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There are people on the net that have nothing better to do with their time
then be nasty to other people online. They post rude comments, spend hours
a day talking about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a
day talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for their
opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone to fit into
their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw a temper tantrum.
To these people I say grow up.
Here's a bit of info people...the web is
a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here, or who I am, or what I
do, or talk about, or what I look like, or the color of my hair, or
whatever asinine thing you dwell on, go somewhere else. It's
really, really easy. Honest. You just click the little "x" in
the corner of your browser and *poof* the offending, big, mean and nasty
site has disappeared.
I pay for this site. It's mine. That
means I can use it for whatever the hell I want to. Don't like it if I'm
bitching about something in my life? Oh fucking well. Go somewhere else.
Think I'm stupid for expressing my thoughts? Too fucking bad, don't read
them. Somewhere along the line, someone forgot this simple fact: Live
and let live Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care.
This journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or
fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to write and
express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So read or don't,
it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours) bitching about it.
*gets off soapbox*
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Thursday, July 20, 2006
Insert Thursday's Title Here
(2:15pm) Titles always throw me. I always feel like I should provide some awesome phrase or catchy, witty word play to snag everyone into reading the entry. It never seems to work out that way though. Maybe I ramble too much for a short blub. Maybe I just don't do well under pressure. Either way, I often sit, tapping at the keys on the keyboard without actually pressing them, trying to think of how to start each entry. (You'll also find me doing it inbetween paragraphs or when I have a train of thought that's momentarily derailed.) Let's see...it's Thursday. I'm at the temp job for day two of three. Got in here at normal start (8:30am) though all I wanted to do was sleep. I had finally achieved this nice state of sleep, but, unfortunately for me and the needs of the alarm clock, it was about an hour before I had to wake up. So, when I did have to get up, I had just gotten into a dream. Which left me in that really groggy state. You know when you wake up at exactly the wrong moment of the sleep cycle and you're all fuzzy/groggy/disoriented because of it? Yeah that. And it's so hard to get out of that. Seems to stretch on for the first couple hours of your morning. Blah. I managed to muddle through the morning. Not sure how. Honestly, it's a bit of a unbroken blur. It's extremely boring and kinda lonely here. They changed the access to the building, requiring a keycard to get past the lobby. Well, because of this, they moved the reception desk out near the doors. Which means I'm basically in this little walled off room totally removed from the entire rest of the building. Everyone enters the building past me, but for all that, it's really quite a lonely place to sit. It's weird. Even when I was way down at the corner of the building, in an office by myself, it wasn't as lonely because I was actually near and around people. There's a literal wall between me and the office now which is oddly disquieting. I wonder how the girl who replaced me likes it. She seemed to want something more active then this role requires and being so isolated...well, I can't see it being what she hoped it was going to be. (Yeah for the iPod though. At least background music helps.) (There I go tapping at the keys without pressing them again as I try to figure out what I'm going to write next.) My neck has decided it's very mad at me again today. Same side (left) as the one badly pinched last week. It was starting to feel better but it's getting angry at me again. I think it's the weird way this desk is setup. The monitor's at an angle, so you can't scoot the chair in enough and there's no keyboard trayor real place to rest your arms. And the chair is so stiff back that it's pushing my head too far forward when I try to sit back. I'm much more of a slouchy/leaner. I can't stand headrests that push forward. They really hurt. The vast majority of car seat rests and related are just not designed for me. It makes me wonder how odd my neck must be compared to other people's. No one else finds it so horribly inverted and uncomfortable as I do. And I already know my neck is permanately out of alignment (grew that way) but, it's still sometimes weird the ways in which it seems to differ from the norm. 3pm: Oh yeah. That's right. I was writing an entry. Whoops. Kinda forgot. Did I mention about the tired part yet? I think this entry has gone abruptly downhill to a stop. I had other things to write about but I don't really remember what, so I better stop while I'm ahead. Ok, too late for that, but eh, no time like the present? Ta for now.
