So I wound up breaking down crying last night. Then I slept like crap. I woke up this morning…and broke down crying again. I tried to get myself ready for work but just was so overwhelmed with everything about the one-year “anniversary” of Rand’s passing I was just an emotional wreck. I wound up calling my boss and broke down crying to him explaining why I was so out of sorts today and went back to bed. 
My dreams have been so thick and heavy lately and yet I’m exhausted when I wake up from them. I don’t remember all of them but several have been very emotional as well; everything from deep sorrow, to extreme frustration, to being upset. Just things where I’m very strained and stressed emotionally in my dreams. It’s so much to deal with.
I thought I was doing well and getting through it pretty ok all things considered. But the last few days have been so hard and so, just…overwhelmingly emotional. Hoping tomorrow will be a better day.