Lots to cover so hopefully, this will make sense.
First, I got the shot. I only got a 1 month shot instead of the three month shot. (I thought he said two but I was on Valium at the time so I must have misheard.) I was really concerned about the side effects and once I took the shot if it was hell, there was no undoing it. So he gave me a one month to see how it goes. Also, I now know what the name of the shot is: Lupron. I have a follow-up visit in two weeks. (June 21st @ 1:15pm) The follow-up visit will be between $80-140. (Today’s visit was $48) After the next visit, we will determine how things are progressing and whether I will get another one month, three month, or just go for surgery. It just depends on how the tumors shrink, how I feel and finances too I suppose.
The other thing I discovered is that I have a $612 balance from the hospital treatment. It’s separate from the hospital’s own bill so it won’t be covered if the hospital gets any charity aid for me. It also needs to be paid prior to the surgery. So in addition to the down payment of $800, now I also need to pay the balance of $612. The new goal is now $1,400 upfront and a total of $2,600 all together. (Not including things like the office visit costs.)
I have the doctor’s note for this week so I’ll take the next few days to see how I feel and how I can function. I will apparently have some bad cramps the next few days. I also have an increased risk of migraines both from coming off the Pill and from the Lupron itself. I am hopeful that I will be able to maybe go back to work next week at least until my appointment but it depends on how the next few days pan out. They said that if I need something for my work they will fax something so I don’t lose my job. I really need to make some income though so I’m hoping I feel well enough to get a few hours in.
He wants me to see a primary care physician because he says my blood pressure is high. I say it’s just because I’m stressed out of my mind. It’s normally low. He says stress wouldn’t account for it being this high. I say he doesn’t understand the sheer amount of stress I’m in. It’s high because I’m just in a perpetual state of panic. Whatever, I’ll worry about that later. Right now, it’s really not a concern because I think once all this is over with, I will be calmer and therefore my blood pressure will go down on it’s own. This isn’t exactly the time to try and make changes given the fact I’m artificially overtaxed right now and you can’t really get a “normal” baseline in this kind of situation.
I’m stressed as we already mentioned. I’m worried that the one month shot wasn’t the right call but I’m also worried that the three month was too much, so I really don’t know what the answer should have been and of course, now I’m second-guessing myself. But he offered it as an option so… I know one month most likely won’t be enough and I’ll need another shot but I just felt like there was no going back once that three month one was in me. I feel like at least this way, I can get a month to see how I react instead of three months of unknown. I mean, a month is scary enough as it is, you know? I’m worried that because he donated the shot, if I need another, he might not have a donation one for me. And the one month shot is like $600 and the three month one is like $2,000 apparently. But I can’t dwell on that because it’s done and he said he’ll give it to me if he has it and it seems unlikely that he’ll use it in the next two weeks until my appointment. I mean, it’s been sitting there as it was so what’s another few weeks…? I don’t know. I’m just worried. Worried about everything.
I’ve had a lot of good feedback and a lot of people willing to help donate items to an etsy shop for me and that is just so wonderful. I’m so grateful. I will work on getting the shop up and running this week and am working to get back to everyone who wants to donate an item. Just wanted to acknowledge and say thank you to all my friends who are helping in this endeavor.
One last thing to be stressed about…I had an appointment to get Love’s car looked at the weekend I wound up in the ER. The A/C stopped working and we wanted to take it back to the place that did the work last summer since it was under warranty still. Well, needless to say, with the ER stay, we never made the appointment. Love’s been using my car since my a/c works and I haven’t needed it. But today I needed my car to get to my appointment. He took his. Well, turns out not only is the a/c not coming on, but the radiator fan isn’t either and the car overheated. Now he can’t drive it home and it’s stuck at his work which is about 45 minutes from home. He’ll get a ride home tonight but…we need to get the car, get it towed and get it somewhere to be fixed now with all this going on and with who knows what money. When it rains, it not only pours, it wipes out entire fucking villages.
And I think that’s enough for now. Like I said, a lot to cover. I’m exhausted though so I think I’m going to lay down for now and deal with replying to things, working on the new shop, etc. later.