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There are people on the net that have nothing better to do with their time
then be nasty to other people online. They post rude comments, spend hours
a day talking about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a
day talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for their
opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone to fit into
their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw a temper tantrum.
To these people I say grow up.
Here's a bit of info people...the web is
a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here, or who I am, or what I
do, or talk about, or what I look like, or the color of my hair, or
whatever asinine thing you dwell on, go somewhere else. It's
really, really easy. Honest. You just click the little "x" in
the corner of your browser and *poof* the offending, big, mean and nasty
site has disappeared.
I pay for this site. It's mine. That
means I can use it for whatever the hell I want to. Don't like it if I'm
bitching about something in my life? Oh fucking well. Go somewhere else.
Think I'm stupid for expressing my thoughts? Too fucking bad, don't read
them. Somewhere along the line, someone forgot this simple fact: Live
and let live Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care.
This journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or
fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to write and
express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So read or don't,
it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours) bitching about it.
*gets off soapbox*
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Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Writing On The Wall
I was going to write an entry about my bizare insomina the last two nights (...you know when you lay there and there's a wall between you and sleep? and everyting goes through your head - including how you're going to write it out in your blog...?) and then I was going to write about how it rained this morning (...only the second time it's rain in literally months and months. I've almost forgotten what the rain sounds like. this whole area is in a terrible drought with wildfires already raging out of control...) but I didn't get around to it. And now, I don't realy want to write about either subject. Because I'm sitting here, watching the clock tick down the rest of my day, and I just want to go home so I can cry. My temp job is coming to an end. I knew it was going to happen. I knew they were eventually planning on hiring someone for 40 hours. I knew it was in the works. But it'd been a vague concept for a couple months now. They hadn't even approved the position and they weren't interviewing or taking resumes. I was basically on a "keep coming in until it changes" kinda of schedule. I was hoping it'd drag out, well, indefiniately. Not so much. Today, K. drops the bomb on me that they got two resumes in from a temp agency and they are going to pick one and have her come in possibly Thursday or Friday. The real kicker? They want me to train the temp on the phones and show her the ropes - basically train my own replacement. I can't tell you how deeply upset this made me. Not the training part because logically, yeah, it makes sense, but the whole ending overall. Sure, I knew it was going to happen, but I wasn't prepaired for it. Just no warning like that. So now, with my birthday next week, most likely, I won't be working. This week is probably it. Pending that the temp doesn't suck beyond all measure - and really, it's not like it's hard or anything - they won't need me. This was just such an ideal situation. The proximity. The availability of a friend who could get me to-and-from without the need for my own car. The flexibility with my hours. The ease of the work itself (i.e. no heavy lifting, or standing for long times which I can't really do.) Just the whole thing. It really was the best position I've been able to do in years. I know that now I'm going to have to try to find some shitty retail job for $6/hour (little over half what I'm making here) that I won't be able to hold down because it'll be too physically taxing and I'll be right back to where I was before. It's just so frustrating, depressing, and upsetting to be limited like this. To know you just can't cut it in the "real" world with the rules everyone expects you to live up to. I mean, I'm going to be fucking 29 years old and I can't even hold down a job because of my damned health! I just want to go home and cry. I have 20 minutes left in my day and it's all I can do not to break down right here. Just blindsided and hit with it like that...? It hurts. It just really hurts.
~ sweet smelling daffodils :: miss m ::
at 5/09/2006 05:12:00 PM ~
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