Posted by miss m on Tuesday, November 8, 2011 @ 1:30am in Finances, General Blather, Hysterectomy, mobile, Sickness and Health Issues |

Another night another bout of insomnia. I am laying in bed typing this on my phone unable to sleep. Ever since surgery I can't fall asleep. I lay here and my mind just spins and spins. I never used to have this problem; sleep has always been a friend to me. I would lay down and easily drift off. Now its all changed and its frustrating.

I am so worried about everything these days. Things like bills and money literally keep me up at night. I am sick to my stomach thinking about where its going to come from and how I am going to manage to pull it off. Like forget gas or food or bills due before next payday how about having three doctor appointments between then and now at a bare minimum of $75 in copays. (3 × $25) There is only $100 in my account. And that's only the minimum.  Everyone is gong to want more to put towards past due balances. And I just don't have it. So I lay here and worry worry worry and sleep eludes me.

I'm so overwhelmed right now and insomnia isn't helping. So another night another brain that wont shut down and miserable churning in my stomach. But no soft, easy release into sleep despite my desperate wish for it.

I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm stressed. I'm sick to my stomach and it gets harder each day rather than easier. Physically I may be healing but mentally I feel like I'm falling apart.

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