum.
To these people I say grow up.
Here's a bit of info people...the web is
a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here, or who I am, or what I
do, or talk about, or what I look like, or the color of my hair, or
whatever asinine thing you dwell on, go somewhere else. It's
really, really easy. Honest. You just click the little "x" in
the corner of your browser and *poof* the offending, big, mean and nasty
site has disappeared.
I pay for this site. It's mine. That
means I can use it for whatever the hell I want to. Don't like it if I'm
bitching about something in my life? Oh fucking well. Go somewhere else.
Think I'm stupid for expressing my thoughts? Too fucking bad, don't read
them. Somewhere along the line, someone forgot this simple fact: Live
and let live Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care.
This journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or
fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to write and
express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So read or don't,
it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours) bitching about it.
*gets off soapbox*
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Had the Talk
I got in a little late this morning thanks to both my stomach and being stuck waiting on the guy to finish pressure-cleaning my breezeway. (I couldn't even open my front door until he was done.) So when I got in I spoke with K. Ever want something so much that you fool yourself into thinking you can do more then you really can? I started. I told her that I love everyone here and I wanted the opprotunity so much that I ignored the fact that my needs of part-time hours aren't arbitrary. That because I have chronic health concerns it means I need to respect my personal limits of what I can and can not do. And that no amount of pretending it's not there will make me able to ignore it. She was totally understanding. Stupid me, I started to cry a little. I get really emotional on things like that. I don't want to cry, but I find myself choking up. I don't know why I do it but I always do. (And it leads to me being embarrased in a lot of public situations which in turn makes me socially anxious in a lot of situations.) I told her that I'd love to continue on with a part-time schedule for as long as they needed me or until they got the full-time position filled. I know you need the help and to be frank, I can use the income I joked. She smiled and agreed on both counts. She asked if I wanted to finish out the week and I said sure. She said to be as flexible as I need to be. If I can't make a day, no worries. If I can come in at 10am, cool. If I can come in after lunch, cool too. She also said she'd talk to her boss ("L.") and see if she didn't want me to stay on in a p/t flex schedule until they find someone. I told her that'd be great. She also assured me that they'd still call me for vacations and for special projects and such. That I was definitely their first choice but that she totally understood why I needed part time and that it was ok. So...jeez. That was hard. But I needed to talk to her and I needed to be upfront. And I do feel a lot better for having discussed it with her. I just feel a little disconnected now; bobbing. I'm not sure what's going to happen next and I'm a little adrift right now. It's weird. Normally, the idea of not being tied to any kind of set schedule - of any kind, not just in work hours - is confining to me. But now knowing that I'm going to be going back to a more random and uncertain future, well, I have to admit, I'm a little intimidated. It's a little frightening honestly. I think I'm both drawn to and afraid of the concept of forging my own path. Especially when it's so fraught with uncertainty. Ah well. Jeez. My journal's gotten a lot heavier on subject matter lately. Eventually, I'll pad it out with more fluff again I'm sure. (Of course, you're always welcome to check in at my livejournal because more fluff and inbetween, less serious stuff ends up there. Guess that's all for now.
~ sweet smelling daffodils :: miss m ::
at 4/18/2006 12:48:00 PM ~
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