Another day, another morning I rather be just about anywhere else other than here. My stupid stomach has been seriously on the fritz for the past three days. Yesterday, I woke up and started violently dry-heaving and I felt just horrible. I was sick all day but I finally wound up going into work around 1pm.
My boss talked to me when I got in about my attendance. Or, more accurately, my lack of attendance. I know I’ve missed an absurd amount of days. It’s just a culmination of so many things. From Rand going into the hospital a week after I started here, to passing away two weeks later, to anxiety/panic attacks for the first time in my life, to insomnia, huge CFS flare meaning extreme fatigue, to more and worse migraines, to my stomach being literally hell all the way to just simply hating my job and not wanting to deal with it on top of everything else, it just all turns into a lot of missed days.
— a few hours later –
Overall it’s tough to care when you feel awful and hate your job anyway, you know?
No one wants to work today. I don’t either. It’s tough being motivated before a 3-day weekend.
Everyone in my building is moving to another building. Most of this floor has already moved and our group moves next week. They’re emptying this building entirely so they can possibly lease it out. Guess when they built the complex, they had about 1,000 more people then they do now.
So anyway, everything’s getting moved around. And, like any move, there’s always stuff people get rid of. Today, there were stacks of used Dell desktop pc’s one of the departments were cleaning out their supply. Love’s brother needs a PC as his died completely a few months ago, so I grabbed one for him and then his Mom’s is so old, I grabbed one for her too. I don’t know their configuration but hey, any pc is better then no pc! It’s funny, because there were stacks of them and everyone went and picked out ones for themselves and now everyone’s desk have spare pc’s on them! One person joked it was like Christmas.
— after lunch –-
I’m so bored. And just don’t want to be here. It’s now 2:41pm and I’ve got about an hour and 20 minutes left to go. Ugh, feels like forever.
What sucks is besides being broke, with Love’s car in desperate need of repair and mine without A/C, we can’t even go anywhere local this weekend or do anything. We need to run to IKEA to return something but it’s a bit of a drive and again, we don’t want to use his car to do it. Times like this are frustrating because normally we would have just asked Rand to drive his car for us over there. And of course, that’s not an option any more. We’d always run errands together on the weekends so it’s just one of those infinite things that remind you he’s gone. It’s the stupid little shit that tends to hurt the most.
This has to be one of the single most random, babbling entry I’ve ever written. But see, this is what happens when I have a entry open throughout the day and I just add to it in little bursts as I think about it.
Alright, one hour to go. Guess I should try to finish off with a little bit of actual work to complete my day. What I need to do is work on some new pieces tonight and get them listed – PhoenixFireDesigns.com and PhoenixFireDesigns.etsy.com – to try and raise some cash for the car repairs. Any suggestions what I should make? I don’t know how I’m going to come up with the money but I need to do something you know?Ta for now.