Seems like by the time I get a moment to update, the news is already outdated. *sigh* But here’s the latest.
He’s still on the respirator. They have turned it off several times and he did breathe on his own, however, he’s not conscious right now and they won’t remove it until he is. They gave him a medication around 4am last night but because his kidneys and liver aren’t functioning 100%, it wasn’t out of his system this afternoon like it would be for a normal person. So it’s why he wouldn’t wake up today when they tried to rouse him. They’ll try again tomorrow because there’s more chance it’ll be out of his system by then. But…it’s still very wait and see.
One of Love’s cousins is a doctor so they had him speak to his Dad’s doctor because Love’s Mom was just in complete panic today that he wasn’t waking up. His cousin explained what was going on and why and said not to panic yet. So, like I said, just more waiting.
Me, Lupron, Doctor
First, tomorrow is my 2 week checkup at the doctor. I’ve been on the Lupron now for two weeks tomorrow. My side effects continue to be different from what I anticipated. First, I’ve had no night sweats at all. And no real hot flashes, but I do have temperature fluctuation where I’m very hot and then very cold and then very hot, etc. It’s not really like a sudden onset, just an ever-shifting change.
Also, what’s been really difficult has been the fatigue and aches. Oh my word, the body aches and fatigue is just overwhelming. I feel like I’m getting the flu; it’s just that kind of overwhelming, body-wide feeling. Also, my migraines have definitely been more out of control then normal which is a worry. All last week it was low-grade migraines culminating in Friday and Saturday when I was just in bed both days all day in misery. Sunday and today it’s been better but I’m very worried that it could hit again without warning.
The other thing is that I’m a big emotional mess. The hormones definitely make me just cry at the smallest things (like a sad thing on TV even!) and when I do get upset about something, I just break down. Last night I sobbed over how frustrated I was and how I just wanted to stop spinning my wheels and getting nowhere; how I just wanted to feel like I was getting somewhere in all this. Just sobbing. :/
I really don’t know what to expect for tomorrow’s appointment. I know the doctor is out on vacation next week so we had to meet tomorrow because it was his last day in office before he was gone. I’m going to talk to him about the side effects and ask about my painkiller (I have less then a week left on the Rx) and what we’re going to do moving forward. You know, like, what’s the plan? Am I getting another shot? If so, one month or three? And if it’s going to be three, I can’t be out of work that long so then what?
I really need to try to not be so stressed though since if I get another hypertensive blood pressure reading, he’s going to really be unhappy. He already wants me to go see a primary care doctor about that but there’s just no way I can afford MORE doctor bills right now! Jeez.
Love and General
Poor Love is exhausted right now because he’s just constantly back-and-forth to the hospital. He goes on lunch, then he goes back after work and then home. He got home after 7pm tonight and was so tired he was asleep on the couch about 9:30pm. I sent him to bed at 10pm to catch up on his sleep. He’s so stressed and worried about his dad and trying to keep his mom calm and such. Plus me. I’m worrying him too of course with my own health issues. And it’s all on him financially right now since I’m out on unpaid leave. I feel like he’s just going to break under all the pressure. And I feel like there’s not enough I am able to do right now to help. Leaves me feeling even more powerless.
Anyway, this is probably way too long for people to want to read already so I might as well stop here. I hope to have some more answers after tomorrow’s appointment and I’m also hoping we’ll have some more good news from Love’s dad too. We really need some positive momentum for a change!