I guess I've been in a flare-up lately because I've been really even more exhausted and in pain than normal but this morning, it's just the worst. I woke up to my whole body aching. Every joint hurts; I feel like I've been run over. Tylenol isn't doing a thing and on top of it, I'm so fatigued and exhausted, it's all I can do not to cry.
I got up and got myself to work though – I'm here now – but man, this is just brutal. Tomorrow I'm going to see Shelly – my friend and massage therapist I used to work with at the studio – because despite the fact I can't really afford it right now, it's been like 5 months since my last massage and I'm just a wreck. My neck and shoulder have been so bad I can barely use my left arm and I wake up from the pain. I don't know if the pain caused the flare or the flare caused the pain, but either way, it's been so bad lately.
It's so frustrating feeling like a 90 year-old woman at 33! And it sucks just hurting all the time.
There's all these articles in the news about findings from two studies that may link to a couple different retroviruses being the cause of CFS. One causes cancer and the other leukemia in mice and while there was conflicting results from the two, both studies found extremely high percentages of people with CFS who had one or both of the retroviruses versus people without CFS. They're doing more study but wouldn't it be great if they eventually DID prove the cause? Some scientists are likening it to hepatitis in that it could be a family of related, but unique viruses.
Anyway, it's bad. And I hurt. And I'm so tired of being tired and hurting right now. Just thought I'd vent a little. Those of you also dealing with chronic illness should understand how bad the truly bad days are. Everyday is tough but the truly bad days can be impossible. And I feel like I'm at the impossible right now. 🙁
4 thoughts on “Hurting”
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Hi,
I live in Brasil and found your blog when looking for small glass bottles.
When I read your post it looked like I was the person described there. So, I decided to write to you, to say I feel the same about pain every single day.
Fortunately, recently I went to a doctor who prescribed a medicine wich is working for me. If you want to know somethin about, there is some information in this link (http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org/fibromyalgia_muscle_relaxants.html). Better if you read in good English, because is not my natural language.
I’m taking Cyclobenzaprine every night, associated to Meloxican and Omeprazole. Since I’m having those, I’m sleeping well and feeling good in the morning, with almost no pain.
Hope you feel better soon!
Thank you for the comment and the kind words. Sadly, I do not have any medical insurance. So I haven’t been able to see a doctor in about 8 years. Maybe someday I will be able to again.
I do appreciate the information though and I will read the link. 🙂
Yes, I logged in to make exactly the same suggestion as Marcia did. Your symptoms, as a whole, are sounding more and more like Fibromyalgia. I’ve known several people who suffered from it. Here’s another link: https://health.google.com/health/ref/Fibromyalgia
With a formal diagnosis, you might be eligible for SSI disability benefits.
If we keep fighting for health insurance reform, you may be able to see a doctor eventually! I pay through the nose for coverage as a self-employed person, it’s brutal.
I’ve long suspected it’s FMS, however, without the ability to get to a dr, I can’t confirm it with an official diagnostic. FMS comes with all sorts of related side-effects such as migraines, IBS, etc. which I also have long suffered through.
My mom is on disability (for lupus and RA) but it took 5 years of dr visits, specialists, tests and court dates to get qualified. Being sick makes all that impossible. It’s such a catch-22, you know? 🙁