I’m running out of my painkiller and the doctor said he’d renew the prescription for me at my June 21st appointment. The pharmacy never got the order though (they send it electronically) so I’ve been playing phone tag trying to get it refilled. So yesterday, I was down to my last one and I decided not to take it and save it instead.
All day yesterday I felt pretty crappy. Just that “don’t feel good” overall sorta thing. And last night I also woke up three times with hot flashes. It was the first recurrence of the overnight hot flashes since the last time. (Or at least, the first time it was bad enough it woke me up and I remember.) I was also kinda cranky all day yesterday because I didn’t feel well. You know how it goes. Nothing intense or anything, just a general malaise.
Anyway, so today I didn’t take my pill either. I took my hormone add-back but not my painkiller. I started to notice my stomach was hurting but I thought it was GI issues; actual stomach upset rather than real pain. Then about 20 minutes ago I got in the shower. And as I’m in the shower, it really hits me. PAIN. And I realize it’s not my stomach, but that lower abdomen pain I had before. It felt like a lead weight was both hanging in there and the pressure pain was coming back too. In fact, it was getting very suddenly so bad, I was finding it almost hard to breathe. And hard to finish the shower.
Soon as I got out, I wrapped myself in a towel, ran to the kitchen and took my last pill. Hopefully the refill come through today because wow. Apparently yeah I’m not ready to come off it yet. I’ve just gotten up every morning and taken it first thing so I guess I just didn’t realize how much it was in fact helping. Or how bad it would get again without it. Jeez, it’s almost scary how fast the more intense pain that put me in the ER in the first place (and for which they gave me morphine in the hospital!) started to come right back. If I needed a reminder I’m still not in any shape or form well, I just got it.
Right now I’m just sitting in my computer chair with my wet hair waiting for it to kick in. Trying to remain calm and just breathe and let it do it’s thing. Man though…just bad. Really bad.