~ from the beach near
:: miss m ::
at 7/20/2006 02:15:00 PM ~
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Insomnia
After being unable to fall asleep last night and then waking up and repeating the process several times, I got around 3ish hours of sleep overnight. I wanted to try to avoid a migraine this afternoon (lack of sleep = huge trigger for me) so I called and told the temp job I'd be in after lunch and tried to get back to sleep. It was just about as successful as it was overnight. Which is to say, almost not at all.  I couldn't get to sleep and when I did, I'd wake up and lay there for a long period before I'd finally be able to fall asleep again.This is utterly unlike me. Sleep is not something I have a problem with. In fact, most times, I sleep too much. So I'm exhausted but it's just making it worse rather then making me tired enough to actually sleep. I went in at 1pm though and worked until 5:30pm. It was freezing up front! My hands were literally turning blue. Very boring and very lonely, but I got through it. (Thankfully, since in addition to the sleeplessness, my stomach's been rioting today and I've got cramps from hell.) I've got tomorrow and Friday also so I'm trying to just take it one day at a time and hope for the best. I just wish I knew what to do about this insomnia. I need to nip this in the bud before it turns into something chronic, you know? (And no, I don't consume much caffeine if any; I don't eat right before bed; I'm not hot and it's not too warm in the bedroom, etc. It's just there's me and then there's sleep and inbetween in a wall. Breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, sleepy time teas - none of it's helping.)
~ from the beach near
:: miss m ::
at 7/19/2006 08:23:00 PM ~
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Not Worth A Migraine
Didn't sleep. At all. If I got a total of about three hours last night, I'd be surprised. Love didn't sleep either. Poor thing. Exhausted. Called and said I'd be in after lunch. (Without a car, it's the only other time I can get it; having my friend get me on his way back from lunch.) If I went in now, I'd get a migraine and miss the afternoon. This way, hoepfully, if I can sleep, I can avoid the migraine. Which is the goal here. So, going to bed. Hopefully to sleep this time seeing as it hasn't happened yet. I really want to get in there for the afternoon half of the day.
~ from the beach near
:: miss m ::
at 7/19/2006 07:37:00 AM ~
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006
*Grump*
Cramps. Crazy temperature fluctuations. Headache. Neck still in absolute freakin' agony. Haven't slept properly in about a week. And I have to get up for work at the temp job tomorrow. (And Thursday. And Friday.) Dammit. Why this week? Bah. Why not next week when I'm, you know, not on cycle? This is the week I normally spend pretty much entirely in bed. Every month gets worse. Not in terms of the cycle itself - those are taken care of thanks to modern medicine balacing things out - but the extreme weakness and fatigue that plagues me during them. It's like the normal, daily, soreness, aches and tiredness just overtake me for a week each month. I mean, bad. And getting worse it seems. So I'm just flustered and bummed and hoping I can get through it all. Wish me luck.
~ from the beach near
:: miss m ::
at 7/18/2006 11:45:00 PM ~
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Monday, July 17, 2006
New Blog & General Catch-Up
I decided to start a new blog today. It's called The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and it's reviews of positive and negative experiences with stores, services and related. The very first entry has been written. I hope that it will help people in the future, who are searching for information on a particular place to know what to avoid and what's good. I've been in bad pain since Friday. A horrible migraine kept me up until sometime after 2am Friday night and I've barely been able to sleep this whole weekend. Tossing and turning and waking up sometimes as frequently as every hour. I'm supposed to go into the temp job to cover Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday but it's going to be a hard, hard time. I'm going to do my best though since I still have my broken glasses I need to fix. (Over a month now. *sighs*) We'll see how it goes. I'm trying not to psych myself out but at the same time...ugh. Mom's taking Socrates in tomorrow (Tuesday) for an ultrasound. It's only $85 and they don't have to put him under for it, so she's hoping they'll be able to confirm the suspicion of cancer and give her actual information as opposed to now where she has absolutely none. Hopefully at least, she'll know for sure what she's facing with him. So that it in brief sum for the moment.
~ from the beach near
:: miss m ::
at 7/17/2006 04:39:00 PM ~
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